Can you just leave a letter and go?? Legally? of course morally you cant I wish
2006-11-16 04:15:10 · 29 answers · asked by jules 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
okay what if i told him where i was going would that work? I know very cowardly
2006-11-16 04:21:18 · update #1
If you cant live with your partner and you have tried to make things work and they dont, then be grown up, move out find a place to go and allow him to see his kids, they will need him and he has parental responsibility the same as you, if you are scared seek advice and act upon it. You only live once, be happy and achieve what you wish to. talk to him he may feel the same way.
remember you are a person in your own right and you can do what you want, but be fair!!!!.
Hope this helps
2006-11-16 07:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by brommas 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can do it, but there will be consequences, and if you take the children, he will not just lay down and let it happen.
Something tells me that you can do what you wish, but when you involve the children in it, if there was no issue of some form of child abuse or neglect on his part, ........then he may let YOU go, but he won't tolerate you TAKING them from him.
Whatever your decision, I'm sure it's justified, but go about it the wrong way. Otherwise, he can press charges for child kidnapping, and beat you to the punch by filing for sole physical and legal custody with you only having VISITATION. And if it is on record that you took them and fled, then he will look like the good guy.
Let your relationship go if it is necessary, but don't involve the kids in YOUR decision to part unless he has hurt them in some way. More than anything cover your own butt, and make sure you are doing the right thing morally (consider the kids' feelings) and legally (don't break any laws) or else the consequences could come back to haunt you.
2006-11-16 04:33:25 · answer #2 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can do but should your husband wish to see the kids then he has a right to do so. If you deny him access then the courts could allow him to do so. Such an action would be quite foolhardy as leaving the marital home is considered as dereliction.
Unless there is cruelty in the relationship. Get all the legal options sorted first then make the most appropriate move.
I do feel sorry as you must feel trapped. Best of luck.
2006-11-16 04:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can only tell you that if my wife was to just secretly pack my kids and take off, there would be an amber alert out for her in no time and then she could explain to the police that arrest her why she is taking off with my children like that. She would be on the news and then I would have a great case to win full custody of my children in my divorce... Do it the right way and make sure you do it legal, or you could end up losing big in the end.
2006-11-16 04:20:56 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you could, and if he is an abusive jerk...you should!!!! And if he is abusive, it can't even be considered morally wrong. You are protecting yourself and your kids!! Nothing wrong with that!!! And if my husband abused me, I wouldn't even leave a letter.
Obviously there is something really wrong with your marriage if you are considering this. And I have a feeling that it must be because of abuse that you are thinking of leaving without his knowledge. There must be some sort of fear there for you NOT to tell him you are leaving him. And if he is abusing you, and there is concrete evidence of this, then there is nothing HE can legally do. Especially if the abuse is on the children as well. Then he wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
But if he is not abusive, and relatively a good husband, then you should tell him you are leaving.
2006-11-16 04:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by Cblack22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey there is NOTHING morally or legally wrong with you packing up and leaving. Yes you can take the kids. If there is something SO WRONG at home that you feel the need to pack and run, I can't argue that. Do what you feel is best and safest for you and your kids. And talk to an attorney. Even if you can't afford him, he can steer you towards an attorney who can help you.
Good luck and don't listen to any bible thumpers who tell you to stay and work it out. If you feel the need to run, run.
2006-11-16 04:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is another way, my friend did it but it took time which is something you may not have.
1. she changed her name by deed pol (UK) obtained another birth certificate, passport the lot
2. She saved enough money to get away
3. She left after 6 months taking the children
4. She then changed their names b deed pol
5. He or anyone else has never seen her again I had one letter fro her 20 years ago and that was it. I know h has never seen or heard from her as I live in the same village as him and he only asked me once where she was I stated that I didn't know and that was that - don't think he was really that concerned anyway
2006-11-16 09:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by hockey sticks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the circumstances and where you live.
If it is because of violence and you are in danger then yes you can, but go through the proper channels for this, I am presuming that where you live, there is some sort of support network for domestic violence.
If its because you just don't want to be with him, yeah you can just up and leave, but you must let him know where his children are, its only fair on him and them. If the children have a good relationship with their father, it is cruel to take that away.
2006-11-16 05:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called abandonment, and "legally" not advisable. You would lose permanent custody of your children, not to mention the pain you would cause your family for years afterward.
Your children would wonder what they did wrong to make mommy leave. Your husband would be mentally scarred for life. For years afterward he would have to deal with legal issues like custody, fighting the courts to show that you have indeed abandoned your children and him, and so be reminded of you for a long time.
Although we all want time off, I don't think abandoning your children and husband is what you really want.
2006-11-16 04:20:17 · answer #9 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, he has a a right to see his kids. Eventually they will find you and you will have to deal with him anyway. Start it out right in the beginning. Go to the courts or a lawyer if you have the money which is the better way to go and file for custody. You don't want to have to worry about losing your kids. If you deny him by running the courts, depending on the judge may be angry with you and give custody to him. Be smart, good luck.
2006-11-16 04:18:51 · answer #10 · answered by Elvira 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋