OK, what would your advice be to someone who says that he can't be gay because: 'i am in a band', 'i am married', etc etc. Said person doesn't find women attractive in any way, but finds men to be attractive in so many ways. What would your advice be? Try be serious, and give details please. I am just curious as to the answers said person would get.
2006-11-15 20:22:23 · 15 answers · asked by ? 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
About marriage.. not only do you rob yourself from living your life with someone you DO find sexually atractive, you also rob your wife from her sexuality! Basically you are living a lie and you pull her with you in that. She is living your lie, and living with a man she must feel is not sexually interested in her. That goes against her self asteem, her self apreciation, it must make her very insecure about herself. She deserves the thruth in this!
And so do you. You are living a lie yourself, doing yourself short. You only have one life to live for as far as we know, so what do you want to do with it?
I hope for you that you will die on old age. And that on your deathbed you think back upon your life in a good way. That you honestly can say to yourself that you have lived like your true self, and not the life of someone you are not.
Sorry if I sound a bit harsh. I don't mean to.
My advice would be: talk to your wife, and seriously find out who you are and what your needs are. In that way you are much more able to find happiness then you are now.
2006-11-16 00:41:05 · answer #1 · answered by Bloed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that person should quit using so many excuses and that he should just go out and live his life the way he wants. A lot of men cover up by saying that they are married. But then it soon ends up in divorce because they are hidding there true feelings. If you are not sure about things at least try it and if it appeals to you continue. But if you dont like it go with women I dont know what else to say. You will have to bisexual maybe that is what it is.
2006-11-16 12:50:45 · answer #2 · answered by brandenbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may mean you're straight. It may mean you're gay. It may mean you're bisexual. Folks can, and do, go through phases through life where other's attractiveness differs. Having done the actual physical act means nothing. Being gay/lesbian/straight is **who you are attracted to** and nothing more. Now, most of us act on those attractions.
Unfortuanately there is no "litmus test" to knowing whether you are gay or bisexual or straight, other than just knowing. (You've read and heard the stories of the 60 year old who finally accepted their sexuality.)
It may mean that you are coming to terms with your feelings versus what society has taught you to feel.
Eventually most all people who are gay realise that not only are they sexually attracted to members of the same sex, but that this attraction is not transitional. This realisation could come at any time during their lives. Once you realize it's not transitional, you've made a major realization.
On the Kinsey scale of 0 (totally gay) to 6 (totally straight), most everyone falls somewhere between 1 and 5. Our feelings and attractions are fluid... and can change over time. Very few are actually exclusively hetero/homosexual.
Spend time with yourself and do some soul-searching. Have those feelings been there forever, and you're just now acknowledging them? Are they (honestly) new, and you're not sure how to deal with them?
Don't sweat it too bad. Life goes on everyday for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and yes, even straight folks.
The best of luck to you!
2006-11-16 06:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by yetanothergwm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say do you remember the first time you found males attractive? Did you fantasize and confirm the feelings you thought you was born with because you was so young when you made the choice from some influence that you forgot it? Do you know it could take a life time to reverse what you have imprinted on your mind as what you accept and desire? Good Luck. Or you could say as well, Help me now Jesus Christ, I know it was not Gods fault, and I know it was not a fault of mine, but it happened and I need your help to do the will of God Almighty.Amen
2006-11-16 15:25:29 · answer #4 · answered by ishelp4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come out of the closet sister.....you only married thinking it would hurt your alter ego as a man and probably hurt along the way and feel more comfortable around men....and beginning to explore and compare your gorgeous male organ the penis with other men and getting excited about what it would be like to touch and lick another man's penis.... Every man at one time or another during his life has compared with a best friend about ones size and explored. Oh! it brings back memories.
2006-11-17 21:12:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sure can be gay and still play in a band! i mean, a person is in a band not because of his sexuality but because of his talent and skills. so why should one's gender prefernece be a hindrance to what a person loves doing?
about marriage, i'm not sure about that. i guess you have to speak with your partner about it.
anyways, if you really feel that you are gay, then be one! there's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. life is short, so enjoy your life by being who you are and expressing your true self, rather than trying to be someone that you're not....you owe that to yourself, don't you reckon? =)
2006-11-16 04:52:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually I'm trying to be serious, Elton John and Freddie Mecury were in a band, and they turned out to be gay, but um, I would suggest talking to a professional about your problems.
2006-11-16 04:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by Rollercoaster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry this is more to db than in response to the question, but i think its important to address this.
"homosexuality is a sinful act. You just havent met a woman that turns you on"
first of all, i hate to play semantics with you but "homosexuality" is not an act.
although i am no longer a christian, i was and i studied the bible a lot and i don't believe that homosexuality is sinful.
the most important thing tho, is if finding a woman that turns me on was all it took for me to be straight then i would not be gay. there are plenty of women that turn me on but i still don't have a drive to have sex with them and i certainly don't want to have a romantic emotional relationship with them. just because someone turns you on doesn't make them the appropriate person to spend the rest of your life with.
2006-11-16 05:21:34 · answer #8 · answered by Swelm 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
said person should realize that he is gay. there is nothing horrible about being gay, and there is no point in said person forcing himself to live a lie.
2006-11-16 04:26:10 · answer #9 · answered by domangelo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell them to be with a guy at least once to see how much they enjoy it and then tell me how straight they are
2006-11-16 10:49:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋