Someone i love very much has this problem. He lies about stupid things and makes up elaborate stories. We have talked about this and he is doing better. By talking to him ive figured out that this started because he is uncomfortable showing himself to people. So im thinking this is out of insecurity...
2006-11-15 17:50:35 · 12 answers · asked by Trouble918 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
This isn't an inconsequential habit in my opinion...it isn't something to be taken lightly...this could be something that is a result of childhood trauma or experience that manifests itself in compulsive behavioral disorder...If you really wish to aid this person I would offer with quite certainty that professional counseling co-ordinated by a licensed phsychologist would be the appropriate course of action..
2006-11-15 17:55:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you can ever change him. It's a compulsion and they can't stop. I had a friend like that and he would tell elaborate stories about himself and other people would believe him and it would just make me sick. He told stuff like: He was in New York and met an actress on the street and introduced himself and they went out and she was going to call him and - He went on a cruise to Russia and sang Kareoke on the ship and he was so good they asked him to do a show and gave him the trip for free, etc. You get the idea. It got where every time he opened his mouth, I thought he was lying. I broke all contact with him and even though I missed him for a while, it is much nicer to not have all the drama he caused. Either learn to live with it or get out now.
2006-11-15 18:05:29 · answer #2 · answered by nesmith52 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't.
They will get caught in lies several times and still lie to you the next day. I know a family member who is like this and always has been. I have caught him in sooooooooooooo many lies and so has everyone else. He will come up and lie right to you. You can't believe anything he says and have to go to the source or get second person affirmations.
I don't think it is insecurity, because a lot of this gets him ahead. He is super confident. He can walk in and have everyone focused on him. He calls it bull****ting, and it can get you ahead in the workplace and in life. I don't understand it, but the person I know has not even graduated from high school and has a designing job with his own office making 50,000 a year. He just walks in and gets the job.
2006-11-15 18:10:26 · answer #3 · answered by AveGirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
You can't make him change, but you can suggest counselling. Either he will choose to seek professional help to try to change his behaviour or he won't.
Why does he lie? Who knows? I had a friend in high school who would lie all the time - and they were often funny lies, too. She once claimed that she met Leonardo DiCaprio on the internet and he was going to her place for Christmas dinner. When school resumed in January we asked her how Christmas with Leo went and quite seriously she fumed, "He stood me up, the dolt! He apologized but I'm still mad." Even when we caught her out she would keep on going. I think she was just afraid of being boring or letting the conversation drop.
So where was I? Oh yeah. Your guy is clearly getting something out of this lying and either he will change his behaviour or he won't, but it's completely up to him. The only thing I'd say there is for you to do is to decide - if he keeps lying - whether you're willing to remain with a guy who lies or if you'd rather move on.
cheers,
Victoria
2006-11-15 18:04:39 · answer #4 · answered by Victoria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lived with this problem for awhile. It wasn't that i became rather cheating, yet i'd pad a tale with some untruth, that many times made me look stable. This habit had substitute into so ingrained that i'd locate myself mendacity without needing made the alternative to lie. What I did - First I had to admit to myself that i became no longer on top of problems with my mendacity. yet, i found out, I did have administration over what got here approximately next. So each and every time that i found myself mendacity, the subsequent difficulty i'd say is, "i'm sorry, yet I only lied to you," and would tell the reality of the problem. My objective right here became to embarrass ego plenty that it would be afraid to coach is gruesome mendacity self. It took approximately 3 months, yet because of the fact that factor i'm, greater or much less, on top of problems with my speech. when you have the telling the reality component of speech down, then you definately can pass directly to greater subtle speech administration disciplines, inclusive of a vow never to injury yet another with one's speech. you comprehend, that form of difficulty. Kuma
2016-10-15 15:00:36 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, the only way out of that problem is through humiliation, or at least its the only one I know of. I had that problem. The only thing that really stopped me was fear of getting caught and humiliated.
Your right, it is out of insecurity, but if you take the approach of trying to boost him self-esteem more than you normally would, he'll go along with it, start lieing to himself and continue what he's doing. It sounds harsh, but the only way to stop him from lieing is calling attention to the problems they create and the bad situations they place him in.
Hope I helped.
2006-11-15 18:03:22 · answer #6 · answered by Michael M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the SAME EXACT THING... no joke. And you are right when you say that he does it because he is insecure... atleast most likely... They always feel like they need a story to tell, and they want to impress us... so they lie. Or sometimes its they do something so minor that might hurt our feelings they rather lie.
My bf told me he had a full ride to college in track when he first met me to try to "impress" me, i could of cared less really.
He told me that some girl liked him before he met me and he didnt like her... when it was the other way around.
And when we started dating hed tell me his friend aaron was over when it was his friend mitch ...
he told me he doesnt know why he does it, it just comes out
he started to stop once he told his final lie and it was bigger and it was he lied about sneaking out and doing drugs with his buddies, that upset me so much and i found out and was crying in front of his mom cuz he got in all this trouble when i was trying to help him and i thot he was done lying... but ever since he saw me like that he doesnt wanna hurt me like that again. and now he doesnt lie, and i always check up on him and i kno he doesnt...
what you do is make sure he sees how much it hurts you
then always check up on him if he complains about how you need to trust him tell him that he needs to gain it back first...
and then things will hopefully start progressing.. (sorry this answer was so long haha)
2006-11-15 17:56:12 · answer #7 · answered by yourguardianangel88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a man who had this problem and it drove people away. He is a clever, bright, funny person, but....when he begins telling stories they get stranger and more and more absurd as the lying escalates.
He began going to church and has rebuilt his self esteem and his lying has been reduced to almost nonexistent levels. The change is extraordinary. His wife was ready to leave him it got so bad but now he is a contributing citizen in his community and household.
I know it sounds simple and I know it is not easy but it worked for him.
2006-11-15 18:53:03 · answer #8 · answered by FrogDog 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Medication. Any type of compulsive behavior such as lying can be helped with meds. If he does it for the reasons you think he does then counseling would be advisable along with the meds.
2006-11-15 17:54:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
itsa really complicated process, in most cases its impossible to completely curem, but... ifya start catchin him in every lie, or everytime he lies to you dont talk to him for (amount of time heer)
guarntee if the feelings r mutual he'll stop lien, so much
lol
2006-11-15 17:54:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋