one day she asked me if I would take her to a guy/mans house if ever she would have and affair. I told her no straight out. Next thing I know she no longer answers my phone calls nor does she acknowlege me. I now come to find out by her family and friends that she told her family, friends and husband that I was trying to break her marriage up. Which is a complete lie. Her husband was also my husbands best friend and now she doesn't even let him talk to my husband either. How do I approach the situation. Should I leave it as is or should I approach her husband and let him know.
2006-11-16 04:04:55 · 10 answers · asked by clean p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Leave it as it is, she wasnt really your friend if she stops talking to you like that. Who cares what her family thinks, but don't tell her husband it's not really your place to tell him something like that. Plus she might do something really messed up to you if you tell him.
2006-11-16 04:07:47 · answer #1 · answered by Angie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't want to talk to you because you know her dirty little secret...she probably thinks you told your husband and that is why she doesn't want anything to do with him iether for fear he will tell her hubby. You haven't done anything wrong which means you can't fix it.
I don't think you should tell her husband any thing at this point. I had a very similar situation one time and I ended up being the shi* head in the whole deal and they BOTH ended up blaming me!!!!! It was easier than blaming eachother....
You did the right thing by saying no to the request to sponser her affair. It was wrong of her to ask you....very very wrong. My friend, who had been my best bud since kindergarden, did the same thing she did, I knew she was having an affair, actually one after another, I didn't tell her hubby someone else did. We eventually spoke again but honestly, things have never been the same. She used to tell her hubby she was with me and then call me later and say that she had told him that so I wouldn't spill the beans and she wouldn't get caught cheating. It made me feel awful and finally one day I said I didn't want to be used that way and it had to stop and she was mad....soooooooo....
Maybe you can just have a private conversation with her somehow, maybe even send her a letter confirming that you would not be a part of such a thing and that YOU are upset that she would think that you would.
Try not to feel bad, you haven't done anything wrong...you did the right thing and that is all that matters. Let her huff, puff, and spread lies all she wants, you know the truth. She knows the truth, good luck to you and congrats. on standing up for what is right and not folding.
2006-11-16 04:20:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your (apparently, now former) friend know the truth, and as long you both know the truth, you really don't need to waste your time fighting a hard defense. If family and friends respect you, they will not judge soley based on your friend's accusations - if they do, how worthy are those relationships?
All-in-all, although the situation is upsetting, with multiple friendships broken, this matter is really between your former friend and her husband. Often, attempts to plead your side in situations such as these will only aggravate the wound. Your story is out there and her story is out there. If her husband feels honesty, respect, and trust are vital for his relationship to prosper, then he will take that step forward to find out the truth for himself. Also, if there was any respect for the close friendship he had with your husband, he should be willing to hear out both sides before making a decision about your friendships.
2006-11-16 04:46:20 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. Joanna Craig 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should just leave well enough alone. there is probably no need to try to clear your name with her family other friends or husband.
let her go, if she wants to go. i am going through a similiar situation with a friend of mine... not the same circumstances, but the demise of the relationship is currently happening, and i have come to the determination that no matter what i say or do, she wants to cut herself loose from me, and has her mind made up, so it is really fools play for me to continue to put myself out there and try to talk her into seeing the reality.
i am sure that you are telling the true side of the story, but you won't get her to see it that way, and contacting her family is just gonna make it worse.
guys are also a lot different than girls, and i am sure that your husband isn't going to be dramatic about trying to get time from his friend, so take some cues from your husband and go with the flow.
your husband probably knows that his friend will contact him soon enough, and maybe then would be a time for you say what you have to say, but just don't think you should seek the opportunity out.
i hope this make sense and helps.
♥
2006-11-16 04:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on... if you try to get the truth out ...the relationship for sure won't get back to the way it was... she is going to deny asking you to take her the the guys house... give it time and maybe it will all blow over... if she was your true friend in time she may come around... move on... try to forget about... I know you feel like you need/have to defend yourself for her lying that you were trying to break up her marriage... let it be known that are trying to break them up, make it perfectly clear as often as you can, when asked or when your ever around her family... hold your head up and go on... this is about all you can do... like I said, she''l deny what ever scheme she had up her sleeve... sorry
2006-11-16 04:13:00 · answer #5 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personaly I think she did trust you very much to ask you such a quesion but i also think you should just let it go, I know it's not that easy but If she was a true friend she would not be acting like this... And if you are ment to be friends maybe one day she will talk to you again.. But people like that you can't just go running back to. Let it blow over for a little and just wait to see what happens.
2006-11-16 04:10:22 · answer #6 · answered by typhaniee0027 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously she has issues that have nothing to do with it. She may not want her husband to know what she was planning and figures that if you know, you might tell your husband and he may tell hers. This is her way of staying out of trouble because of what you know about her. Leave it and move on to better friends.
2006-11-16 04:08:55 · answer #7 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My opinion probable isn't the terrific one yet i'm going to offer it a shot. consistent with threat she has executed something to break you and you have no longer found out yet and she or he would not prefer to communicate to you anymore by way of fact she has a foul wakeful. in case you particularly prefer to stay acquaintances together with her, then call her one final time and enable her understand the way you sense and if she would not answer in simple terms go away a voice-mail explaining it. If she would not return your call then go away or no longer it particularly is. pass directly to extra helpful acquaintances who deserve a while and appreciate. good success!
2016-10-22 04:57:26 · answer #8 · answered by connely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her what she does is her own business, and that unless it's hurting her kids (Current or future) you're not going to blow the whistle on her (Which is what she is afraid of, and why she has gone on the offfensive)...
But your not going to help her commit Adultury.
And that you miss your friendship.
-HtJ
2006-11-16 04:09:43 · answer #9 · answered by hesterthehester 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
drop it like a hot potato
2006-11-16 04:12:51 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋