my foster family are pushing me away?

Question

i am really down i feel like killing myself my foster family well foster mom has stopped treating me like her daughter i just dont feel loved anymore i am sick of being rejected and for once i want to be loved i am not a bad kid and i have never done anything to hurt them although they are saying diffrently they are saying they feel used and they couldent afford me but still kept me i dont no what to do i do feel sorry for my foster mum as she dident get any money for taking care of me but i thought she was doing it for love but ovilsaly not what do you's think any advice please help

sorry i should have said i wasent a bad kid i am 18 now and have no one well i have them who i love but i dont think they love me

Answer 1

sorry to hear it- please don't hurt yourself- that would be tragic- your foster mum must be going through some hard things- some that you don't know about- maybe you can go to school, college or university- and get educated- pray about it and see where the Lord leads- and what doors open- take care- D

Answer 2

The first thing is that you are not unloved. Your foster mum looked after you for a long time despite the fact that money was tight. She did do it for love, I am sure, otherwise you would have felt rejected well before reaching your age. You are now eighteen and she will simply not treat you as if you were a little girl, hug you and make a fuss simply because now she feels you are an adult and may be she is afraid of invading your personal space.

Though your foster parents may feel used in that they got no financial help from the authorities, it is not you they are riling against, it is against the system.

Perhaps also you are interpreting as dislike what is probably simply recalling some of your childhood exploits. No child is perfect and everyone of us has been caught with our hands in the cookie jar at some time or other. All parents have such recollections which their children have forgotten and they bring them up at some time or other. My Mum used to say that she felt she had brought into the world a bunch of ugly ducklings and she wrote in her diary really nasty things about me, but I realised when I got older that it was not what I did that exasperated her, there were other issues and she channelled her frustration by recording the fact that I had done something silly.

I would have a serious talk with your Mum. Next time you feel she is rejecting you, tell her you love her to bits and you cannot understand what has caused her change of attitude. You may find it is not at all what you think. All parents make sacrifices and sometimes feel badly about it, but it does not mean they do not love you. I bet your Mum would be horrified if she realised that you hurt so much that you have contemplated killing yourself. Also is there not some kind of councillor you could turn to for advice, or a friend of the family who could act as a go-betwen to sort things out? Lastly, I would go to see my doctor, if I were you, and I would explain matters to him or her. You need something to get you out of this depressed mood you are going through at the moment, and there may be help there too.
Take care and good luck!

Answer 3

Without to much details like your age?how long have you been with your foster parents etc, my only advice I can give is firstly do you have a social worker who could help maybe mend the bridges what seem to be breaking, talk to your foster parents and maybe all of you sit down. Secondly none of this is your fault you were are the child and they are the adults, no one is forced to foster and yes in certain situations if the child and foster's are not connecting no one is obliged to stay in that situation. Im sure there is some kind of money/benefit the foster's are entitled to look after you. But I would not blame yourself and seek help even with a teacher/Friends parent or someone you trust. This situation can be resolved,DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP OR ADVICE, stay strong dont feel to down there are people who care and will help you Good Luckxx

Answer 4

Am really sorry for the position which you are in.I think you should try and get someone to talk to, since they are your foster family there may be nothing much you can do unless they don't want you any more.Talk to someone in school or a friend will do alot of good, just to share things with.Don't worry just keep your head high and try to endure it, Always remember no condition is permanet.Please just try and take care of yourself that is the most important thing right now not anyone else, because once there is life and good health there is always a way.

Answer 5

hey there, am so sorry to hear about your problem. The best piece of advice I can offer you is to sit down with your foster mum and tell her exactly what you have asked here. In order for her to have fostered you, she must be a nice woman that genuinely cares for people. Sometimes all it takes is a chat. Don't do crazy things to get her attention (I know from personal experience that that never works!), as all it will do is frustrate the both of you and build up a wall between you. Good luck, and hope it goes well for you. :)

Answer 6

I understand what you're asking and that i think of i will have been accountable of this, yet in effortless terms while somebody expresses a undertaking over the cost of adopting a newborn. I even have stated they look into adopting an older toddler. Now, if a kin starts off doing foster care with the objective of adopting a toddler from foster care, they're in for a impolite awakening. The objective of the foster care gadget is for reunification of the kin. and that they're going to do in spite of they are able to to maintain a kin mutually. and you relatively never comprehend while the toddler may be taken out of your place. Adopting from the Foster care gadget and adopting from an enterprise or the bio kin isn't even close to to the comparable difficulty. it relatively is like evaluating apples and oranges as a thank you to talk.

Answer 7

i know its very easy to feel angry with your foster mum...but she may be under a lot of pressure and sometimes adults dont always say things the way they mean them to sound when they come out...if you are on ok terms with her you should tell her how you feel and how hurt you are...tell her that you understand that its hard for her but that they really mean a lot to you and you dont want to fall out over this...at 18 you can ;look after yourself even though it may seem difficult...i lived alone from the age of 14 years old and im fine...dont let them pull you down...you probably need to learn a hard lesson here and probably one that youve come across before and say to yourself that you will be happy and the only person that can be responsible for you right now is you...you can still have a relationship with them and have the love and support of a family but maybe its time to try and build some confidence for yourself...i know its tough and that it hurts but you have to be strong and make a better life for yourself despite other people...hope this helps and if you want to talk ever please feel free to e mail me...;0)

Answer 8

do you can a social worker assigned to you? talk to them about the way you feel. They should help you either resolve the situation or find you somewhere new.

I'm sorry your having a bad experience and i wish you luck in finding a family who deserve you.

Now your 18 you can move on, have you thought about going to uni. that way you get to live away and meet different people. i lived in a shard house and meet my boyfriend there, they became me second family. Sometimes even though we don't like are parents but we still love them, we just have to except they aren't perfect and surround are selves we friends who care about us.

Answer 9

You are in a sad situation. Is it posible that whoever is the person in charge foster care families could help you talk it out? Or maybe your school counselor? Or church minister?

Answer 10

first of all honey, stop thinking of killing yourself NO ONE is worth losing your life for. Next step is to talk to your Mum & tell her how your feeling. If things really are bad then contact social services yourself. You can find your local number in the telephone book.....if you want to talk then email me, just click on my avitar and you will get a link to email me.