how do you deal with your husband/wifes ex?

Question

and if you are going to say "simple I wouldn't marry anyone with an ex" then move onto a different question, I'm talking to the millions of people who do have to deal with it and aren't afraid to.

the problem is she goes out of her way to accuse me of things and yell at me. He isn't allways there to stop her. I mostly keep my mouth shut because she has sole custody and I dont want to jepordize his visitation rights. He has talked to her about it. She is the type who thinks she is allways right. You can hardly get a word in when she is talking. Should I just keep on letting her talk out of her A** none of it is true anyway but you know what it is like being accuse of things you dont do or say. She likes to get mad becasue we have money to spend so she thinks of reasons to make us feel bad for spending it. Even though a good chunk of it goes to the kids she has to complain. example for my birthday he bought me a lot of things. she got mad because he didn't buy anything for the kids. They already had their birthday just last month and they got spoiled. She accused me of turning him against the kids for that. should i continue to keep my mouth shut?

Answer 1

it's difficult because they may share a lot of history and firsts together. But you just have to remember that they are not together for a reason and that you make them happy.

Answer 2

I deal with the same thing. For the sake of the child it is better to keep a line of communication open with the ex. You are absolutely right when you say she is talking out of her a**, they are good at that. Just let her make a fool of herself while you stand by and be the bigger person. Eventually she will get what's coming to her and you won't have any regrets.

Answer 3

I've dealt with my husbands X wife now for 12 long miserable years. In the beginning she was interferring, hateful, rude and you know after 12 long years she's still aflicted with the same attributes!

I am happy to say----I'm dancing the end of child support dance and her interferring will end December 30, 2006 when I prorate my last support check to this miserable woman! I am prorating because the child turns the magic # on the 15th of January!!! Why should I reward the X with more $$$ in her pocket!

I put up with her controlling my husbands children's visits. Can you believe in the beginning she wanted me to kennel our dog for 5 weeks while his girls visited our home. She even demanded we house my son who at that time was 14 in a different home. (Let me tell you neither of her demands were met)

She even tried to control day care, and even had one of our day care people years ago quit because of this X's constant calls and threats to report our care person to DCFS for not being a licensed home!

The girls are now nearly 20 and 18---and let me tell you---They're the most self absorbed selfish and self centered people I've ever known. They proved themselves worthy of the ME award last week when we attended my husbands MOMs funeral...These girls had the audacity to pull the executor of the Will aside (now mind you this is my husbands sister) and asked her how much each one of them would gain financially from the death! I'm not kidding you hear this actually happened!!

The X wife has raised these girls with values of that of a Gold Digger----she puts herself above everyone and everything! She has demeaned me and my husband for years----

She left my husband for another MAN but lead the girls to believe I was the ONE that was at fault----I didn't meet him until he was nearly divorced from this woman! She on the other hand was living with this man before the ink was dry on the signed judgment of dissolution!

I would say to you all good things come to those who wait...My turn will be next month!!! The clock is ticking and time has run out on her money grubbing out lifted hand!

Answer 4

I think you should do what you can to make life easier for the kids but have your boundaries. My partners ex is a policewoman and on top of that phsyco.She is exactly the same . The kids are starting to realise that she is a bit nutty and that is sad for them. You partner needs to support you and stand up for you when required.If its like my situation you'll find that she's regretful, jealous and so bored with her life that she wants to occupy yours...don't let her.......Good luck

Answer 5

you dont 'deal 'with them,,your husband should,,be nice,be there and be civil,,they are nothing to you,they are from his past and you cannot change that,,they cannot break what doesnt have cracks.its easy to get engrossed with someone if they are making trouble but the trouble shouldnt be related realistically to you ,it is about your husband and the only person who can really do anything about it without you bearing the blame for his words is him.they had a shot,,they failed,now it is your turn.

Answer 6

In fact, your husband shud forget her. You have nothing to do with her directly. The prob. was of your husband. The right scenario is that he shud manage that NOT LET her to enter into your life in any way.

Answer 7

You shouldn't have to, let him do the dealing from the phone, try and keep "to busy" all the time. Let her/him go through their attorney.

Answer 8

If your serious about your relationship, and there are kids involved you have no choice but to learn to deal with them.
The best solution it to kill them with kindness, grit your teeth behind your smile. The bigger the B**ch or @ss they are, the more it will kill them that you are being nice to them.

Answer 9

when she starts bitching..walk away....when you're alone with her and she starts up again...tell her.."shut the **** up and walk away...

Answer 10

kindness kills ! keep your friends close & your enemys even closer!!!!!