Most of my questions asked have been pertaining to this matter. (See my archive of questions) BUT ANYWAY, my soon to be ex is home......our divorce hearing is in May. Though I still have love/feelings for my soon to be ex, I will be there in May to end this.
As stated in the question title, while he was away, his cousin and I found ourselves enraptured with one another, and because my marriage was a horrible one, and my soon to be exhusband is not a pleasant or respectable person.........the relationship with his cousin, which started out innocently as ONLY friends, and occasional conversation.....eventually budded into love, admiration, appreciation, etc. Though now that my soon to be ex is back home, he has no idea about his cousin and I.
The first few days were rocky, but now we are able to talk, and be civil. There are still occasional arguments......but more than that is the INTENSE physical attraction we have always shared. I have actually had 'sessions' with him twice --
2006-11-16 03:23:52 · 6 answers · asked by lilac b 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the cousin/boyfriend knows of my cheating on him (the cousin/boyfriend) but my soon to be ex still does not know that the man I was seeing....(AM seeing) is his cousin.
Problem is, I have told my soon to be ex that I am still going to get the divorce. BUT I am still very attracted to him, and I do still love him, I just know that we can NOT remain married as husband and wife, because he is not ready for such responsibility.
His cousin, IS. Treats me marvelously. Is more patient than anything I've ever experienced. And he should have been the one I married, but we met after his cousin, my husband, and I were married.
ANYWAY.....I'm stuck. I told the boyfriend that I am torn between the two, but overall, long term he is the best choice, but these damn feelings for my husband won't go away. And when we are together, we are all over each other.
I have stopped having sex with the boyfriend (though he doesn't know the exact reason). My husband wants me to take time, get my head
2006-11-16 03:27:46 · update #1
together, KEEP OUR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP, and learn to trust him enough to come back to him.
I am torn in half........and I know this is dangerous.....I don't want to LITERALLY get torn in half if the husband finds out about who the other man is........or if the boyfriend finds out that I am NOT just with the husband to discuss the kids. =(
Help!
And by the way, I have a COUNSELING appointment today. I just need some MORE input. HELP!!!!!
2006-11-16 03:29:33 · update #2
All I have to say is..JERRY JERRY JERRY....LOL..j/k
I really can't say much about the cousin thing I dated a set of TWINS before without eachof them knowing..unfortunaltey I'm quite proud of that. But anyways, if youre husband isn't ready to commit then dont force him to..I say go ahead with the divorce men will usually change when they are threatened to be left, so your husband knows he's fixing to be (NEXTED) and he's going to be perfect for a while. On to the cousin, who sounds more mature than the husband, the way i see it is..they come from the same TREE..maybe it will be like this for now do you really think he's going to be the same better. I would suggest finding somone of a different last name even..just look around play the fields do be traped in a one huge love triangle..Good luck..
2006-11-16 03:40:30 · answer #1 · answered by ~* Pink Princess *~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy oh boy, what a tangled web we weave. I don't think you really know what you want. You seem to be playing both of them as you are really cheating on them both. I think what you really need to do is just get a divorce with your husband first and live alone for awhile and get your life in order. You can't love both of these guys the way you say that you do. That is not true love by no means. While you are living alone learn what true love really does mean and what it is all about before you get into another relationship with someone else.
2006-11-16 04:01:22 · answer #2 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me, in spite of the difficulties you've been having with your soon-to-be-ex (STB-EX), as if you don't want to give up either. You need to talk to both of them about how you feel about them individually. You also need to be honest with the cousin that there still is a strong attraction to your (current) husband.
Lies, deceit, dishonest will make both relationship sour. If your going to live with your STB-EX until May and you still are attracted to him then, at least, he needs to know that you are seeing other people besides having sex with him. the cousin needs to know that your STB-EX isn't entirely out of the picture.
if there is anger, an more between your STB-EX and you and that could escalate, then you need to leave, now. No matter what the hardship or show him the door. Or if you believe he is a reasonable man, underneath the emotions then you need to be honest with him.
If you don't break thing off completely with your STB-EX or be honest with both of them things will spiral down quickly and dangerously.
On the other hand. if you are completely honest with both of them and they are accepting (though few people are) you may end up with a long term relationship with both of them, but the both have to know.
check out:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
But be careful and gentle if you bring this up with both of them. My guess is that if both of them truly love you and you love them both a polyamorous answer is best. Otherwise, pick one and move on.
2006-11-16 03:37:11 · answer #3 · answered by jryanwinterhaven 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
rfile any variety of threat or harassment. meaning in spite of if he does not have sufficient info, he will have on record that this guy is making an attempt to put in a place wherein he would desire to would desire to shelter himself. maximum of all tell your cousin to no longer permit himself to be set up or put in a place and if he's attempt to no longer have a actual disagreement - perfect he run off than be put in penal complex or die. If he's able to hold mutually sufficient info in comparison individual he can get an order of protection and if the guy defies the order - well being "Mr surprising guy" isn't required.
2016-10-15 15:19:28 · answer #4 · answered by wheeington 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go for it girl..... if you like the cousin date him and whatever. As long as you are happy that is all that matters
2006-11-16 03:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by Kayla P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are playing with fire.
2006-11-16 03:26:51 · answer #6 · answered by shonnie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋