A close friend of mine went away for further studies.......she had a boyfriend who was also a close friend of mine.......the problem is we have gotten very close with this guy and maybe even done afew things that may be reserved for couples......the problem is I feel SO GUILTY........do you think its ok to continue or am I a real BAD FRIEND?
2006-11-16 01:24:00 · 13 answers · asked by sweetjan20 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
And you want a bunch of sometimes weird strangers to give you absolution? Talk to the One who does that sort of thing.
I've got a question for you--where is the requirement for exclusivity? Is he seeing other women? Then why not you? Is she seeing other guys? Then what is the barrier? If they were married or engaged or living together and she was just on a trip for a time, that implies an exclusive arrangement. Yes, you should feel bad about that.
There is this crazy piece of thinking that seems popular today. If party A is often, but not exclusively, with party B, then if party C gets together with party B, when party B is often seen with other parties, then party C should feel guilty of violating a trust to party A, when party B is the guilty philanderer. We see something similar in sports, two teams beat off all others in the playoffs and when the superbowl or world series or whatever is ended, the number two team is thought of as the world's worst loser when they are second-best above all others. You have a friend, party A, and you have a friend, party B. If A and B are married, yes, you helped B commit adultery and do feel guilty. But just friends? No.
2006-11-16 02:47:11 · answer #1 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer. Friends don't fool around with their friends' boyfers. The boyfriend is also in the wrong. Now that you've done it, are you going to continue to see him until she gets back? And when she returns, what then?
I think you need to come clean and tell your friend what you're doing and be prepared for her to kick your backstabbing butt to the curb. On the other hand, she may be moving on herself. One thing is for sure. The longer you go on lying, the worse it will be when the truth emerges.
2006-11-16 09:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Rob B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a classic case of when the cat is away the mouse will play. I am not sure how much respect you have for your friend if indeed you can call her that. You have betrayed your friend. There is no valid reason you can give for your wrong doing. You can still do something about it and that is to stop and ask for forgiveness.
2006-11-16 09:34:56 · answer #3 · answered by proelvispresley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you feel guilty - what you're doing is wrong. You are truly a bad friend. Obviously you don't feel too guilty, or you wouldn't be asking for opinions as to whether you should stop or not. You seem to want someone to validate what you're doing.
2006-11-16 09:31:41 · answer #4 · answered by Jan S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not a 'bad friend'...but at least have the decency to tell your friend what has happened. Tell her upfront because she undoubtedly will find out what has happened. If she truly is a friend of both of yours she deserves the truth. It'll be a difficult task to retain her friendship but you can't do it through lying. Lying has no place with friends.
2006-11-16 09:50:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you deserve to feel guilty, but you also deserve to think about the whole affair in a clear mind, and avoid your feelings of guilt for a moment, and you should decide what to do, as a matter of fact you should discuss it with this guy, he probably has a guilty feeling about it too.
2006-11-16 09:32:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know how she would react then you know your doing something wrong. Remember this same thing will happen too you, its called Karma. It might not happen right away, but one day you will feel how friendship and betrayal work.... This will be a hard lesson for you to learn.
2006-11-16 17:57:18 · answer #7 · answered by mylife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me see. I do not think that you are a bad friend at all. Things happen. You are the worst kind of friend to have.
Why did you go and do the filthy mac nasty with him. The two of you are made for each other. Don't care about anyone but yourselves.
2006-11-16 09:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're breaking her trust and stealing her boyfriend. What do you think? Sugarcoating a bad situation doesn't make it any less bad.
2006-11-16 15:40:05 · answer #9 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel guilty, then you KNOW that it is not ok to continue.
2006-11-16 09:59:35 · answer #10 · answered by kingstubborn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋