Should I move out of state?

Question

My boyfriend is active military and stationed in another state. We are talking and would like to live together. I am nervous about leaving my home and starting over, you know doctors, schools, all of the things I am used to. We are in a committed serious relationship. He also will be deployed again soon, this summer. I love the area where he is at and I know that we will be together because we have made it through one deployment already, and even though we are 5 hours drive from each other, we still see each other every weekend he is in the US. It is getting expensive to travel all the time however. We have an absolute blast together and we were friends way before he did the military thing, but I guess I am wondering if it's going to be hard. Anyone had any experience with this? He will probably continue with deployments, etc., but even though its hard I love this man so much I can't imagine not having him in my life.....any advice?

Additionally, we are in our 30's, I have a daughter who is 16, and we are both financially stable. I make a great income, and have been on my own for awhile. We have been together for a year, and great friends for 2. I feel like I know what I want and I know he is clear on what he wants out of life. In other words, we have seen and done a few things in life I guess. His service is up in 2009. I grew up a military brat and nothing that happens really suprises me. Thanks for all your responses!! Having outside opinions help. My family all think I should go, like last week even. They love him too!!

Answer 1

If you really want to live where he is at sure go for it. Make some plans though. Talk to him and set a date for the move. Then next time you visit do some job hunting. Try to line up employment to start shortly after your move date. You'll feel more secure about the situation if you're not completely reliant on him. Good luck!

Answer 2

One thing you can't avoid in the military is time apart. My father would go away for 6 months at a time sometimes for warrant officer training. It takes a very strong, faithful and dedicated woman to do this.

No one is going to really be able to answer these questions except you. Don't rush into it. You don't mention how long you've been dating, but if it's anything less than a couple of years, I would strongly suggest you proceed with caution. You also don't mention how old you and the boyfriend are. If you haven't had time to live life a little before settling down, you should give serious thought to what you want to do by when. You mention school. What are your goals in life? How is his time in the military going to affect your goals? How is moving possibly every 3 years going to affect your goals? How transferable are the credits for whatever degree you're trying to achieve? A relationship is two people - His goals matter, and so do yours. His life matters, and so does yours. Do your goals mesh or clash? Do you fight about things like money, individual goals, etc? A relationship is always going to have it's rocky patches, regardless of your respective professions.

You come across like your head and heart are in the right places but still seem like you want to live life a little bit. I'm not trying to be insulting or rude, just commenting from an outside perspective.

Answer 3

First of all, can you both afford this. He cannot get money to use for a place to live if you are not married. Military Pay is not alot so you may have to get a job also where you two want to live. Yes, I did do this along time ago myself. You should think this over good before making a choice of what to do.

Answer 4

If the two of you love each other like you say you do why not wait until the war is over and his duty station is more permanent,then pursue the relationship from there.