Is grieving alone healthy?

Question

My grandmother recently passed away. My mother and I (she in Missouri and I in Illinois) both prefer to grieve alone, but others (friends, family) say that isn't healthy, that we should share our grief with others who are also grieving, by talking and crying with them. This caused some tension in our family. Now that that is behind us, I'm wondering if there is any evidence to prove whether shared grief or solitary grief are any different in their relative psychological "health". Anyone here know?

Thanks so much,
J

Answer 1

it depends on the person-whatever makes U feel better !!!dont let others tell u how u "should" handle ur own emotions-we are all different.i survived the MURDER of the closest person in the world to me at that time,and the thing that helped me most was taking long,long walks by myeself.i left the car home and walked just about everywhere.if i felt like talking about it,i did,but most of the time,the peaceful serenity of nature helped soothe me,and being alone was a time to wrestle with my feelings,and make whatever sense and peace i could of the situation.and i turned out just fine. i'll never forget of course,but 5 years later, i am married and happy,and i have made a wonderful life with my family.so,grieve in whatever way heals u best.do what feels right 2 u !!!!!!God bless.

Answer 2

It is important that you grieve at your own pace. When my grandmother died, I could not let down and grieve right away, because I needed to be strong for my mother, who does not handle emotional situations with stoic detachedness. After the funeral, relatives gathered at mom's house to view old photos and talk about good times. It seemed to help everyone to be together and remember. It is an important part of the grieving process. Then, when everyone was gone and it was quiet, I was able to let down and cry. In the first year, I cried off and on a lot, during holidays, or just when I needed Grandmother's advice- still do at times. But I can always call someone in the family and we can talk- that is comforting.
By contrast, on the other side of the family, when my other grandma died at a relatively young age, no one would talk about her- and since I was just ten when she died, it affected me that everyone in that family was so stoic and would not even talk about the good times. I had been very close to her, and still miss her thirty years later. It would have been more healthy if we could have shared each other's sorrow, at some point.
So, I think it is healthy to grieve at your own pace, and you will know when it is time to share with others. You should not avoid sharing under normal circumstances- I don't know your relatives- if they are a little screwball anyway, don't worry about it- but if you tend to be reclusive, they may have reason to worry about you. But I definitely think that a certain "style" of grieving should not be forced.

Answer 3

While there is no 'correct' answer, it is important to realize that people handle their grief differently. If you prefer to grieve alone, my advice is to keep a good log of your emotions. If they continually get increasingly more depressive, it might be a good idea to go and seek professional guidance.
Also, it might be good to talk to your mother often. Sometimes, it's easier to handle these things with someone who is going through the same thing.
My sincerest condolences. Good luck in the recovery.

Answer 4

A balance between the 2 can bring the best outcome.....because your inner person needs that time to heal and then there's a side to knowing your not alone in this....We all grieve...Yet we are all so different .......some solely alone ....some with others......but a hug always makes it better! So I send you one with this....there really is statistics on this....but we are all individuals and that's not a number!

Answer 5

Sometimes grieving alone would give you a chance to reflect and meditate..
It could be healthy for some people and could be dangerous to others. esp. if you have a history of depression. Sometimes it's good to share your sorrow for those you can trust and lean on. That's what family are there for.

Answer 6

Nobody can tell someone else how to grieve. Some people do prefer to grieve alone & in their own time. Some prefer to find solice in having people around for a shoulder to cry on. I am like you & your mom, I prefer to grieve in my own time & in my own way.
Ask the friends & family to allow to to grieve in your own way. Tell them it like voting, PERSONAL CHOICE!!
Good Luck & I'm Sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

He should be hurting too. some men will quite wade through in silence and throw blame on human beings because they cant manage having their thoughts being seen. picking to paintings and under no circumstances staying abode should be his way of attempting to manage it and quite than blending both one in all of your emotions into one family individuals he needs to keep busy and paintings. it form of feels egocentric yet from his view it should be extra valuable for both one in all you. Did you particularly ask him to stay abode with you? I likely ought to because then he's conscious that you dont want to manage this on my own. basically tell him you should really use his help and if he ought to easily spend the day with you you should quite have a good time with it. possibly day after today?

Answer 8

of course it isnt healthy but you cant grieve with each other if you dont want to. just grieve in your own way and dont worry about what the others think

Answer 9

no one can tell you what to do in situations like this. it's a matter of personal emotions and what you want at the time. i don't think, in my opinion, it has to do with health, it's a totally personal matter. maybe, in time, when you feel the need to share your problem and your grief, get in contact with your family. good luck and my condolences.

Answer 10

Anyway you want to!! its your pain and you need to deal with it as comfortable as you can, they dont want to grieve alone but thats their choice.. what helped my mom deal with grandmother and grandfathers death was alone in chicago and prayer..BLESSINGS and may angels help you guys resolve any pain left.