Am i wrong to be angry and feel betrayed? This is one of the many lies he has told me. He has been paying his ex-wife more than he told me for the past 12 years. Why lie? His kids and i have a great relationship as he has with mine. We spoilt them and i dont care how much he spends on them, im the first one to go over board when i go shopping with them we live in seperate countries so we make the most of it. We spend 1000's on flights and it doesnt bother me. The thing is he lied about the amount, then his son turned 18 and he said he would stop paying his ex-wife, (he didnt stop paying) but as i thought he had, i was ok with him giving his son money to live on, now his son is 21 with a job, he is still paying child support to his ex-wife cause his son lives at home. When is it my turn ?? It hurts me that he lied and it hurts me that he doesnt care to save up for our future togeather. He has lost a lot of money through bad debt too , sick of his lies now he is begging me to stay ,
2006-11-15 19:45:41 · 8 answers · asked by angel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Until we get to the point where we have had enough, then the things that upset us will continue to happen because there are no consequences, we just keep on accepting the unacceptable. Your husband is begging you to stay, so you really are in a good position, that is if you want to stay with him. If you do want to stay with him, then you make a list of demands that will make you happy. Everything you have said is valid, and I would like to know why he is not saving for his future with you too.
Tell him his behaviour and lies are the reasons you are wanting to leave, so his behaviour has to change dramatically if he really wants to stay married to you. I would suggest he has made it his lifestyle to lie to you and it will be a hard habit to get out of. I think you both need intervention....marriage guidance counselling would probably be of benefit to both of you.
If he is serious. If he really loves you and wants the marriage to last, then he is the one who will have to make changes. If he is not prepared to make the changes then you need to stick to your guns and leave. There has to be consequences for everything and that is the only way we ever really learn. If there are no consequences then we are empowered to continue to do whatever it is we know is wrong.
Give him your list of demands.....see how he reacts and go from there.
Good luck
2006-11-15 19:57:07 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand where you are coming from and let me tell you - you are a good person. You put the kids first and that is commendable. Maybe he owes back support and that is why he is still paying. Can you check the amounts? I hope the best for you - good luck!
2006-11-16 01:10:08 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in case you have info which you have paid, then it's going to be brushed off from courtroom all mutually... additionally, verify to illustrate to the honorable decide you experience this has been a waste of his/her + the courts efficient time, and you prefer to no longer be in charge for any courtroom or criminal expenses on the account of the defendant/plaintiff (the ex-spouse) yet, whilst your there... its already scheduled courtroom time... are there any requests or lawsuits you will prefer to be cleared up in direction of the courts??? Now may be the perfect time to ask :) additionally, do the help funds pass in direction of the state or courtroom? if so, pass there and get actual statements. in case you pay to an account for the ex-spouse, touch the financial company for deposit statements besides :) only verify to have all your info waiting and accessible :)
2016-10-15 15:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him stay and make him go to counseling with you on this.
Next tell him no more payments unless oked by you. Find all the accounts he has money in and then get your butt involved in the payments of all your bills.
If he loves you he will agree. If not then I am sorry.
Get him to counseling to get over his guilt of leaving his children.
His guilt has nothing to do with feeling for his ex. It has to do with is children.
2006-11-15 22:10:25 · answer #4 · answered by Mit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have a big problem with the lying to. I no why he Lied to you and so do you let's be honest here.It 's the fact that he still shows that he cares what happens to his ex.You feel left out.
2006-11-15 19:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you with such a queer? Why make excuses for the hurt he causes you/ Grow some balls. You're a woman, a human being. Not a ragdoll that some loser boy can throw around. Get away from this boy who calls himself a man and open your eyes!!! Please!?!?!
2006-11-15 19:48:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your not wrong to be angry. Marriage is about honesty and respect. You have every right to be mad. If he is begging you to stay, maybe you should ask what hes willing to change.
2006-11-15 19:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by HarleeNicole 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kind always is the winner...
just open yr heart & accept it...
cos he is yrs now..
who r u going to angry or upset..??
angry = get older & stupid..
why dont u be hapi & be good..just to sure tat u r his better half??
2006-11-15 19:51:24 · answer #8 · answered by Rosia R 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋