don't think friends are being truthful- urgent!?

Question

okay, my friends are great and i really like them, but they dont tell me much, and they usaully start whispering to each other about something they refuse to tell me about. i ask them why they wont tell me, and they say they dont need to tell me everything. then some of them start being really spiteful, unless i am giving them food or something. i dont know what to do, and i think they all like eachother more than they like me. help!!!

Answer 1

find new friends, it sounds like it the start of bulling.

why would you want to be friends with people who make you feel uncomfortable. Hang out with people who treat you better.

Answer 2

First decide on friends one at a time, not in bunches. Next, decide what you are willing to live with and what you aren't. If someone is doing something that you don't like, that may be annoying but you have to decide if its worth ending the relationship or is there something about that person that is good enough that you want to remain friends with them. If you do, then forgive their faults since you won't really be able to change them, but you should assert that you don't like it when they do that thing that annoys you.

You should evaluate these friends one by one like that until you figure out who thinks there is something great about you that they will accept you even if you do things that annoy them. These will be your true friends because you can be yourself, and they will love you for that, and you will feel the same about them. If you find that none of these current people really qualify, then you just need to expand your horizons and find some new friends (gradually).

Answer 3

I'm really sorry to read this. I know how you feel. When I was in junior high I went through the same thing, and I know it is horrible. I'll tell you what I did.
I used to feel so excluded when they whispered between each other, so I simply ignored them, and pretended I wasn't listening. Gradually, I started to let go, they used to play together and have their 'private' parties, I just didn't care (or at least, tried to). I tried to make new friends and let go of my other friends.
My methods worked. It wasn't easy, it was very tough to see them sharing secrets and things, but at the end this made me stronger and eventually they realised they were being idiots, but by that time, I was too detached to care about them.
So don't let this bring you down, hold on in there!

Answer 4

I understand that very well. I had a group of friends like that once. Ditch them now before you feel lonely amongst them. How can you even trust them about anything that you say to them if they are like that towards you. You need a friend that should be comfortable with you. They don't have to tell you everything, but you also shouldn't feel alienated around them. Leave them now, don't worry about who you'll be friends with next. Friends come and go. We just learn to make better ones each time. You'll see, you'll have some good and honest friends. Even just one, that would probably be even better that a group.

All the best!!

Answer 5

Well sorry to break the news but it sounds like they are only friends with you if they get something out of you eg food or money. They wouldn't be whispering and keeping secrets deliberately in front of you if they were friends (this is called bullying by the way). Go get yourself some new mates as this lot sound like a right bunch of ar*eholes.

Answer 6

Why did not you really ask no.a million to bypass with you to no. 2's living house? If she says no, tell no.a million you'll extremely bypass to no.2's. you're only going to piss no.a million off even as they discover out the truth! Drama for no reason....you're going to lose no.a million as a pal in case you keep it up.

Answer 7

Sounds like they're all in junior high! That's exactly how immature people act. A little teasing can be fun, but this is a little too much. If they're acting up like this, they're just wanting to look cool in front of all their friends, not wanting to expose their real feelings. It's a way to protect themselves from riducule, which happens quite a bit in kids that age. I would say that you need to find people who know how to act their age, and hang out with them. You won't be losing anything, and might just give a few of them the courage to pull away with you. It could go either way. They could totally ignore you too, so you risk being labeled as stuck up or some other stupid remark. Just remember...everything is temporary. Most of them will grow up and out of this stage. Some won't. The fact that you're disturbed by their behavior shows you're already outgrowing their stupidity and want no part of it. If giving them food is the only way to keep them close, I would say that they are no friends of yours. Even a wild animal will come to get food, but it doesn't mean they won't turn on you. I would just start spending less time with them, and more time with my books. In the end, you'll prosper more for it. There might be some kids who have been looking to be your friend, but were turned off by the ones you are hanging with. The company we keep tells others a lot about who we are and what we'll accept for ourselves. If we hang with losers...if we hang with druggies...if we hang with bullies...and so on. I'm not saying you're any of these, but it tells other people that you accept those who you hang with and agree with their actions. By your comments, I take it that you don't agree with these "friends". They are NOT friends. At least, none YOU want to call friends. Time to gracefully move on. If they ask you why you're not hanging with them anymore, tell them you're tired of their games. Being honest is the only way you MAY be able to change their attitudes. If they know why you're turned off, they MIGHT change. The might not. You're not responsible for who they want to be. But you ARE responsible for how you want others to see you. Your actions speak louder than anything you could ever say. <*)))><

Answer 8

Honey, it sounds like your friends are being beotches, no offence meant by that! I would find some more. If you don't want to do that, I would have a talk with them and tell them how you feel, and that they are being hurtful.

It doesn't sound like they are being very nice to you! You should feel comfortable in the company of friends. You should also feel like you are making a contribution to the group. This could end up really hurting your self-esteem if you let it carry on.....

Answer 9

They sound like really nasty people? Why are girlfriends sometimes like that? What they are whispering about probably isn't that interesting anyway so just leave them to it. Take my advice and find some people who are worthy of your company. It sounds like the are using you if they are only nice to you when you give them something, so I'd steer well clear, you don't need people like them. Find some new mates!!!

Answer 10

You sound like a very kind, caring and sensitive person who doesn't need to tolerate the behaviour that your friends are exhibiting. Dump them, and consider it a lesson learnt that not everyone you'll encounter during your life is meant to be a friend.

Answer 11

ditch these guys, you dnt want them making you paranoid all the time and if they cant be your mate with out you giving them food then who are these people?

seriously you dont need to buy your friends, theres plenty out there begging for them...

on the other hand they could be planning a suprise xmas/birthday gift for you...

but go with your gut instincs and try find some other friends to hang out with, never chase people unless they are worht thte chase and you know they would do the same for you...

im not being mean to them or you but i had this problem, my mates would start wispering about me behind my back and when i was with her she would ***** about one of my other mates behind her back.. iv left that group now and they got expelled for fighting! lol, but seriously take a step back...

hope that helps...
xxx