HUSBAND WORKS 8-5, HAVE THREE BOYS 10, 5, AND 2. CAN' AFFORD DAYCARE. NO CLOSE RELARIVES TO WATCH KIDS. AND NEED TO FIND JOB THAT FITS AROUND HIS SCEDUAL. I HAVE HAD JOBS BEFORE AROUND HIS SCEDUAL GRAVE YARD. UP ALL NIGHT WORKING AND UP ALL DAY WITH KIDS. LAST JOB HAD TO QUIT TO CARE FOR HUSBAND AFTER CAR RECK.WHAT TO DO?
2006-11-16 00:27:08 · 19 answers · asked by daizy11@verizon.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Therapy. Lots of it. Both you and he, because he sounds like a controling husband.
Best wishes.
2006-11-16 00:29:18 · answer #1 · answered by newcovenant0 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Easiest to do is get a job while the kids are in school. Sounds like your husband wants his cake and frosting too-let him know that he will have to realize dinner wont be ready when he comes home because you need a job during the day.
Try to cut as many expenses as possible. If you don't already clip coupons and shop sales-buy only what you need.
Get a marriage counselor-blame is a big deal; house being in foreclosure is a problem and will only make the situation worse. Use your pc to locate resources in your are that will help with your mortgage to get you caught up including your church.
Get debt under control-again stop spending. Don't plan to spend money for the holidays; buy each child one or two gifts for $50-100 or less.
If you are religious pray for GOD's grace and guidance; then step out on FAITH and handle your business.
GOD BLESS AND GOOD LUCK
2006-11-16 08:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by msijg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one: work out the foreclosure, get something done about that. Go to the bank, throw yourself at their mercy, maybe it'll work.
Try and find a babysitter. I know it's hard, my daughter is going through this. There has to be someone within driving distance to watch the kids or care for them. Do not leave them with the ten year old, he's a little young for that.
Get yourself a job, anything to show your trying. Your husband is frustrated and probably a nervous wreck over this.
I know where this is headed if you don't take this be the hand and do something about it. Maybe ever counseling.
Don't let this end in divorce, unless he's physical, there's a way out, there's a chance. Try something, don't give up. We've all been in a bind at one time or the other.
2006-11-16 08:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several things you can do. You don't have to go outside your home to get a job. Since you're home anyway during the day, let people know you'll babysit their kids. Write down a list of your prices and for what ages. There are a lot of parents who have school kids, who might get off the bus in your area. Talk to them, let them know you'll do after school care. I started taking in children overnight who weren't in school. There are nurses who work at your local hospitals who just can't find a sitter for their kids when they work the graveyard shift, talk to a couple of them. Call the local daycares and see what their prices are, then beat them by about $10 to $20. Also, before you accept too many kids in your home, check with your state laws and find out how many kids you can keep at one time without having to get a license. If you're not into keeping someone else's kids, then you could do housecleaning by yourself, set your own hours. You could do it on the weekends, have a set price for the amount of square footage, write down a list of the things you will do, such as laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, etc, etc. Then make some fliers, hand them out and let your friends know, they will tell their friends so & so is cleaning houses now, it will get around and people will call. If you're working the weekends, then your husband is home with the children and you don't need to do daycare. He will also see what it's like when you're not there cleaning the house and taking care of the kids for him. Let him know that since you're working the weekends, and he'll be home with the kids, he needs to be doing the same job you do when you're there during the week by yourself. Write down a list of the things you do daily, otherwise you might come home to a trashed house and have to clean that up as well. Good luck.
2006-11-16 08:54:54 · answer #4 · answered by mercymarie3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so submissive. Your husband is scared and projecting the blame on you. He 'TOLD' you to get a job? Is he your keeper? Not that I am some screaming women's lib...I am not, but get a back bone. Being in foreclosure is both faults....daycare for three kids can be expensive but most states offer child care assistance to low income families. Standards for calling a family low income also have changed. If you look into your resources, you will be able to work and put the kids in daycare..not to mention they are in school now right? So get a job while they are in school....I do it! I have 4 kids..
It takes two people to manage a household and unfortunately today, both parties have to work. Get a job, stop procrastinating...and tell your husband to get off his pedestal, swallow his pride and start looking for some state funded aid..no..not welfare...child day care assistance.....
2006-11-16 08:34:25 · answer #5 · answered by Lynda H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you're married and everything is meant to be equal, the blame is also equal. I'm not sure why so many people spend so much time trying to blame each other in a marriage .... that refutes the whole idea of marriage to begin with.
If your family is having trouble existing off one income and you were expected to get to work to help out, then do so. Quit with the excuses about day care and whatnot, and that's what they are. I have 5, I manage to work. It's the responsibility of both to ensure your family has an income to handle all the debts.Your husband is obviously annoyed that he is expected to cover the load alone.
2006-11-16 08:31:17 · answer #6 · answered by Jaded 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know exactly what you are going through. I have kids the same exact age and it is very hard to find a job during the day, plus find affordable daycare. It is not your fault! He just doesn't understand how hard it really is. Just do your best to explain to him that there is no sense in you working for let's say $8/hr and have to pay for gas and daycare...that is what you'd be spending your checks on anyway. It wouldn't be enough to help buy groceries either...It is tough. good luck
2006-11-16 08:33:51 · answer #7 · answered by ceecee_41004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there are alot of jobs out there.. And actually you should have two of the kids in day care.. get a job that is from 7am to 3pm and that way you only have to have one child in day care. each and every day.. your only problem will be if one of the kids get sick or something.. then one of you will have to take the day off to be with them ..
it is not your fault that you are in foreclosure..
You both have been spending out side of your limits. i know it takes alot to care for and clothes your kids ages but someone must go with out the extras.
my husband is the only one working.. Yes i don't have children to take care of but we are still paying for a house that we aren't living in, and all the bills for it.. and are paying for a house that we are living in and all the bills.. I guess it all in what you are spending your money on weather you can make it or not.. when you go to the store for grocerys leave all the junk food out like chips, ice cream.. and special other foods that your kids think are neccessary.. you can go to the thrift store for clothes for you kids. they don't have to have the name brand stuff. used clothes are very good and will last for quiet some time while you are getting your spending under control..
Grave yard shift jobs are good if you can find a way to get some rest during the day.. and you can have your 2 year old take a nap with you..while the other two are in school..
I worked the grave yard shift and also went to school with three kids on my own and made it work.. the little one slept with me while the others were in school and i had no husband out making money i was a single parent with out there father making child suport payment..
and the kids and i did quiet well and i still had all afternoon with them after they got out of school to play with them so they didn't miss me so much.. you will get things worked out.. good luck and tell your husband to back off a little bit.. you are trying..
2006-11-16 09:17:33 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he valued the house that much he should of gotten 2 jobs. Lots of people work 2 jobs and live to tell about it.
2006-11-16 08:44:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty I would advise you to sell the unaffordable house and rent instead. You might be able to take some cash in the deal from appreciation of property. Don't suffer from effects of champagne appetite and root beer income. You might also consider getting rid of loser husband.
2006-11-16 10:30:13 · answer #10 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there are other jobs you can get and stay home, like babysitting. However it may not be all your fault, you'll may have just over extended your credit limits and tried to live beyond your means. Sorry your in foreclosure , try to get house refinanced.
2006-11-16 08:38:07 · answer #11 · answered by mssgtmidnight 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋