I have pretty low self esteem from all of this and I don't have the greatest body anymore, but I'm not totally gross either.
I guess I need advice as to what people do once they make the decision to divorce, how do you get over it and move on? Is it hard to start dating again? I'm 25.
2006-11-15 19:58:06 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best way to move on is to find some things to do and make new friends. For example:
**Take an evening course at a local community college
**Join a church or other civic organization
**Become a volunteer at a hospital, nursing home, or hospice.
**Join an intramural/recreational sports team in your area
**Join the women's bowling league
**Join a Karate course
If you begin to do things, meet new people, and get the focus off you and unto others you will find that you will get much help and healing from other people. Become "others" centered.
You are 25--your life is far from over. In fact, your life is just actually beginning. You can do it--move on from this situation one day (and one choice) at a time.
Good luck! I hope things go well for you. You deserve better than what you have had so far.
2006-11-15 21:25:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your still young and no matter what your husband did its not YOUR fault. He didn't cheat on you because you were unattractive he cheated on you because he was a HOE. Once a hoe always a hoe. All you need to know is that he's the one that lost a good thing not you.
As for what to do during a divorce thats easy the same thing you did before you got married. You lived without him once you can do it again. Go out with your girlfriends, meet some new guys but definately don't rush into a relationship. Meet guys and get to know them but don't get into a serious relationship until you know you are definately over your ex and ready to move on. It may take a while but it will happen. Life is too short to waste on one prick who doesn't deserve two minutes of your time much less the rest of your life.
2006-11-15 20:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing anyone can say at this very moment will take that emptiness, sadness, anger, hurt, feel like you are going to go crazy feeling away. You are probably thinking about the sex with the woman too, how he kissed her or any of the details. When you do think about it it turns your stomach, hurts your heart and you just want to break down. You have to get INVOLVED with your closest friends and talk and cry yourself through it. It will start to get old after a while. Remember one thing though, it is going to be easy for you to find someone but you have to know when that time is. Until then it will be hard to fill that void. AVOID BEING ALONE! That is the worst thing you can do right now. Make plans with close friends and keep making plans until you are so exhausted you fall dead tired asleep. Its hard to eat, sleep, and think right now. One day at a time. That's all that can be done.
2016-03-28 22:13:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that what you should do is get away from it all even if just for a weekend just go away and treat yourself pamper yourself have some me time.
Then when you come back why don't you join a gym, not because you need to lose weight but it a nice way of meeting new people. Then start going out with your girlfriends I always find that friends, good friends will get you through anything.
You are young and you will be okay
2006-11-15 20:21:44 · answer #4 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, you are still very young.when I was your age I already had been married and divorce twice and engaged . By the time I was 27 I'd been married three times.Each one was better then the next .The third one turned out to be the keeper .We have a boy that just turned 26 and my husband and I love one another very,very much.What I'm trying to say is don't give up because Mr. right is out there you just hadn't found him yet. P.S. I am 54 now and my husband is 47.
2006-11-15 20:11:44 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there.... you have made the right decision and the 'best' one.
Congratulations on your wise decision.
You hold onto the values of what you want in a marriage and what you as a individual deserve.... true love. which takes commitment, loyalty, work ...
You now have given yourself the chance to find true love
It is tough and your low self esteem stems from him not respecting you and cheating on you.
You have been ripped off.... and it hurts.
he did the wrong thing.
Now to get through the process... want to just go through the process....don't be happy about it or angry about it...it is what you have to do to move forward into your future.
Keep your happiness to share with friends and family
Any emotion for those who appreciate them.
Don't want or care about him anymore... he is a big boy and can take care of himself...
Don't get caught up in any of his games.... just focus on what has to be done and get through it.
His emotional blackmail will only work if you care too much...
You are beautiful and there is someone who will appreciate your good values and loyalty.
But before going into a full on relationship - remember and visulize how you felt before HE came along....you were free...you were you.... fresh a person who made her own decisions and individual and hold on2 that into your next relationship.... develop your relationship with yourself.... get to find out about you again...what you really love....what you really want to do and need to do as an individual...
hope this helps....
and if you feel to cry....cry... you are missing you and you are sorry for hurting you and yes you deserve better...you deserve the best, the beautiful the wonderful the great......
keep asking... too....
and i give you permission to go and enjoy your freedom and your own company..... going to a film..... going to eat out...shopping and then going out with your friends...
peace to you
2006-11-15 20:26:24 · answer #6 · answered by lourdess777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I recently divorced due to my husband cheating on me. Of course he didn't want the divorce and tried to play like I was crazy. So my advice to you..... Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. Don't be caught in a boring routine. Get your hair done, buy some new clothes and get out there. Let him know that you aren't going to just curl up and die. You are a young vivacious woman and you are going to start living for yourself.
2006-11-15 21:15:57 · answer #7 · answered by Tina S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two words: Rebound lay. Fix yourself up and go to a bar. Let some 20 something guy fumble over himself trying to think of something intelligent to say to you. Laugh at him while he's trying to impress you, get you drunk, and get you into bed. Give him your number, make him take you out for dinner and buy you a trinket or two. Eventually let him into your bed make him beg a little, screw him silly, make him your toy. Then kick him to the curb. Your self esteem should return once you realize you can make a man jump through hoops for you and worship your body. Repeat as necessary until recovery is complete.
2006-11-15 20:07:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it can be difficult to start dating after you've been away from it for a while, but you are only 25! Try not to concentrate too much on your physical appearance. Believe it or not some of us guys care about intelligence, humor, thoughtfulness. You know, personality. When you remember that you have more to offer than a body you'll be more yourself, and that is attractive. His cheating really does have more to do with him than with you. Really.
2006-11-15 20:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in this exact situation right now...ha-ha but add 7 years and 2 kiddos ...do you think I'm in worse shape?
How did i get over it? I got counselling, hit the gym and got a social life. I lost 18kg and look better than i did when i married him. It doesn't change the fact that I am in an Asian country, so it's harder for men to accept a woman with 2 kids in tow, so dating again is harder for me. Also I am kinda off guys for the moment. I was a stay-at-home mum when he was unfaithful so i need this time to get back on my feet so that i can keep the kids and provide for them should he decides to be a bastard and not pay maintenance.
I agree with getting laid to get back your self-esteem. I'm getting back my self-esteem but to have other men attracted to you helps boost your confidence. Dun get hook on it though, honestly ONS or short flings like this will leave you empty.
My advice, do things for yourself right now. If you think you wanna be healthier, do it...for yourself, not so you can get a date. If you dun have kids, moving on is easier. If you do, focus on them. They deserve to have a happy mommy. I think if you feel gd abt yourself you become a better person and a better parent.
((HUGS))
2006-11-15 20:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by ikusburples 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋