Me and my boyfriend broke up recently, but still talked. Well not he says he needs time alone to think and he is not sure he wants to work things out. I found out I was pregnant the day after he said this. I told him and he wants me to have an abortion and does not want to get back together. Before he told me he didn't believe in abortion and kinda wanted a child. I am confused and don't know what to do. Any suggestions? I love him and want a family, I already raised one child on my own.
2006-11-16 03:20:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
well do u what u think is right... i had the same problem almost exacticly! i stood my ground and had my baby boy, now me and his father have been together for almost four years. dont let him get in the way of making a big decision like this. u should do what u want and because of the fact he was against abortion beofre u got pregnant makes me think that he will come back to be a good father. just make sure u have yourlsef situated and everything and talk to him about your opionions, and what you want to do. ask him serious questions like "do u really want to kill this baby, because we are having problems?" things like that to find out where he really stands. im sure everything will work out fine....
2006-11-16 03:27:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to sit here and tell you that u should or shouldn't get an abortion. It is a personal choice. What i will tell you is that i got one 2 years ago and it was the worse thing that i have ever done. In feb i found out i was pregnant again, and i promised myself that i wouldn't have anther abortion. When i had it the first time it messed me up emotional as well as physically. I wouldn't eat, had a hard time sleeping, cried all the time. I decided to go to counseling. That helped a lot. Ijust had my baby 3 weeks ago and i love that little boy more than life itself. There is nothing i wouldn't do for him to be happy. That is a tough decision to make. As far as being broke, you can start to put money away. Change your spending habits. There are ways around any situation. Don't let the father determine weather u should have the child or not. It is YOUR decision. You are the only one that will have to leave with the consequences. Good luck and make the decision that is right for you, not for anyone else.
2006-11-16 03:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by omarion's mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So many levels to deal with here.
First, if you're not in the best financial position to have a baby, you shouldn't have been having unprotected sex to begin with. Now, regardless of which route you choose to take (keep the baby or abortion), things are going to get much more expensive.
Next, if you plan on keeping the baby and are unable to patch things up with your boyfriend, he still has a financial obligation to help you support that child. If he doesn't assist willingly, then you'll need to file a paternity suit against him. The courts will see to it that he pays his fair share afterwards.
If you plan on having an abortion, then there are financial concerns here as well, though I'm not sure what obligations he has with assistance on this end. Perhaps someone better versed in the law can cover this part. Beyond the financial costs of the procedure, there will also be recovery time for your body and possibly emotional ramifications depending on your views toward abortion.
2006-11-16 03:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the child. Children are a blessing. You already have one, so you can raise them together. Can you imagine killing your grown up child? It is the same to kill the other one too. When he actually sees the child he might want to have something to do with all of you. But even if he doesn't, you can claim that he supports the child and that he recognises it, because now DNA tests can prove who the father is. At least in Greece a father cannot get away with leaving his pregnant girlfriend!
And don't let anyone tell you to have an abortion. It is not their decision, especially not the father's!You obviously want this baby.
2006-11-16 03:30:56 · answer #4 · answered by cpinatsi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men will say anything to get laid, including that they want a family. I think you would be better off if you have an abortion. In the future you will look back and be glad you did.
Are you really ready to have another baby with no support from the father? Another baby from a different daddy? What happens if you find the right man for you and get married and have another baby? Then you will 3 children all from different fathers.... that isn't good. Is the father of this child someone you wnat to deal with the rest of your life??
Can you financially, physically, and emotionally afford to support another child on your own??? What ever you choose to do....be thankful that the choice is out there for you to make. You are not a bad person for thinking about getting an abortion. Millions of women have the procedure done yearly. Consider it for your future.
2006-11-16 03:30:00 · answer #5 · answered by minnesotafrozen2000 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Try to communicate with the father some more. If he is unwilling to support the child or yourself in any way then you are left to decide what is right for your life right now. Take into consideration what you have been through raising your first child and go from there. You can't make a man be a daddy. My last child's father has never been supportive and things didn't change when she was born. I am loving her for two parents and I know that one day she will want to know her dad. At that point it will be up to him to either step up or hurt her feelings. Either way I will continue to support her and love her. It is a tough choice. I hope you will seek support no matter what you decide.
2006-11-16 03:28:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the decision for yourself. Do you want the baby with or without him? If so, go ahead with it and give him the opportunity to be involved if he changes his mind again. It sounds like your relationship was failing and having a baby does not miraculously fix your other problems - so if you are approaching having the baby as a way to keep him, it most likely won't work and you may end up resenting the baby because it didn't save your relationship. So like I said decide if you personally want the child to raise alone. Don't factor mr. wishy washy into it.
2006-11-16 03:27:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happy to say im 16 with 2 kids and pregnant with twins on the way. Yes i know im young but i dont regret having them. I did it. I had my boyfriend by my side which mada a huge difference economically. He is a full time parent. But you know what if he were to leave me i coud go along with my kids. I love them to death and for them i would do anything. You can do it. You dont need a guy to raise a child. You have arm and legs you can support the child and give him the love of a mother. Good luck
2006-11-16 03:25:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have an abortion. Same thing happened to me 4 yrs ago. I had one and i could not have made a better choice. If you cant handle that, opt for putting up for adoption. Nothing better than a healthy planned pregnancy when you are ready and can give it a loving mom AND dad.
2006-11-16 03:33:34 · answer #9 · answered by kazzyhighst 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not get an abortion because that is what he wants. If that is what you want, then fine. But under no circumstances should you get one because that is what your ex-boyfriend (or anyone else) wants. You will live in regret then. I wouldn't bother trying to get back together with him. He will only leave again. If you raised one, you can do it again. That's best advice I can give, I hope it helps. You can emial me if you want/need someone to talk to. Best wishes. Take care.
2006-11-16 03:29:40 · answer #10 · answered by raintigar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋