I do not agree with it (obviously)...but it is starting to get some Media attention.
Smash Hits & Jackie Magazines did a very thorough investigative expose on it that really brought it to the forefront of the English Collective consiousness
What can be done to stop it?
What are your thoughts?
2006-11-15 22:22:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Should the police do anything? Perhaps they should stop fondling their truncheons, because we all know that symbols of authority cause the oppressed masses to seek comfort with larger symbols of authority, also known as the bigger stick theory.
However, if the authorities determine something must be done to curb tree-molesting, perhaps they should consider the following ideas for consideration to develop their exploratory committee.
If it is a threat to England, it is a danger to the entire Kingdom.
Immediately deputize several legions of black squirrels to defend the trees. While the black squirrels have the disposition and the natural defense mechanisms to effectively dispatch any would-be tree-molester, it is also necessary to maintain decorum.
Therefore, the black squirrel brigades must be suitably uniformed and outfitted. I am uncertain which would be the appropriate design for their uniform, but it must include spats.
I suggest their regimental insignia incorporate a Claymore from the north, to instill terror and castration anxieties.
"Honi soit qui mal y pense", should be posted on signs near any susceptible innocent tree, especially secluded gardens.
On palace grounds, perhaps the squirrels could be provided with a bearskin hat, similar to that of the Palace Guards, to indicate their distinction from the ranks of the other squirrel brigades,
.
I would assign the squirrels to Special Air Services, as much of their duties would be reconnaissance efforts from some distance above the ground.
2006-11-16 17:03:13 · answer #1 · answered by Ragnarok 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What will the English police do? Being a coppers daughter, and having worked for the police, I can tell you that they will probably start inviting trees to the 999 parties to ensure they get laid! Most of the officers these days will be well acquainted with Smash Hits and Jackie so it will only spark the interest in their own depraved behaviour even more. Jolly good job they don't read the Guardian huh?...
2006-11-16 01:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait are the English women having sex with trees.
Grassy always thought that that staid image of the English gentleman was effeminate.
Have the women immigrate to the States to find some real men.
2006-11-16 01:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I think the Police will have to up their First Aid training to include the use of tweezers. Then they are going to have to take training on not being afraid to hold onto another privates as they use the tweezers. Then they are gonna have use self control so that they are not laughing their arses off when they get the call. Am I barking up the wrong tree here?
2006-11-15 22:28:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok come on......admit it. You've been "pining" over a few trees yourself. The question is whether this craze will truly take root or not. My guess is that the police will leaf it alone for right now. I mean think about it. What can they do? Guys will be having sex with trees with no respect for just ONE tree. Mahogany is so passe. So what are the police going to do? Check for splinters? For right now I have to say that tree sex is "oa'k" in my book.
2006-11-15 22:52:32 · answer #5 · answered by Marianne not Ginger™ 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Jack-what Magazines? I haven't heard about this but I suppose cutting down all the trees will put an end to it. Hell, the way we're running through our natural resources we're well on our way to making trees extinct.
2006-11-15 22:28:08 · answer #6 · answered by Guyute411 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think Sting and his buddies would probably encourage this new enterprise, hoping for some sort of human-tree hybrid that understands the need for clean air, open spaces and recycling.
But then again, Sting is a ****.
2006-11-15 22:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by people are scum 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think the police will have to open up a new 'branch' to deal with it. ... otherwise we may all end up taking a 'leaf' out of their book. Its just a shame that the tax payers will have to 'stump' up the cash. I think their 'bark' is worse then their bite though once you get to the 'root' of the problem...
ok sorry, i'll shut the **** up
2006-11-15 23:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trees have been wearing less and less over here, too. It's time we whip these trees into shape, and give them some morals. You may also want to make anything over 80 proof illegal.
2006-11-15 22:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by Diesel Weasel 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think the government could build fences around the forests and make them whore houses and make some money!
2006-11-16 00:47:49 · answer #10 · answered by sweetsmile 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋