My husband and i have been married almost a year and dated 6 months before marrying.We have a 3 month old daughter together. But our relationship is not going well and has not for a while he has a very bad temper and can be verbally abusive. The worst thing he has ever done is to pin me to a wall and to shove me but i was angry with him for leaving for 3 days without a word.Another problem is he holds it over my head that my family is well off (upper middle class) and he does not respect them and calls them names.Recently the police came to the house looking for him because they have reopened and investigation on a case (Homicide).I now my husband had a shady past but i thought that ended years ago when i asked him about it he would not answer.He did not come home again last night i called his mother to talk and found out when he was younger he was put in( jeuvy) was a drug dealer , a stole car/parts and was a memeber of Crypts?not sure who they are?what can i do?confused?
2006-11-16 04:26:38 · 30 answers · asked by Persephone H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I graduated from college last year with a Business major and Communication minor but have never worked because of the baby?
2006-11-16 04:29:15 · update #1
My question is why are you still there?
2006-11-16 04:36:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would believe the police. And I would leave and I don't just mean leave I mean hide. If your parents are financially secure have them send you and the baby some place he won't know to look for you. At least until they finish their investigation. For one thing you already know he is a violent person. And for another even if he didn't do what the police think he did. If it was done when he was in with an unsavory crown they could be fearful that he might point the finger at them and try to hurt you or the baby has a warning to keep his mouth shut. You aren't from his world you don't know how his kind work. I grew up in some very bad areas of town. I mean a girl couldn't walk down the street without some kind of protection or you ran a good risk of being raped. And their was a lot of gang activity around. I know what people like this are capable of and you don't want any part of it.
2006-11-16 07:17:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
crypts is a gang so you know and what can you do. i seriously re-evaluate your life with him. if he's verbally abusive to you, how do you think he'll be to his daughter. he has major control issues. such as controlling the fact that he can leave you and your daughter for 3 days and you would never be able to do that. he's comparing your families life to the life you have with him and that makes the situation worse. if he's had a shady past you might want to think of the possibilities that he may be doing some bad things again. if he's leaving for 3 days you should question that which you obviously have and consider, what type of people leave their families for 3 days and then don't tell them what's going on. he's hiding something. he may or may not have commited the crime (homicide), so your better off just being a neural party. if you start to lead toward you not believing him, he could possibly hurt you with more than just words and your daughter too. if you are fearing him, i suggest you leave. you should talk to the police about it and they can help you. they can't withold information about your husband from you, you're his wife. tell them that you're not sure what you believe and explain to them he's been leaving without telling you where he's going and he'll be gong for 3 days. this will look suspisious since they've reopened a homicide case he was possibly involved in. good luck
2006-11-16 04:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by AnneeMoon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The "crypts" is a big nasty gang! He's BAD NEWS! For the sake of your daughter, GET AWAY FROM HIM! I would believe the police if I were you, because the police don't just knock on your door about something like that without good reason.
The fact that he's disappearing is a HUGE red flag that he's up to something no good. You should have been told about all of his past before you got married to him, this isn't fair to you and you should be angry!
If he's shown any aggression to you at all (shoving you against the wall) then he will do more and more until he kills you or your daughter. I know it sounds scary, but you need to be scared right now.
File for a divorce and get full custody of your daughter with no visitation. This shouldn't be a problem as he's under investigation for MURDER! Please please please get some help.
2006-11-16 04:36:36 · answer #4 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are confused about what? He is a person of interest in a Homicide case and this should be 100 percent alarming to you. He has a bad temper and is verbally abusive. A verbally abusive relationship will almost always turn physically abusive. Stop trying to figure out why and get your life together for your baby. You are endangering the life of your child by staying with this man. What you choose to ignore you will later regret. You have an abusive man for the role model of your child with a shady past that is now coming back to haunt him what more do you need? Do you need to lose your life ? Do you need harm to come to your baby? Get out.
2006-11-16 04:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Listen you have an education get away from this loser and get yourself and your baby a home by yourselves and if he trys to get visitation while getting your divorce you tell your lawyer he has a shady past and you dont want you child around that any judge in his/her right mind will not allow visitation. Honey I will pray for you and please get you and your child to safety . he has already shoved you and pinned you to a wall what else need be said he is abusive get out now before it gets any worse. Been there done that and went to shelter. It was my only option. That was 24 yrs ago best thing I ever did. You will not be safe or happy untill you do this . I will pray for you. good luck and god bless and happy thanksgiving.
2006-11-16 04:43:32 · answer #6 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have great difficulty why you would consider standing by this man. I suppose it proves the statement love is blind. He is not good news. He may not even get a custodial sentence at the end of all this and will be out there doing the same to some other woman and you will have to ask the same questions all over again. Let the facts speak to you not a damaged heart. If he is bleating and pleading with you at the moment saying what a terrible mistake it all is and how he knows this etc etc. He is bricking it naturally because he has been caught but I guarantee that as soon as it blows over he will blow again.....another victim will suffer. Please please think of yourself.
2016-03-28 22:33:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi my name is Annia but in my school people call me Nila . well to answer your question it is hard to be in that situation . my opinion is to think if he is not treating u right and he is leaving the house well my point is to think of that little girl u got i would like to have my daughter to see al that abusing and her probably wondering why her dad is leaving and havent seen him in a while ... My point is that you should probably put a restrict oder on him that he can be near u and the girl 4rm a distance and if is not true then u can always take it off .. But before u do any thing talk to him and explain ur situation and if he really loves u he will wait until u see that hopefully none of it is true . well if u want we can talk about this more just write to me ok..
Ur friend
Nila
2006-11-16 04:52:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two words - GET OUT! Go home to your parents. Go somewhere - just get out now. This will be the best decision you will ever make in your entire life. Then after your out, get some counseling to find out why you married someone you only knew 5 months. If you stay with him your life will be a nightmare. You will become even more co-dependant and hooked into him and the longer you stay the harder it will be to get out. You and your child are not safe with this person. You are a MOTHER now. You have a responsibility to PROTECT your child if not yourself. Get out. Dont worry about your stuff. Take what you need and get out. Please let us know how your doing!!
2006-11-16 04:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by Blondana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you got Pregnant BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED.Mistake NUMBER 1. Your in a abusive relationship. Mistake Number 2. Leave before mistake number 3 happens. Why are you there.
2006-11-16 04:45:56 · answer #10 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is it the Crips?? that's a pretty scary gang.....
as for police vs husband, i think i'd probably believe the police. cuz ur husband has proven tendencies to break the law and abuse you, and he has gone to juvy and was a drug dealer, etc.
u should get outta there ..he doesn't even treat u well, leaving for 3 days!! what the heck.. take ur baby and leave!
2006-11-16 04:35:37 · answer #11 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋