is my mom interfering in my marraige or im i wrong?

Question

iam a 32 year old woman and i just got married on may 25, 2006.
my mother was not happy from the get go when i finally got married and moved out on my own. when im having problems with my husband or disagreement which are not very serious ones it seems like my mother always knows when we get into a
disagreement. iam married and grown now and i learn
to take care of my own problems and responsibilities and
i dont go to my mother with my maritial problems because
she has her own problems. my husband and i alway work them
out. but it seems that every time we have ups and downs
my mother comes into my room and hounds me about
whats going on between us, she puts her two cents in
not know what our situation is and i always listen to
my mother and confront my husband on account of
what she is putting into my head. now my husband
dosent want to have anything to do with me because
i accursed him of something my mother put in my head.
im i wrong or what?

Answer 1

I think it's natural that your mom would be concerned about your relationship, especially if you two are close.

On another note, remember that a marriage is between a wife and a husband. In other words, your mom is not in that equation. Your vows and marriage license confirm that. Although it may be easy to share disagreements with your mother, choose to share your feelings with your husband instead.

I think you should sit down with your husband and (after apologizing) explain that you are adjusting to your new role as wife and are making efforts to do better with the mother/daughter/husband situation.

Good luck! :-)

Answer 2

You are correct, your mother is interfering with your marriage and your life. You can stand up to her, which would mean she may not talk to you for awhile, or you can put up with it. It will only get worse. You could move. You could inform your mother that if she is going to continue, she is not welcome in your home. You said she comes into your room? At your house, or hers? Marriages do have problems, even the best of them. The fact that you and your husband work yours out is good. As long as he isn't being abusive. She will drive a wedge between you and your husband if you allow this to continue. Then, she will tell you how right she was about the relationship.

Answer 3

Your right, your a grown woman now and you should be able to make decisions on your own. I know you love your mother but she's already made her mistakes in life and i know she's trying to keep you from making those same mistakes but unfortunately your mother didn't marry him you did and when someone tells you something that's just what it is talk. It's up to you to check things out and see with your own eyes and for yourself what comes next. Noone likes to be accused of anything and maybe you should have asked and not accused. This is one of those things you have to think and do your homework before you speak. Because you married this man, not your mother.

Answer 4

Hi. When you married your husband you took and oath to love and TRUST him. Mothers are great for advice WHEN ASKED but your husband is the man you chose for the rest of your life. I think you need to talk to your mom tell her to let you run your own marriage and if you need her you'll let her know. That way her feelings won't get too hurt. At the same time go to your husband, give him a big hug, and tell him that it is only you two in this marriage...talk to him! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

You sound like the one with problem, not your mother. She's naturally interested in her daughters life; mom's cant help that. You need to be the one to take control of what you do and don't reveal, both to your mother and husband. Keep your head on straight and don't be swayed by what anyone tells you.

Answer 6

I'm confused???? You are married and you and your husband have your own place, how does your mother get in to your room?

Besides that, you and your husband are a family now. Include your mother in your like, but keep the issues between your husband and you between youselves. Its up to you to set those boundries.

Answer 7

why are you 32 years old and allowing someone to put things into your head, You are a grown woman. You state that you don't tell her of your marital problems, but how can she put things into your head if you aren't sharing information. You know your husband better than anyone, listen to yourself and no one else, sometimes people have motives for "helping you".

Answer 8

Your mother comes into your room when you have problems? Does she live with you??? Tell your mother you do not want to discuss your marital problems with her. You will handle your marriage with your husband on your own. If she tries to interfere again, tell her you don't appreciate her interference, and leave the room!

Answer 9

Your mother although she loves you needs to stay out of your business. You are married now and getting involved with what goes on in your marriage is none of her business...You need to do things on your own..So what if you make a mistake along the way, thats how we become better people..You learn from your mistakes Ask your mom to please stay out of your marriage and everyone will get along.....You need to apologise to your husband and get your marriage back on track..Let mom deal with her own problems and you yours

Answer 10

Yes, she's interfering too much! Tell your mom how you really feel. I know that she cares for you but there are times when parents have to let go. And you're a grown, responsible woman. You don't need her for that anymore.