What would you do if your husband wouldn't tell his mother that you were pregnant? This is our fourth baby, so yeah the excitement is a little less than the first, once the baby gets here it'll be different of course :) But, we're staying with his parents right now because our youngest daughter is undergoing medical treatments at Texas Children's Hospital and our ins. only pays 80% so that leaves us with the rest and that's well over 20 grand. Anyway, we live there and it's obvious, I'm 12.5 weeks and she knows but he will not come out and say something. I'm so angry and hurt I could scream! Do I have a right to be? Isn't it common courtest to tell her since we are living there for the moment? He's told other people, but not ONE person in his family. Why could that be?
2006-11-16 00:25:53 · 18 answers · asked by justwondering 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I hadn't thought about what he's feeling as far as his families reaction. Things right now are hard and this was not a planned pregnancy. I think he might be afraid to listen to his parents go on and on about financial responsibility. We're middle class people, we have steady jobs, but when one of your children needs extra medical care there's never enough money to go around. I guess you guys are right, he could be worried about all of that.
2006-11-16 00:36:32 · update #1
Perhaps he is just not saying anything for the sake of an argument. The two of you are dealing with a sick child, living in their home. Depending on the individual that she is and the fact that she is his mother. She may have plenty to say (negative) about the situation. So, he is just trying to save the both of you some grief. I would not allow it to get to me so badly, don't argue with him and don't allow your feelings to be hurt. The fact that he is being quiet, may be that he is trying to spare your feelings from her attacks. Look at your situation and you are bringing another life into the world. She may be very negative and be realistic, he loves you, this is not going to matter in a few years. Let it go. It seems to me you already have enough on your plate right now. God bless you and your family, I wish your daughter a speedy recovery, and Congratulations on the impending birth. Every birth is special. God bless*
2006-11-16 00:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm only guessing here (you should really ask him) but perhaps his ego is a bit hurt at the moment due to your living with his parents. Many men think "I'm the provider for the family" and take it too hard when something comes up and they can no longer do it all on their own. The fact that you will soon bring a new baby in the world (meaning 'one more mouth to feed') might make him a bit scared at the moment. Of course, if this baby was entirely planned, then my whole theory is a bit off.
I think you have a right to be a bit hurt and upset, but you should also try to understand where your husband is coming from. To do so, you need to talk to him. Not agressively of course like I tend to do with my own, that rarely gets me anywhere, but gently. Ask him if you could plan a little get together for the entire family so that you can tell everyone at once.
I so hope your little girl gets better very soon. Whenever I see a baby/young child that needs medical help I cant help but cry. Breaks my heart. I hope you are all holding up well. Give her a kiss for me and my little baby.
2006-11-16 00:37:50 · answer #2 · answered by MaPetiteHippopotame 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be very upset too. This isn't the right time for him to be making you crazy. He probaly knows that she knows, and maybe he is worried about talking to her about it. Since you are staying there. Go for a walk and talk to him about it, or take him to the movie at the park and discuss it. You can probably find it on the internet. It's at one of the parks downtown. They put up a big movie screen and you lay on the hill and watch it. It's free and the other kids might like it too. Texas Childrens is a very good hospital by the way. I live in Houston.
2006-11-16 00:39:48 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Other people will just be happy for you HE is worried because sometimes family can be the cruelest and he is worried about what reaction they may give. I am sorry to her about your situation be patient with him. I understand your frustration, what if you tell her with him or you do it all together. At least she know from the source than. Let her speak and then know that timing isn't everything and God works in mysterious ways. This might be what your family needs right now,something wonderful to look forward to can be very healing. Godd Luck and God Bless
2006-11-16 00:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by Ann D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he the type of man who hates to depend on his mom for anything? Talk to him. He might be afraid that if his parents find out, they will make a scene about another baby.
Set aside a time when his parents are in good moods, then tell them. Make sure he is involved. He may feel that another baby right now is going to put a strain on your family, both financially and emotionally. Good luck.
2006-11-16 00:30:45 · answer #5 · answered by tinkerbell24 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you tell her? If you live there then you have some relationship with her, and it is your fourth baby, so just tell her. Maybe the reason that he isn't telling her has less to do with you and more to do with the fact that he doesn't want her to think that you guys are going to get stuck there adding on another expense while still in her house. Havew you spoken to him about this?
2006-11-16 03:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by me m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all....don't kill him :)
Then, yes, it is strange. If my wife would have a kid, no matter the first or the 8th I would be very proud and want to tell everybody, especially family ! The only solution is for you to make his family know. It isn't nice and you're right to be a bit angry with your husband.
On the other hand, he didn't cheat on you, so it isn't the end of the world. Presuming that this is the only problem you guys have, I'm sure you can fix this.
2006-11-16 00:32:27 · answer #7 · answered by Great Muslim 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe that is the reason, maybe he feels unconfortable
to tell her seeing that you guys are going throw so much at the moment
why don't you let him handle it
you have anough to deal with so let it go, as well the woman is not blind
Good Luck with your daugther & Congrats for new baby
2006-11-16 00:42:31 · answer #8 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
was this pregnancy planned? how is your relationship with his mom? maybe he's just trying to deal with the stress of the other child and needs to focus on that, than anything else...talk to him and find out what is going on...you BOTH need to TALK
2006-11-16 00:39:01 · answer #9 · answered by antoinette m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should tell her I am sure once the shock wears off she will be happy new grand-babies always make people happy. Congratulations and best of luck!
2006-11-16 00:31:45 · answer #10 · answered by aintgivinup79 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋