The sex is for the most part, great. But I can never get her to fully "enjoy" herself. Are there any tricks of the trade to get "her motor running?" Any help is appreciated greatly and the best answer will be chosen subject to whether it worked or not. :-)
2006-11-15 18:09:01 · 18 answers · asked by jokerscard692000 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some women just don't have them or don't have them very often. You just have to try different things until you find out what works. But if you start doing something to her that she is not comfortable with, she will tense up on you and you sure don't want that to happen. What ever you do to her, you will be able to tell that she is enjoying it by the way she acts toward you.
At least you do care more about her than your own self. Most guys don't care. If they can get off they are happy and then leave the woman hanging so to speak. You are a good man for having feelings for her in this.
2006-11-15 19:21:29 · answer #1 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. Went through counseling, tried all the tricks, toys, strategies, etc. Talked it over until we couldn't think of anything else to say. Turns out, she has an organic problem that keeps her from ever getting out of "first gear". Nothing we can do. She has always been kind and accommodating to me, but she never gets to the finish line. I feel very sorry for her, although she doesn't seem to be disappointed or sad about it.
If, after all you can do - the suggestions here are very good - be sure to see if there might be something wrong with her chemistry or physiology. Otherwise, you will keep feeling inadequate and that's not good.
2006-11-16 02:38:27 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The guy who wrote about having a finger or two in the front with one in the back and licking the clit has it right. It sounds complex, but it's worth it. You cleaning bill will probably increase, but she'll forget you if you two ever divorce. Hopefully these sex techniques will only add to the quality of your relationship.
1. The night (or day) you plan to do it, and it's the moment you two see each other for the first time before going away, be sure to kiss her passionately. Don't play tonsil hockey, but try slow and steady movements, and be sure to tell her how much you miss or or how much she means to you. Pretend that it's the first time you've ever been intimate with her and you've been waiting for this for weeks. Don't ever take sexual contact for granted because you'll surely miss it if it's gone.
2. If you're like me and my girlfriend, we usually just whip off our own clothes. Don't do what we do, haha. Remove each other's clothes slowly and let the pressure build up. There's nothing wrong with a little tease. While you're going slow also, make her feel relaxed by kneeling by her feet while on the bed and giving her a foot massage. It'll only add to what's coming up (no pun intended). Be careful though as too much massage makes a person drowsy.
3. While in the act of um.. doing it, try not to push it in all the way. Push it in, but hold yourself back some. She'll be wanting it more and more until you decide it's time and really push it in deep. (I wonder how many Yahoo! women reading this are getting turned on... I hope my email address isn't posted on here)
4. We all like to do things our own way. However, I feel that sex is a sexception (just wanted to be funny). Maybe she likes to touch herself her own way. Either tell her to take your hand and show you how she likes it done, or have her demonstrate it herself and then let you try it on her. Not only will you be closer to getting her off in the way she likes, but she'll see that you're interested in pleasing her and that makes for good brownie points. I'm a guy and I too have my own favorite ways of doing things to my partner, and those are acceptable too. Some of those may get me off but not always my partner. On the other hand, maybe your technique does something spectacular to your wife and makes her feel tingly all over, and maybe isn't something she's experienced before. It's like introducing a color TV to someone who has only watched everything in black and white.
2006-11-16 02:59:59 · answer #3 · answered by Eric B 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Women operate much differently than men (& the ?able females in those sad porns). Your best bet is to seek her directly 4 advice, only she can tell you what she needs, likes, desires. If she's uncomfortable, share your discomforts. . . Often times (more oft than not), a woman experiences hinderances d/t upbringing, self-esteem, etc. However, less she recognizes and deals with such hinderances, U R basically lmtd in getting her to fully open up to you as her husband (4 now).
2006-11-16 02:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by 4everFaithful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of that is in her own head, not to make you sweat but for women much of it is mental.
You can play with her more...foreplay, the longer the better.
Try to get her to relax and enjoy herself.
Do you give her oral and if you do, do you work the entire area good?
Passion from you is helpful.
Try different areas of the house.
Try to have sex when stress(for her) is minimal.
Talk sh_t to her to make her want it.
Good luck and keep trying....!
You are a great man just for asking...
mandy
2006-11-16 02:28:47 · answer #5 · answered by cking_pOise... 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1) If my guy were this concerned with my pleasure, just for the notion I would treat him like a king every single day. Marry me?
2) Some women just can't do it in the presence of another person. Too many mental or emotional hangups. I can do for myself in about 38 seconds, but with my man it takes a solid 20 minutes. Too much work for both of us and rarely works "completely."
If you really want to know how to float her boat, the single only answer is to have her explain to you how to do it. If she's too shy to say it, give her some wine.
Most of all, be persistent. If she says, "no I can't say it" - continue to press her for the info.
2006-11-16 03:03:20 · answer #6 · answered by Ade 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi,,, hmm,,, why not go to the book store and pick out some reading material on the subject... and practice with your wife.. that is what it takes actually.... she will know when your doing things right....
good luck
2006-11-16 02:13:01 · answer #7 · answered by eejonesaux 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tried more kissing n more caressing or more masturbating and licking... make her more 'high' before you goes into penetration. Like this, it's not only make her 'enjoy' herself, but maybe both can cummed at the same time which the feeling is great too...
2006-11-16 02:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by porridge0000 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
We have been together for 7 years and I know nothing turned me on more than my guy backing me up to the wall, and whispering "I want you". I wish I could tell him to do that now. The heavy breathing...ahhh...nothing like it!
2006-11-16 02:11:40 · answer #9 · answered by Evelynne B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some women get off when you are eating them out stick one finger ( or how ever many she can fit) in her honey hole and another finger in her fudge pipe and push them in and out while eating out. Some of them love that.
2006-11-16 02:17:01 · answer #10 · answered by NEED HELP 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋