This boy that I like just lost his dad. I never met his father and found out he died of a disease and didn't really want anyone to know about it. Is it appropriate to ask him how is father died and if he knew about his father's disease? (I don't think I should ask something like that) I went out on a date with him before and for the past few months had been asking him if he would give me a second chance cause I really liked him and his response was always maybe. Of course after such a tragedy I am not looking to have a relationship with him because he needs time to deal with the his loss. Do I make it clear to him that right now I am not looking for a relationship with him but I will be here for him as a friend? I have been there for him before when he has had a problem and I feel like he might want to talk about it and might be expecting me to say something to him. What should I say to him or should I wait tell he tells me he wants to talk?
2006-11-16 04:23:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
help them out.
2006-11-16 04:25:55 · answer #1 · answered by The FFX Blitz ™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that You know that he is going through a very difficult time right now and you just wanted to let him know that if he EVER needs to talk or a shoulder to cry on he can always come to you. I would not even say Just as friends to him because it might make him more upset. Don't wait because he is needing someone right now more than he is admitting. He might be thinking that he will be better if he keeps everything to himself but he will soon realize he needs someone. Being there for him may bring you 2 closer than friends if you are wanting that second chance. Good Luck!
2006-11-16 04:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by cmsmith114 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my dad when I was 17. I was devastated. I had a girlfriend already, she was an important element in being able to cope. I wouldn't talk about a relationship with him right now. Let it go for a while. If you went to his house, sat down with him for just a minute no more and explain that you are there if he needs someone, give him a hug and a kiss on his cheek then look him straight in the eyes while you hold his face and say, "you know how to get ahold of me, anytime". Then leave. He will never forget that moment.
2006-11-16 04:38:51 · answer #3 · answered by Ricky: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
A friend is a person that know's all about you and is still your friend. if by my difination this guy is realy your friend because you know about the father's death and the caurse. I'm suggesting that for the time biegn what your friend need company and real friendly talks to handling loss takes time to heal the wound. but the company of a loved one could help alot. Plaese forget about any other relationship apart from just hanging around for him I bet you what you are looking for will come up naturally on it own in th course of your good attitude at this time of loss. From your question on your past realtionship with him ur such a lovely person that no guy will afford to miss expecially in time like this.
love Best of luck
Lizzy
2006-11-16 04:47:36 · answer #4 · answered by ELIZABETH KING 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows how his father died--if you found out, then he found out. Don't bring up the subject like that.
Be his friend more than anything--I would bring him something, and say "if you ever need someone to talk to, even at 3 AM, please give me a call." DO NOT MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOU AREN'T TRYING TO DATE HIM RIGHT NOW--he's under enough pressure. Just be there for him and he'll do what works the best for him.
2006-11-16 04:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put a hand on his shoulder and tell him that you would really like to talk to him about how he is doing and let him vent. Tell him that you are sorry he is in pain.
Concentrate what you say on his feelings and needs. He needs the sympathy and the soothing.
2006-11-16 04:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that although you don't really know how he feels right now, you still want him to know you feel really bad for him. And if he needs someone to talk to all he has to do is call.
Good Luck !!
2006-11-16 04:27:00 · answer #7 · answered by lisa46151 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry about the details be there for him. be there if he needs a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, basically just be there. Never jump to a subject let him bring it up he might not want to talk about certain stuff
2006-11-16 04:27:56 · answer #8 · answered by babyblue1512000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him. If he seems to be looking for more than friendship, gently tell him that you are there as a friend, & you don't think it's the time to pursue a relationship.
2006-11-16 04:26:12 · answer #9 · answered by pr1ncezz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say ...i am so sorry for your loss and if you need someone to talk to i am here for you...don't go asking if he knew about it or any nosy questions like that because its rude if he wants you to know he will tell you !
2006-11-16 04:25:56 · answer #10 · answered by CRYSTAL S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my father passed away it seemed like people were scared to talk to me about it which bugged me. It helped me to talk about it. Let him know that you are willing to listen to him. That is what he needs just someone to listen to him.
2006-11-16 04:27:11 · answer #11 · answered by steph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋