How do you communicate with people who are beneath you?

Question

I don't know how else to pose this question without sounding like a pretentious jerk, because I am very considerate of others. In fact I think of others before I think of myself.

Anyway, I often find myself socializing with people who I consider inferior to me in regards to intellect, morality, principles, outlooks on life etc... Of course I don't consider my views to be the authority on what is superior, and I know that people are different. However I find myself "toning down" my figure of speech, mannerisms, attitude, etc.. in order to "fit in" with the group. To some of you this may seem as though I am being fake or putting up a facade. But I always stay true to what I believe, I just simplify it thats all because I do not want to offend. It's a very delicate balance.

Some of you may suggest that I just need to get some new friends. However I like the ones that I have, they are just simple-minded. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a child.

Mixed answers, mostly negative. Thanks for the input though. Here is a scenario of a typical day in my life:

P-rock: "yo wat up my ni$$a what's popping?"
Me: "chillin, how you son?"
P-rock: "I be aight, u know, gotta get that paper, gotta eat."
me: "word"
p-rock: "ni$$a u know how I do, I live fo the money and the hos"
me(trying to kick some sense): "yo my man that aint what life is all about you know"
Prock: "wat the fck you talkin bout ni$$a, I'm out fo that paper and them ho's what else is there?"
me: "aight man whateva, just letting you know there's more to life than that"
prock: yeah yeah professor (my nickname)whateva you say, lets go hit these chickenheadz up real quick
me: "aight lets bounce.

Answer 1

wow, I know exactly what your talking about. I'm not saying that i'm better but what i'm saying is that i've been told from people in my neighborhood who are mostly black and spanish, They always have said since i was young you don't "act black" and you don't "talk black". They say " you know how you are your booshy"
The stories i can tell you from what they think they know about me.

Sometimes change how i speak, act to fit in sometimes and its not beneath me its just different. I'm just toning it down
Takes one to know one.

Answer 2

You know what? I'll be honest. I have felt that way myself at times before. I have a few acquaintances who are not really equal with me in terms of education, socioeconomic status, and life experience, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't present a bit of a gap in communication. I find it hard to relate to some people because they have problems and situations I've never even come close to having. however, I do think that everyone can learn from each other as long as we communicate in terms everyone can understand. That's why I don't think it's bad or wrong that you try to maybe tone down the academic or intellectual talk when you are hanging out with your friends of differing backgrounds, because I find that when I do sometimes use large vocabulary words or expressions that may not be immediately familiar to people who haven't been exposed to all the same advantages I have, they tend to not always understand what I say, or they feel that I'm being sort of "uppity" and am trying to show off or something, which I assure you, I'm not. Also, I don't know if you ever had this experience, but I sometimes feel like a great big dork when I say something that everyone else in the room doesn't get, like if I make a literary reference or dry ironic joke that nobody else gets because they don't know what I'm talking about, then I feel like the odd woman out, like I don't fit in. My advice to you is to stay true to yourself, while being prepared to explain anything that might be lost on your audience, and remember to look past academic and intellectual differences and see the talents your friends do possess, because we all have different gifts. I think it's good that you have friends who act more "simple," as you put it, because if all your friends were brainy intellects with perfect English grammar and proper mannerisms all the time, you'd probably feel like you're on a never-ending episode of Frasier or something, and you might not ever get to have the fun I bet you have with your friends. However, if you also want to try to make some additional friends who share your interests and intellectual pursuits, then you could have the best of both worlds.

Answer 3

How do you communicate with people who are beneath you? I wish I could tell you but I am still trying to figure out how to communicate with you. I'm sure everyone here feels the same way.

I'm sure you think us rednecks on yahoo just don't understand what you are saying here. Words like facade? Oh my, what could that mean? I am so beneath you!

You are absolutely ridiculous! I don't think YOU need to get new friends. I think your friends need to find someone that isn't so superficial and callous. You are not better than anyone. You are stuck up. Everyone is an equal, whether or not they graduated high school or went to college. By the way, are you a jerk all of the time or just sporadically? God loves all of us and it has nothing to do with the fact that I know what sporadically means!

Answer 4

I have a very good friend thats like you. He is no more intelligent, intellectual, or anything else than I am, I have more education from a schooling standpoint than he does. but if you were to speak with the two of us, you would think he was. He has a bigger vocabulary than I do and therefore he shows to be smarter. I think you need to quit putting yourself on a pedestal, and think about the fact that you might be better at some things, but they have talents you don't. Im sure of that!

Answer 5

You sound very intelligent. I don't know how old you are, but things will change on their own in time.
If you attend college one day you will find a whole new group of friends that will be more like you because they too will be taking the same classes you are!
Both of my children are college graduates and I am so proud of both of them. It wasn't easy, but it the hard lessons in life that make us who we are.
My son especially changed his whole group of friends from when he was in HS, now he doesn't care to see them at all because he moved on and improved his life while they stayed exactly where they are today.
I would advise all kids to attend college because it helps sculpt you into the adult people will respect including yourself. You never know what you can do until you try.
My motto is never say never. Move on with your life. Take higher courses in HS. You will be able to be yourself.
If you can't be yourself around your "friends", maybe you have advanced where they have not.
Hope this helps.

Answer 6

I feel the best thing you can do is to be patient. If it seems like you are functioning at a higher level than they are, you are probably right. Not everyone can call themselves "deep thinkers" or "intellectuals." If you truly care about the circle you associate yourself with, then sit back and relax. It's possible that your impatience may be getting to you and giving you these feelings that can be mentally destructive. Once again, if they really matter to you as friends, then you'll be understanding and let it all just roll off your back.

Answer 7

Well if you like your friends, why does it matter. Like you said people are different with different personalities, you must like your friends personalities. You may even like the fact that you are above your friends. Some people need to feel special in that way. All I'm saying is their is a reason why you hang out with those type of people. You have to figure that out for yourself.

Answer 8

Changeing your ways of looking at others seems to be the only obstical in your way.

There's always those who can always find a class of people whom they believe are beneath them. BUT that's only true in their own minds.

I'm glad your always there to help others. Try joining to being a volunteer for the Red Cross, or Habitate for Humanity. If you do, I think you might start thinking less of people whom you feel are beneath you.

Answer 9

I know how you feel my best friend has the metality of an 11 year old (even though we are 18) it's sad but true and i wouldn't trade her being my friend for anything she is like my sister just be true to yourself maybe you will help them grow or you moght out grow them you never can tell.

Answer 10

They may seem simple minded at first but some will fool you. I try to figure out what their interests and hobbies are. If we have something in common then that's great otherwise I try to let them lead the conversation.