I know my bf loves me very much but he is VERY impulsive. He will do things without thinking at all about the consequences. Examples would be things like stealing and skipping work. This is the cause for alot of our fights.
Will this ever change (we are both 23)?
Or is it just who he is?
He said he wants to be able to control himself better but he doesnt know how....
2006-11-16 00:56:55 · 15 answers · asked by plenymo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is a good person, ive been with him a long time i know this and he has extreme guilt after he does these things... but he cannot control it, thanks dana, i didnt realize this was part of his bipolar!
2006-11-16 01:29:03 · update #1
You should love him for who he is and not try to change him. You should show how much you love him by accepting and encouraging him. When he steals, steal with him. When he skips work, ask him if he wants you to call in sick for him. When he gambles, sell your car for some extra dough. When he solicits a hooker, help him pick one out - in the name of love.
Or you could leave his a**. Duh!
2006-11-16 01:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by edward_the_l0ngshanks 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't know if impulsive is the word I'm looking for...Everyone gets the urge to skip work every now and again (I think it's good for the soul to do that once in awhile), but STEALING. That's a little much. 23 is young, but it's still old enough to know not to steal.
If you think he's worth it, sit with him (calmly) and discuss the situation. See if there is anything that you can do to help. Maybe he should seek professional help??
Good Luck
2006-11-16 09:02:02 · answer #2 · answered by ~CountryGirl~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's extremely possible to change.Sometimes age does it ,and other times it takes real control on the person wanting to change. It sounds like I used to be , but by thirty things changed naturally for me.(for the better) Remember ,fighting about it only makes it worse.
2006-11-16 09:30:54 · answer #3 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may change with time, age seems to settle a lot of men down. In my studies of the CJ system, stats say that boys hit their peek around 16 (raging hormones) of being impulsive, lawbreaking, etc and then taper off around the age of 30.
Yet, still some continue on. Since you are not married to him, you can choose right now if you want to waste another moment with him.
2006-11-16 09:03:23 · answer #4 · answered by newcovenant0 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he needs help and doesn't know how to get it. He could be bipolar. Impulsive behavior can be a sign of mania. It's not just about who he is, it's what he might have. If he's willing to get help and figure out what's going on, please hang in there with him if you can. Sounds like he loves and needs you.
2006-11-16 09:03:51 · answer #5 · answered by Debra D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs some sort of therapy, because impulsive harmful actions can be a sign of some obsessive compulsive disorder.
or he can actually get an impulase to steal from YOU or hurt you in any way, you really can't trust him.
try to talk to him about seeing a shrink, or talk to his family about it.
coz alone, he can't control himself all on his own.
good luck.
2006-11-16 09:01:38 · answer #6 · answered by Whatever 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's kinda strange that you would describe him as "good" when he steals and lies. Stop making excuses for him. Take him to a therapist.
2006-11-16 09:48:45 · answer #7 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at 23 he is already an adult and if he hasen't change by now chances are the he woun't change at all. so you have to be open to the fact that if you decide to marriage him he will probablly always be this way.GOD BLESS YOU and good luck
2006-11-16 09:07:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't marry a thief or someone who skips work. He is irresponsible and you don't want that for a husband or a father to your children.
2006-11-16 09:16:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nope I dont think he'll change unless he undergoes some therapy session....sorry but try getting him some help.....cheers hun
2006-11-16 09:01:03 · answer #10 · answered by sweetjan20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋