Before i start this is so complicated!! I have fallen out with my family but i have children and they need to see their grandparents and family.I am also seperating before christmas so should i let my children celbrate christmas with their fathers family after christmas day lunch?? Or should I just run to the hills with my family and wait until the new year??
2006-11-15 20:57:34 · 13 answers · asked by jules 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Other - Holidays
i meant run to the hills with my children
2006-11-15 20:58:18 · update #1
i am warming to puffys answer and the reason why i posted this question is for my children jeez if i was going to be selfish i would lock my doors and not go out poor santa!!!
2006-11-15 21:03:30 · update #2
Go to your parents - make peace. Let your husband have the children after Lunch on Christmas day.
DONT let your personal feelings influence the future of your childrens ideals.
Good luck - its only a day!
2006-11-15 21:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by puffy 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think Puffy's ideas are good. Sounds like you have some serious work to do with your family. You have to be the judge of whether you can have a close relationship with your family. I think it's good to look at what part that we have played in relationship difficulties.
But also, if family has been abusive, etc., then it's important to know how to set appropriate emotional and physical boundaries with them. It would be good for both you and your children (and even your soon-to-be ex) to get some counseling.
Above all, though are the children. Everyone needs to keep in mind that the children need to be kept physically and emotionally safe and reassured by word and DEED that they are loved and will be taken care of.
Everybody is going to be stressed, so I encourage you to keep it as simple as possible with all the changes that are occurring.
2006-11-16 05:14:14 · answer #2 · answered by KIT J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father's and mother's parents HATED each other so we could never have a big christmas thing. So we went to my mother's parents on Christmas eve for punch and pie and to pick up the presents, then had Christmas day on our own (apart from any randoms who might turn up), then went to my father's parents for Boxing day.
As a kid I liked this as it made Christmas last much longer. I'd think I'd opened all my presents on the day and then whoop! I had more on Boxing day!
So I would say take them to the grandparents on Christmas Eve; that way you won't be stressed with all the xmas preparations and you'll be able to keep the peace with them. Then you can have christmas morning on your own with the kids, and farm them out to their father in the afternoon or boxing day.
Hope it goes ok.
2006-11-16 05:10:51 · answer #3 · answered by whoopscareless 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God you poor thing! How about you spend Christmas morning with your kids - they go to their grandparents for lunch and their father picks them up from there and has them overnight and returns them to you on Boxing Day.
2006-11-16 05:00:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would celebrate Christmas day with your kids, and go to the grandparent (yours) for tea. that way you don't have to spend all day with your folks you get to spend it with your kids. Then let them go to there dads for boxing day. That way you have a reason to get the kids home and you get a rest.
That's what i did when i was a kid. If he wanted to there dad could create Christmas number two.
2006-11-16 05:03:28 · answer #5 · answered by Heather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try alternating..one year your family can get together at christmas and his family can have kids for christmas eve or boxing day, and the next year change. Kids get holidays at christmas so one year you and your family could have kids until boxing day and your ex can have kids until new years eve or something like that then alternate
2006-11-16 05:06:50 · answer #6 · answered by jojokiowa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not celebrate Christmas with just you and your children at your home?
2006-11-16 05:00:34 · answer #7 · answered by Rich T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Iron Maiden is always the best answer.
Run to the hills,
Run for your life!
2006-11-16 05:04:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi again Jules...
Christmas is a time to be happy... you need to be a "little" bit selfish at Christmas, and spend it with who YOU want to, and who's company YOU will enjoy..... otherwise YOU will have a miserable Christmas
2006-11-16 05:01:58 · answer #9 · answered by Bmp1ksh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you did say a family Christmas, so why not spend it with your family, invite them over, let them spend the day with you, do anything together.
2006-11-16 05:08:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋