I like one of my husbands friends more than I should. What should I do?

Question

I have known my husband for 6 years and we have been married for 4 years. I can say I am truly not happy and we have a 3year old and thats why we are together today. I like one of our friends and I just dont want to cause trouble between my husband and this friend, but I cant help what I feel. Tha said guy is very sweet and I have know him for about 7 years and we have never been more than friends. My husband has always given me everything I have ever wanted, but nothing I have ever needed.

Answer 1

You are in the middle of the issue. You already know what you want to do, you are just waiting until you can justify it. Hurry along and no matter what it will work out better.

Answer 2

Don't do it. Let it go, and release it from your mind. I speak from experience. My husband and I were on the rocks, and I unintentionally developed feelings for his cousin. One thing led to another, and because of the marital discord, and our seperation, his cousin and I ended up together.

Adding insult to injury, we didn't flee from each other after the do was done. We continued the relationship because it had developed into a very deep emotional one before we explored it physically.

Now I am torn in two, wishing I had never went there with his cousin. Not because I don't love him, or because he isn't a totally amazing person, because he is the sweetest, greatest man I've ever met, let alone had/have a relationship with. But, because of his relationship to my husband, the father of my children, even though we are getting divorced.........it could never REALLY be between him and I. I just refuse to accept it right now because the relationship is so good, and so giving. What messes it up is what should have prevented it from happening in the first place. My husband, his cousin.

Now the worst part, is that I am really not entirely over my husband. I kind of am, but not enough to leave him alone. I am like an ant on some sugar.

You made your choice, you are with your husband. Teach him to see your needs, and hope he still acknowledges your wants. But don't play with fire, because you will get burned.

Answer 3

You'd have to identify why you are truly not happy and work from it from there. I know of a couple that were perfect for each other...they truly loved each other and tied the knot. Then, first baby came along and little by little, they didn't like each other; then second baby came along, then it got worse. Five years after the first child was born, things are better. If your husband has given you everything you wanted, he sounds like he's a good man. Usually, it's the other way around--they do want you need and not what you want. Give time, I think you're luckier than you realize!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

He has given you what you wanted but not what you needed???
Maybe you should begin to need what you want because from here you sound like a spoiled little brat who is about to screw over a guy who has done nothing but love you. This question is so full of BS it is almost beyond serious. So what you are saying is that a family FRIEND is now the object of your affection and you want him. Maybe you should ask your husband to invite him into your bedroom because he'll give you what you want.
Let me rephrase what you should do. GROW UP. Take a hard look at your circumstance and figure out quickly if you want to be a person worthy of respect or contempt.

Answer 5

why did you marry him?now you have a child who is use to you both and you are about to break that up.I have nothing against being happy,but you should have never married some one who wasn't giving you what you needed.You are about to make some choices that will really have negative effects on many people and all because you didn't choose right from the start,get some counseling before you ruin your child's life and hurt others for your satisfaction.Sit down with your husband and tell him you are not happy and need more,he is the person you should be talking to.put this flirtation behind you for now and try to help your own family.

Answer 6

Finally, a simple question with an easy answer. First, you decide if you want to make things work with your husband. If not you split up, divorce, etc. Second, when some time has passed from the current relationship ending, if that's the decision, then you begin a new relationship. At no time do you consider cheating!! Cheating will ruin the lives of everyone involved, including the young child. Believe me I know, I have been both cheated on while married and cheated with someone who was married. It always ends very, very badly.

Answer 7

You need to tell your husband everything that you've written here. Stop fantasizing and deal with the problem upfront. Why piss away your life in an unhappy situation. It could be F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real) that allows you to see this guy so sweetly. You don't really know him intimately--he may be a jerk in disguise. Deal with the man that you made a child with, before considering your options. Remember, the grass on the other side of the fence has weeds and requires work also.

Answer 8

your husband never givers you any thing needed,,guess you dont need your kid right???????and if he dont give ya no di_k yet either i guess!! if your not happy then guess you'll just have to cheat again,,, go ahead and drop your lil panties for the other dude,sure your husband wont mind your fu_king his freind,,after all what are freinds for,,,,,you gotta be a real pig to even think of screewing around on your spouce,,that goes for you or anyone else that cant keep there hormones in check long enough to let those type feelings pass,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Answer 9

Cut off contact with your husbands friend. Don't hang out with him, keep conversations brief, avoid him at all costs. Imagine him picking his nose or eating his own toe jam every time he crosses your mind if you have to.
If you're going to end your marriage, then get a divorce and end it - but don't damage their friendship by running to his best friend afterwards. There are millions of fish in the sea - have enough respect for your husband (ex husband), the father of your child, and his friend to NOT pick THAT fish.

Answer 10

Separate what you want to do with the friend and your problem with your husband.

If you simply must be with this other man, please do the respectful thing for your husband and leave him first, give the marriage time to go through divorce and end in peace, THEN talk to the friend more. But I bet if you knew you had to wait a couple of years to have the friend you'd think differently lol

Answer 11

You first need to try to resolve your marital issues. Concentrate on that and NO ONE else. If it is clear that you simply cannot go on married to him, get a divorce...Then and ONLY then should you consider other relationships. You need to put this other guy on the back-burner until you can get straight with yourself...it won't do you (or your daughter) any good to jump from one fouled up relationship to another and I can almost guarantee that if you pursued a relationship with the other guy, that that is how it would end up.