My Wife Isn't Interested In Sex Anymore Whats Wrong?

Question

We have been married three years and when we first married she couldn't keep her hands off of me.We were at it as many hours in the day as you could possibly be and did so many things that neither of us had ever tried and had a tremendous sex life.We have children but they are grown and really don't have any problems getting along.We enjoy each others company but if I never approached her for sex I don't think we would ever have it again and she would be perfetly happy.I haven't changed in any way nor any major circumstances and i have asked her straght many times what the problem was ,and her answer has been Im waiting on you to make the first move.I told her millions of times not to wait and it doesnt seem to help.i even reminded her of how she was the first part of our marriage and she says she doesnt remember.Its not like she doen't know how I feel so what should I do?

Answer 1

Sounds like you've done everything I would have suggested. I guess just keep talking and try to figure some things to make things interesting. Maybe try creating a different type of relationship for awhile. Try not having sex for a year or so and engage in activities that may remind both of you of sex but are in no way related. Go talk to a sex therapist. Sorry, that's the best I got

Answer 2

Ok. There could be some thing that you can change, the others are up to her. 1. You mentioned BC, when I was on the pill I didn't have much of a sex drive. See if she can switch to a lower hormone dosage. BTW when I got off BC I was wanting it more than my husband at times. I noticed that the week b4 my period and the week after I don't want sex (which is 2 weeks). Every woman is different, but hormones will play a big role in sex drive. 2. Try something new. Some men would be surprised how many women actually like wantching porn, to an extent. I am not sure how conservative you are, but get her and her girlfriends to throw a sex toy party. She doesn't necessarily have to buy any "toys" but it might spark her interest in sex in general. You could also try giving her back rubs, foot massages, taking showers together, send her sweet messages etc. Depending on what kind of woman she is, she might like the sweet stuff. 3. Back to square one: you may have to go back to dating her. I mean, take her on dates, and go back to that wonderful feeling of finding someone you really really like when everything is new. Remember how you got her to be intimate the first time. 4. The last thing: being married is a totally new world. Give her time. Just so you know 2 weeks is not that long at all. It may feel like it for you, but the worse thing you can do is make her feel like that is your only interst. Good Luck

Answer 3

It's difficult to argue with your wife's biology. As you've discovered, a hysterectomy can definitely affect a woman's sexual desire. However, that shouldn't deter you from trying to get your wife to relate to your feelings as significant and important.

First, I would strongly recommend that you read up on the subject of hysterectomies and their consequences. Please note the list of online resources on the right side bar.

Can you imagine having your sexual desire stripped away from you? I suspect that's exactly what happened to your wife. Many women report either a partial or total loss of sexual interest following a hysterectomy. I assume she is on hormonal placement therapy and if she isn't, she should be. It can help improve sexual function
It sounds like you both have some very legitimate issues regarding your sexuality, intimacy and romantic "needs" and "wants". I know it's hard to be willing to hear, but it does sound like she's at least telling you what she doesn't want right now - sex!

My advice would be for you to seek out marital counseling, where you can safely discuss how you're both feeling. Without blaming, talk to each other about your pain and loss. Listen to one another in a spirit of cooperation and love. If you're both willing to "put your cards on the table," then I'm certain that you will be able to renew your love.

Good luck,

Answer 4

Well you don't say how old you are but if you have grown up children it maybe that she is going through the menapause. THis can be a difficult period for some women and their sex drive can decrease when they are going through it - especially if they are having difficult periods.
However the good news is that when the menapause stops women's sex drives often return to their highest level.
Other things may also affect her sex drive - she may feel less attractive at the moment with the changes that are happening to her body as she gets older and may need reassurance that you still find her wonderful and attractive.
She may feel tired and exhausted because of other things in her life and this can decrease libido - make sure you are both eating well and doing exercise to get full of energy rto enjoy all the things about your relationship.
Also think about whether it is full sex or affection or romance that you are missing - maybe doing the small things like holding hands more or cuddling may be good for you both as well.
If none of this works maybe you could go to couples councelling?
Its quite normal in relationships for libido to go up and down so don't worry too much at the moment.

Answer 5

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RE:
My Wife Isn't Interested In Sex Anymore Whats Wrong?
We have been married three years and when we first married she couldn't keep her hands off of me.We were at it as many hours in the day as you could possibly be and did so many things that neither of us had ever tried and had a tremendous sex life.We have children but they are grown and really...

Answer 6

you didn't specified your wife's age. If she is approaching 40, then it could be menopause. If she isn't it might be a stage. Try not to worry too much about it, meanwhile enjoy her company and try different activities together. When women have children they tend to be more focalized in rising them up, so sex can be replaced by rutine chores and daily issues.
Be more supportive, I can tell that you are but try harder an also try to understand her feelings and her circumstances. I don't know but may be you could try a different approach and open more comunication with her.

Answer 7

Sounds like your wife may be approaching menopause. It can cause a marked decrease in desire for SOME women. Not all.
Maybe sex is painful for her from the hormonal changes her body is going through? Maybe, for some reason, the emotional closeness she needs to feel attracted to you is gone? Maybe there is something that has caused a lack of trust?
Whatever the cause, if this is new and not the way it has been for years, she needs to see her doc to rule out physical issues and then you both need to seek couples counselling.
I know it's hard when she won't seek that from you because a to a man it is the way he shows his love...but remember, she is not turning down your love, just saying she cannot ask you for your body.
Good Luck!

Answer 8

WOW dejavu! My husband and I are going through the same exact thing right now!! Even the past sex life before kids things was all the same. From my own experience, try not to get mad or irritated at your wife, because if she is feeling anything like I do, she has no idea what she's feeling and she's just as concerned and frustrated as you are. Worst case scenario, she could be suffering from S.A.D (Sexual Arousal Disorder), this can be ruled out by simply calling your primary care doctor and beginning simple test's. Maybe some other reason's could be because (brace yourself) she's just not attracted to you. I love my husband VERY much and love spending time with him as well. Sometime's I feel urges for him to "initiate" sex, but when he does, I feel turned off. One thing that my husband has done, that sounds horrible, but works, is, he's just stopped asking for it! He will give me compliments all day about how beautiful I am, how much he loves me, and just general compliments. Not only does this make me feel really good about myself, but it makes me feel more confident. Dont give her a compliment and then move in for sex... let her come to you! If she feels like you are respecting her decision when and when not to have sex, and you express how much you still love her to death and you compliment her all the time.. this will turn her on! It does for me! But, the more my husband ask's for sex the less I want to do it with him. Give her some space. Make small attempts such as foreplay. She may be against the fact of having sex, because it's in our head. But, we cant fight the feeling of someone else touching or bodies. MASSAGES! Give her a massage that lasts atleast 30 minutes! We dont want her thinking that your only doing it to get her into bed.. but I've noticed that massages always turn me on! So, to recap: Give her space, Compliment her, FOREPLAY, and massage massage massage! Best of luck to you! I know how hard and frustrating it can be.

Answer 9

When relationships first start off, there is always the initial spark. That comes naturally, and is a huge bonus to the base relationship you have. As time goes, that spark will fade, but thats not to say the quality of the relationship (and sex) has to fade aswell. The initial excitement is what is missing here, and I would strongly suggest strengthening your relationship with her, and make every day with her as great as it was when you first met, even without that initial spark.
Just remember, sex isn't the main focus in a relationship, but if everything else in the relationship is right and flowing well and hapily, the sex will come flowing too (pardon the bad pun)

Answer 10

thats because of the mothering instinct. A woman is all sexed up when selecting a partner, as soon as you become one, her sexy instinct disappears. Proof - if you left her and she found another man she'd find her libido knows no bounds, until she's married again.

Its not their fault, its their design. Can you imagine how she must feel about you as a male being constantly sexed up as our desing is? The difference between the sexes is a world apart I'm afraid.

I'm sure all females will disapprove of this answer. Sex is just sex to a man lovies!