I have been married to my husband for 4 years and have been faithful. He is serving a life sentence and may never come home. I love him, but I am very lonely and need companionship. I am all he has in his life. I know that if I divorce him he will be destroyed. What should I do? Compartmentalize my life? I don't want to be out of his life, I just need more than he can give me. It is all so confusing and I don't want to hurt him. Give me input please.
2006-11-16 02:39:54 · 26 answers · asked by Sue P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I need to obviously add some things to my details due to some of the responses. It shows me that people on the outside truly don't know the facts of prison life or a prison relationship. My husband does not "get the weiner" he is in 24 hour a day isolation. He is also wrongfully convicted and is still in appeals. We don't have an "empty relationship". If we could have the physical and the at home time together, he would be the perfect man. He's emotionally supportive, loves our daughter. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I truly don't know what to do, this is very serious to me. I love him but need companionship. Please don't respond with hurtful answers. This is difficult enough. I need supportive input not hateful things said about my husband. I have been faithful for 4 years and don't want him out of my life. Thank you.
2006-11-16 02:57:53 · update #1
I wish that I could tell you that there was an easy answer but the truth is that this is a very difficult problem. You cant stay with your husband and be faithful and also have companionship that you desire. I dont know what the crime was but if the sentence is life and he is in isolation then the "appeals" may never come through. You need to face the fact that you may very well be alone for the rest of your life. You need to decide if you want to spend life waiting on "stolen" moments or if you would like to move ahead and be happy. Obviously you arent happy or you wouldnt be searching for these answers. Only you can answer
2006-11-16 03:26:01 · answer #1 · answered by nascargirl216 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be open with him about how you feel. If he is serving a life sentence then you need to be able to be happy without him. He is paying a price for something he did and you should not have to suffer for his mistake. Tell him you are unhappy and you will be his friend, but you need to move on with your life. He should understand because it is ludicrous to ask someone to put their life on hold for a person that committed a crime bad enough for a life sentence. I know that you never intended for this to happen to your life, but he should not have been so selfish to put you in this situation. I don't know what he did, but you don't get a life sentence for a speeding ticket hun. Move on, get your own life and make him think about what he did.
2006-11-16 02:47:04 · answer #2 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, because he cannot give you anything more in life, and you need someone so move on, because it is better to hurt him once then being sad your whole life about how your husband is. Make him understand that. Don't worry about hurting him becasue if he really was a criminal, becasue then he would deserve it, but he was not you have to be nice and make him explain that you need a good life for yourself and he loves you he will let you do this because he should want good for you.
2006-11-16 02:47:00 · answer #3 · answered by The Calculus Alchemist 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When your husband committed a crime that warranted a life sentence, do you think he gave any consideration to you and your future circumstance?
The fact that he committed and was convicted of a very serious crime is a big, big, clue. Now he is using the situation that he created to make you feel guilty and control your life.
Divorce him and get on with your life, did he hurt your feelings by placing himself in a position to go to prison for life?
2006-11-16 02:48:42 · answer #4 · answered by jack w 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look you need to have discreet sex with a man. There is no need for you to burden your husband with this. He has enough problems on his mind. What you need to do is find someone who will be as discreet as you so the kids or anyone else will not know about this. If you like you can contact me and I will see if I can be of service to you.
2006-11-16 04:01:25 · answer #5 · answered by unionjack07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband already destroyed his life when he committed a crime that got him locked up for the rest of his existence.
You, however, have no reason to live your life alone.
Find yourself someone that can be with your everyday and actually share your life with you.
2006-11-16 02:44:44 · answer #6 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
http://prisontalk.com/forums/index.php
Go there.
There are literally thousands of members who understand your situation and a whole forum devoted entirely to the special issues faced by those of us who love a lifer.
Prisontalk has been a godsend to me and I'm sure you'll find the support and perspective you need there.
Good luck.
2006-11-16 05:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life Sentence? That should answer your question surely. He is obviously not in prison for nicking some sweets from the local shop!! Staying with him would mean a life for you with lonely nights, no babies, nothing!!
Get a divorce, he wasn’t thinking about you when he committed the crime!!
2006-11-16 02:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sweetie u sound like a good women for even being with him. was he in there when u married him? anyway i think that u should tell him how u feel. maybe u just need a good friend to do things with. or is it that u need sex? if thats the case u should get a divorce first prolly. but the heart is a very messed up thing at times so just be careful. an good luck!!!!!
2006-11-16 02:48:58 · answer #9 · answered by queenbee 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a hard questions to answer. You have to look at do you want to spend the rest of your life alone or with another person.
2006-11-16 02:42:55 · answer #10 · answered by andyramvzb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋