She moved out three months ago without any apparent reason, other than to "find herself". Everytime I ask her what she wanna do, she says she doesn't know. How much longer am I suppose to wait patiently?
2006-11-16 00:09:13 · 15 answers · asked by joohnfern 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You've waited too long already. It's clear to me your wife is not interested in being married any more but perhaps she doesn't want to hurt you by telling you the truth. I think you should tell her straight away that you're going to move on, with or without her. End of story. Don't hang on like a fool any longer.
2006-11-16 00:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by ina W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love her that much, it is up to you. But for her to leave to "find herself" is a little sad. She is not sure of what she wants. If I was you, I would tell her that you are not going to wait any longer. You guys made a life together and she apparently doesn't want that life anymore. Just let her go and try to move on with your life. 3 months is long enoug if you ask me. Don't waste anymore time waiting on someone who might do it again later on down the road.
2006-11-16 08:27:37 · answer #2 · answered by ceecee_41004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a serious sit down with her. Don't let her blow you off. Make an appointment and allot a few hours to talk about this. Tell her you want this resolved.
If she doesn't love you anymore, she needs to tell you so that you can get on with your life. Do not allow this woman to procrastinate any longer. If she keeps hedging get up and walk out, and tell her that she will be hearing from your attorney. Then make sure she does.
You have to take a hard line with her if you want a resolution to this situation. I hope you're not deluding yourself that she isn't seeing anyone. "Finding yourself" is something hippies did in the sixties. Avoiding a problem in her marriage by moving away from it is all she is doing.
Take a stand, take control and get this over with. Good luck.
2006-11-16 08:22:00 · answer #3 · answered by Firespider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave her alone to discover herself (me personally, I think that's a cop-out saying and bullshit to the max). When she's figured it out in her head, I'm sure she'll let you know. But, people don't "find themselves", what she is doing is trying to figure out a way to let you down without breaking your heart more than she plans on. Sorry for the brutally honest answer, but I've been left 2 times so they can find themselves - they are still searching 11 years and 8 years later.
2006-11-16 08:14:17 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have just been through something nearly the same, my boyfirend kept sayin i dont no, i dont no, so in the end i went to see him and said to him luck do ya wana b together or not? he once again said he doesnt no, so i said well that is going to be the last time i ask you, i wont come to see you anymore either (coz we used to still see each other as m8s) i want to be with you but this is guna hurt me more in the long run. So i went home. Couple of days later he rang me and said sorry i have been stupid and asked me back.
Hope this is some help
2006-11-16 08:22:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am one to really put forth the emph on working on a marriage. I believe in death do us part. However, it really sounds like she may have someone else in mind. I don't mean to lay seeds of doubt, and if I am wrong (and I could very well be) then take this as the rantings of someone who as a woman knows how women think. "Finding oneself" is more akin to saying "There is someone else I am attracted to and I don't know if I should be with him or stay with my husband"
If this is the case, stick with her, dude, still, stick with her and try to work it out. Marriage is not meant to be easy, and it is not all lovey dovey all the time. It takes work and preservation.
Best wishes.
2006-11-16 08:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by newcovenant0 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To find herself? Wow, I didn't know someone who's supposedly in a commited relationship can be lost. Instead of waiting patiently for her, why don't you set your own time limit as far as how long you are willing to wait and when that time comes, make your decision yourself. Putting your life on hold for someone who can't (or won't) make up their mind isn't fair for you. It prevents you from getting on with your own life. So I suggest you take control of your own situation.
2006-11-16 08:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by Leila G 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You already gave all the time she needs. 3 months is, 6 paychecks, 3 months of rent/mortgage, 3 months of gas/electric, a quarterly statement from my 401(k), 50 days in the Gym...you see what I'm saying. You life is going on, and she can can either decide to be a part of it, or you can decide for her.
2006-11-16 08:16:02 · answer #8 · answered by Floss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't wait at all. Obviously you love her but it is also apparent she questions her love for you or this is her way of saying she doesn't. Maybe she doesn't have the audacity to blatently tell you she doesn't love you....
What it boils down to is..move on...don't wait..Doesn't mean you have to find someone else..just don't put your life on hold...no reason to!
2006-11-16 08:51:42 · answer #9 · answered by Lynda H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her and want to make this work, give her the time she needs, However i would continue to all and see her. In fact make a date with her take her out, have a good time and then take her home . Don't make her feel threaten , just make her feel loved, tell her you want it to work , and that together the both of you can make it work. If its what both of you want.
2006-11-16 08:22:16 · answer #10 · answered by mssgtmidnight 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋