and I have been at wits end should I leave him or not. He didn't cheat. What he did do was offer drugs to my at the time 18 year old son. Thank God he was smart to say no. We just got married Sept 16 2006. I'm finding it very hard to stay married to him because of this and other issues. I only found out about this yesterday.
2006-11-16 00:51:05 · 36 answers · asked by Ms.Deb 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry I left out a couple of details. This is my first marriage, the situation happend last year. Also, my son told me it was coke..and not the cola.
2006-11-16 03:18:26 · update #1
Dear lady....you must dump this guy! It's funny you never noticed any strange behaviour. This guy must be good at concealing stuff. I'm a man and I tell you ppl. doing coke can't be trusted.
I've been 'shafted' by an old friend whom I thought I could trust.
Stupid me...I let it happen twice.
That really sux especially that this is your first marriage. Keep your chin up don't despair! Dump the guy!!! Then take a break to give yourself time to find someone that loves you .....not the drugs...
2006-11-16 14:56:03 · answer #1 · answered by leadguitarplay 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset, he concealed this from you and is obviously not a good father figure to your son. Naturally you feel tricked into marrying him. Talk to a marriage counselor, or pastor, etc. about this and get some advice. It's hard to be in a relationship when you don't trust the person, but at the same time you made vows before God and your family and friends. Talk to friends who have been married a long time and see what they have to say, because they have experience.
If he is a drug user, and you don't know when he is high as opposed to when he's not, don't just come out and confront him, because he could get physically abusive towards you while on a high, but also when sober. Be careful, it may be best to take your son amd move in with mom and dad for a few days, or a supportive friend/sibling (preferably one that has a big strong scary man living there as well).
2006-11-16 00:55:28 · answer #2 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I was also in a relationship like this and I have 3 children...I decided to end the marriage. For several reasons: I did not want my kids around drugs, if the law became involved we could have been raided and lose our house, and finally my husband had been taking the drugs also and did not want the insecurity of never knowing how to make ends meet....I hope this will help you since I decided that my children were my number 1 priority...After leaving I did find out that he did go to jail for the drugs and a few other charges....Good Luck
2006-11-16 01:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
glad your son said no. You should ask him the circumstances. I would not go in there all guns blazing until you get more info. Ask yourself . where did you get this info? what kind of drugs were involved? is you husband a user? a dealer? was he just trying to be a pal instead of a parent? I think you need some discussion with your son and your husband. Dont walk out because of what someone else says happened the "other issues " may be why you want to leave . If this is the case then it is up to you
2006-11-16 01:03:21 · answer #4 · answered by glasgowgone 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ah ha! Got all in a rush to get married, didn't ya? Look, kid, the sooner you're out of this marriage, the better. He WILL NOT change - you can bet the rent on that fact - the whole years' rent, in fact. And next time you meet an interesting guy - make the goddarn engagement long enough to REALLY get to know the dude!
2006-11-16 01:00:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would be furious, and understandably you're having problems with this. First of all, you say "then 18 year old". How long ago did this take place? I realize it's all new to you, but you have to keep in mind that people change. When this event happened, was he in a different mindset, a different stage of his life ... or was he pretty much the same guy he is now?
If the latter is the case, I'd be running for the closest divorce lawyer. Anyone that interferes with the well being of my children is not welcome in my life.
2006-11-16 00:54:05 · answer #6 · answered by Jaded 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This is tough but I'd have to put your son first. He's 18, yes, and he said "no". But, what if he had said "yes" and he became addicted to a certain drug.........and his step-dad was his fix! I'm sure you didn't know he was dealing or doing drugs or you wouldn't have married him but come on now.........his own step-son? Annullment is the word here..........plenty of guys out there. If he'd do this behind your back what else is he doing? What's your son thinking????? Good luck to you and stay strong
2006-11-16 00:58:40 · answer #7 · answered by shizzlechit 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ut oh, you married someone you really didn't know at all. I take it he was at least your 2nd marriage, or at least your 2nd serious relationship since you are no longer with or married to your 18 year old son's father. In other words, you are old enough to have known better.
Now you are stuck. You can try to annul the marriage on the grounds that he misrepresented himself. Or you can file for divorce. Or, you can remain married to a man who is a drug pusher, probably a drug user, and definitely a liar.
2006-11-16 00:55:12 · answer #8 · answered by kja63 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First thoughts are, "Didn't you know him very well when you married him?" Second thoughts are, "Anyone who offers drugs to my kids will be cut out of my life." I am not a person who gives up easily and I think too many people take divorce too lightly...but it is not unreasonable in this situation. In the future, get to know people better before letting them into your life...especially the intimate areas.
2006-11-16 01:13:13 · answer #9 · answered by DivaDynamite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh I would get out of the marriage if I was you. I would be more upset at my husband for offering drugs to my loved one more then I would if he cheated on me. Both are excuses for a divorce. What if your son decided to take the drug like marijuana and got addicted to it or even worse if it was a stronger drug he could of possibly overdosed.
2006-11-16 03:02:38 · answer #10 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋