He is married but he still wants to continue seeing me?

Question

I have been dating this guy for about 6 months now I really like him and he has showed much affection towards me and he has told me that he has fallen in love with me and I feel the same way he also tells me I make him happy .... Now he is married but not happy and knows he has much to lose if he would divorce but I am in love with him now and I know I need to break it off and I know for me it is going to be difficult ... Can anyone help how should I go about this .... Now remember we have feelings for each other

Answer 1

Think about this for a moment if you will, if he took all the time and energy that he has spent on you this past 6 months and spent it on his wife, do you think he would have a bad marriage? Another point to ponder, the feelings he has for you right now, do you think he had those same feelings for his wife when they had been going together for 6 months? One more, if he has shown this pattern before, how long before he is bored with you and needs another woman to make him feel good? You are asking us if you should have a relationship with a liar and a cheat, I would not recommend it. What I would recommend though, is for you to step back and look at your relationship with your head and not your heart so you can actually see what you are doing to him and his wife.

Answer 2

You are going to have to leave him. I know how you feel, I have been there, and its the hardest thing to do, and you are going to hurt and you are going to cry, but in the end its for the best. I am speaking from experience, and I can tell you that to this day I do hurt, I am no longer in love with him the way I used to be, but I do care about him because he once was the man of my heart. But you need to understand that married men are married and no matter how much you two love each other, as long as he is married, he is not yours. I know that you want to be with him and I know that right now you are willing to take whatever you can, and if you can only see him once a week, you will take that and if you can only get a kiss and then he has to run home, you will take that, but soon you will realise that you want more that you want to come home to him and you want to wake up next to him, and you want to spend every weekend and every week night with him and you can't. You will get frustrated with yourself because you are going to think that you are not patient enough and that he is the man that you love and that you should just wait and see when he will have a chance to come and see you again. And then once in a while he will be able to get away and you two will go away and spend some great time together and you will again fall in love with him even more and you will tell yourself that what you have is awesome, but soon you will be feeling lonely again, and you will start to get depressed because no one else will make you feel the way he does. Please believe me and move on, its so hard to do the longer you are with him. I was in that situation for 4 years, trust me.

Answer 3

I read somewhere a few years ago that 7% of the men who claim they will leave their wives for "the other woman" actually ever do it. That means there is a 93% chance that you are going to be taken advantage of and eventually left to hurt by yourself. Whether he has feelings for you or not, he is first of all lying and cheating on his wife - a person he has vowed to cherish above all others (deliver me from this kind of "cherishing"). He is also lying and cheating you. He is lying to you telling you you are the important one and he is only with her for ....the children....the house.....the family.....the business.....the whatever. When he goes to bed at night he sleeps with her. When he pays the electric bill, the house payment, the car payment, etc., it benefits her, not you. When he leaves you alone on weekends and holidays and nights he goes home to her and has a family. You are alone and have the pity of friends who might know about this. (They also agree with Valerie) He is also cheating you out of possible relationships that you might develop with a single guy if you were not so "in Love" with him. I know all this because I have experienced it, and I have seen it happen to many other people. Don't make it any harder than necessary. You will not break his heart (he has already broken yours).. Tell him as soon as possible - worse the longer you put it off. Don't plan some special evening to say goodbye. Don't trick yourself into the last kiss, last toast, last night of "whatever". Tell him in as public a place as possible so that he cannot make a scene or change your mind by pleading. Tell him that you have had feelings for him but you now realize that they are wrong for you and that he has committments to others and you are going to move on with your life. Wish him well (since you say you have feelings for each other). Ask him not to continue to contact you. Get up after this and LEAVE. Do not allow yourself to hope the phone will ring with him saying please forgive me, I'll get a divorce. If he did, would you really be happy---ever trust him??? Dr. Phil says "If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you". He is right. Protect yourself, move on and build a happier life for yourself. Then look for a nice single guy to build a a relationship with.

Answer 4

Why in the world do women get messed up with a married man. He knew he was married , you knew he was married. You get the story he is unhappy. Don't you think he will do the same thing to you when he gets tired of you. He is a liar, a thief for stealing your trust , and a cheat for cheating on his wife. He lies to his wife ever time he is with you . He lies to you ever time he goes home and makes love to his wife. Run away from this guy. You deserve to be loved by a great guy who worships the ground you walk on . Not what he is telling you , he is a liar, a theft and a cheat and they never change. He will do the same thing to you after a few years and you put on a few pounds, you are tired from dealing with kids and the house work. Or do you want to be treated like a back street piece of trash that deserves the crumbes of life. Get a real man not this left over piece of trash.

Answer 5

Ummmm, yeah, okay, like do u not see what the result will be of a relationship with someone married? Either he strings u along until u finally give up or he actually divorces and the two of u get together and he does the same thing with u and some new girlfriend. I know what ur answer to that is, it would be different because he would not do that to me. If u truly believe that then u don't need any advice from anyone.

Answer 6

I am going to take your feelings into consideration while I write my response. You are going to hurt no matter what happens. I know you have fallen for him however he's not shown his true colors to you. He made a committment to his wife, and i'm sure she knows nothing about your affair. So he has shown that he is capable of being unfaithful, deceitful and selfish. His life at home could be romance and roses and to keep you on the side he tells you its awful. You really have no way of knowing the truth do you. I hope i'm lighting a small fire under you right now because you need to get mad and you need to get out. This affair is exactly that and it needs to be stopped.

Answer 7

I have been in the same situation as you....i know you don't want to hear this but there is a slim chance he will ever leave his wife for you....your relationship is new and exciting to him right now, and as time goes on the newness will wear off and then you will be the one broken hearted....trust me, i know, i have been there...if he really loves you and wants to be with you, it won't matter what it costs him to be with you....respect yourself and do not let yourself be the one that hides in the shadows...you are much better than that

Answer 8

I feel really bad for you. I know that you have feelings for this man. I know that in the back of your head you know his wife will always be the one.. and if he has children.they will be his priority in time... and he won't give up his wife.......his family life. If the wife knows, watch out! If she doesn't , your still in the whole because no matter what ......he is still not going to be with you exclusively.ever, get it ?
He will always have a special relationship with his wife, one you won't compare to, or compete...even if you try to stay with him......The wife will always be in the back of your mind. When he's late or doesn't show or whatever. you'll know....He's with his wife. He'll deny it . tell u it's over but make no mistake they are still having sex and he still loves her. You need to be with someone that will make you their top priority , not there third. You need a single man. I hope you have strenght and Discipline to break away..good luck

Answer 9

As hard as it is to end something with someone you love you need to in this case. This man is using you whether you want to believe it or not. He wants it both ways; have a wife and have a mistress and that is simply not right. You deserve to have fidelity, trust and honesty and not someone who makes you feel second best next to their wife. Also how would you feel if you were his wife? Pretty awful I bet. You owe it to yourself to break it off and find a more deserving partner. This man is simply being greedy. I hope this helps and sorry if I seem too blunt.

Answer 10

Well, since you asked. What part of this was, is, and always will be a bad idea do you not understand? Are you really this stupid?

You knew he was married and went out with him anyway? Now your in love with him and you know you have to break it off? You didn't know this before?

The only feelings he has for you are in his pants. Do the right thing and drop this asshole!