here's the situation.. me and this guy named Derrick been together 4 six months n he tells me i cant get a job..tells me what 2 wear ..and who to talk to..I'm not allowed to talk to the other sex.. what do i do? He told me he's been with 4 other girls b4 me and now at the 5th month he told me he is a VIRGIN! What do i do?! He lives in NC n i used to live there but them i moved to MD and he payed 120 dollars 4 a plane. Then I'm about to go to NC 4 Thanksgiving. Then 2wks. after Thanksgiving me n Derrick r going to move into our own apt. is this the rite thing to do can i get some advice!
2006-11-16 02:39:36 · 15 answers · asked by kellie n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Get rid of the loser before it's to late.
2006-11-16 02:41:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know what to do. But I also know it helps when someone confirms it. You already have doubts don't go. The virgin thing shouldn't be a big deal but the controlling behavior is a big issue! You are lucky to find this out b4 hand. Take this as a major sign and drop this relationship. chances are it can get worse once you move in together. TRUST is a major factor in a relationship! If he is not giving you that from the beginning you won't ever gain it. Do you really want to live like that? Wish you the best of luck
2006-11-16 02:55:44 · answer #2 · answered by Janet F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to get a job, pick your own clothes , or talk to any other males , then go for it. But if you feel controlled, then you need to set some clear boundries NOW! He can't read your mind, so tell him what you are feeling and if he blows you off, then you know how it will be with him. Don't move in because you think you can change him either. Little problems now will become huge problems when you live together. Resolve these issues now.
2006-11-16 02:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by moose on the loose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kellie, Kellie, Kellie ... We don't have to tell you what to do here. You have your answer in your question. You obviously don't like his possessiveness or you wouldn't have asked. You know the right thing to do is to leave now. If he is in NC and you are in MD then you need to cut off all communication with him. When you don't show up in NC for T-giving then he will get the idea. $120 is not alot for him to lose when he treats you like he does. If you move in with him it will only get worse and could, probably would, turn into physical abuse. You have your life to live and his being a jerk about everything you do is not the life you want.
Get smart, look into yourself and you will find the courage to stand up and fight him on this.
If you want to chat about it IM me.
2006-11-16 03:34:11 · answer #4 · answered by Doug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has insecurity and control issues. He needs to overcompensate for his own feelings on inadequacy by dominating and isolating you. This is a textbook sign of future physical abuse.
Are you so desperate and needy that you are willing to continue to allow him to treat you like this?
Wouldn't it feel better to be with a guy who treated you so well that you found yourself bragging about how great he is?
Investing in this relationship is makes about as much sense as buying shoes that are three sizes too small.....
Dump the loser and find a guy who is a better fit, a guy who has more confidence and trust in you and respect for you.
Bad idea about moving in with a loser like that. Things will only get worse, not better. Do NOT enter into a legally binding contract, such as a lease on an apartment. If you want to move out, you will still be legally responsible for your share of the rent, and it WILL hold up in court.
Why would you even want to be with a guy who acted as if he thought so little of you and does not have any trust or respect for you?
My advice is that you raise your standards in men and never allow yourself to be regulated by any man.
2006-11-16 02:49:59 · answer #5 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear you know already this is a BAD move...If he is already so possessive what do you think he will be like after you have moved in together.. You are not a piece of baggage, and he has NO right to treat you or tell you what you can do and where you can go... If you enjoy that kind of control over you then he's the one.. But history shows it only gets WORSE.......
2006-11-16 02:42:38 · answer #6 · answered by tmjf461 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't move into an apt. with him. Keep a small distance until you two decide on marriage. Try to develop something that works...make sure you tell him you don't like the way he's treating you (at times). Just negotiate, and if he doesn't agree just MOVE ON!!! he's not the right guy for you...Couples need to function as a unity ya know
2006-11-16 02:43:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please dont do it, he is lying and creating a web of deciet. It will only get worse. Whether or not he is a virgin or has had previous partners is not the point he is lying and that is wrong.
Also the possesivness will only get worse once you live with him. he cant tell you to not get a job or not talk to any guys.
Trust me on this I speak from experience he is bad news!
Also I think deep down you know that otehrwise you wouldnt be writing this message on here. You should talk to your friends/family and see if they think you've changed, you'll prob find they think you have.
Pls get out!!
however much you think you love him you will find someone better
2006-11-16 02:45:05 · answer #8 · answered by hopper13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving in with him would be the wrong thing to do.
This could lead to spending the rest of your life "under his thumb" and under his control.
Tell him to hit the road running and not to look back!
Cancel any plans you have of seeing him or visiting him.
If he's this bad now, telling what you can and can't wear and who you can and can't speak to, what's he going to be like two years from now?
I was in this kind of relationship before and it turned ugly quickly. Came to physical blows. It was a draw between us, and I didn't go to the hospital alone, but if I'd have just saw the signs before hand, I would've avoided the whole nasty situation and moved on with my life.
Makes me wish I'd have known about places like this back when it was happening so people could tell me it was time to run for the hills.
2006-11-16 02:43:19 · answer #9 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you guys are moving into an apartment together, but you can't work, so who's paying for the apartment, is he rich?? No one should ever tell you what you can and can't wear, or who you can and can't talk to!!! Get out now before it's too late and he trys telling you that you can't leave him, it will happen! He's a virgin my a$$!
2006-11-16 02:46:10 · answer #10 · answered by ?born2lose? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possessiveness, interior the experience of being concerned and watching for loyalty, is high-quality. Possessiveness will become undesirable whilst it there is too plenty, and you start up off transforming into jealous of each 2d that your companion isn't with you. it is likewise undesirable in case you start up off treating them like sources, like in case you dont appreciate them, their time, and their very own hobbies and existence.
2016-12-10 10:09:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋