How does a person just fall out of love with someone?

Question

My husband told me he wanted a divorce and that he doesn't love me, and just doesn't want to be married. I can't understand it, or receive a clear concise answer from him to understand what is happening. All he will say is point blank, he is getting a divorce no matter what and he doesn't want to be married. He says nothing more or less. It is not like we are fighting, we are very cival, he lives with his mom right now, but we still sleep together too. I asked him to come home today, and he said no. That is when he said he didn't want to be married, and didn't want to work on things, and he was getting a divorce and nothing would change that. He told our four year old that he doesn't love me anymore either. Our son point blank asked him. Anyone with ideas about this?

Answer 1

Could there be another woman in the picture? I'm just asking this because it seems so sudden and for no apparent reason. Either that or the marriage has been over for him long before he announced he wanted a divorce. Just a thought.

Answer 2

This has been going on for awhile because nobody just falls out of love that way at all. I'm sure that if you look hard into the past just a bit, that you could see where it has been going down hill a bit. He may or may not be seeing someone else. Some guys after awhile decide that they just really don't want to be married any more , but it still don't happen over night. This does not just apply to the men either. It happens to the women too. If he wants a divorce, you can not stop him from getting it. It really sounds like a case of no communication between you two.

Answer 3

could you have told your four year old this? I hope not. It sounds like hubby doesn't like the responsibility of making a marriage work. Everyone likes the good times, like the sleeping together part, but what have you got if you can't depend on him to be there when you need other things. Maybe he's just a Momma's boy that needs a real Momma to tell him to grow up and go home to his wife and son. It takes a whole lotta guts to make a marriage work, and a whole lotta time in prayer, nobody said it was easy, it's probably one of the hardest things that you will ever do. But it's also one of the most rewarding when you do it right. If he gets his divorce then he's the quitter. I don't think the question is "how does a person fall out of love with someone", but maybe HE NEEDS TO FALL IN LOVE FIRST, with someone besides himself.

Answer 4

This is always such a sad situation, even more so because you have a child. sometimes we just grow apart and there is two answers, separate and start separate lives or try to learn who you both have grown into and maybe learn to love each other again, perhaps you will remain married, perhaps not, but either way you need to be nice to each other for your son's sake. since your husband has moved out and asked you for a divorce, there can be no coming back for sex, you will have to be strong and say okay lets define our new boundaries, and both work out how and when you will do things so that your son can still see his father and you can both remain civil to each other. If your husband is adamant about a divorce, that may be the way it ends up, but you could ask him if he would like to attend some marriage counseling with you, even if the divorce goes ahead, counseling will give you both ideas and advice on how to react to each other so that you can interact in the future, without messiness and nastiness. i am sorry for your sadness, it is hard to understand when this happens, and perhaps the reason your husband won't give you any answers, is he probably doesn't know why things have changed, just that they have. good luck with sorting things out.

Answer 5

He has pretty much told you all that there is to say. He doesn't WANT to be married to you. That's it there IS nothing more. Yes people can "just fall out of love" As we age and mature our wants/needs change and so do we. We go through different phases of our lives and sometimes what we wanted/needed in our 20s isn't what we want/need 10-15-20 years down the road. Your son asked him a question and he answered your son honestly, as much as it hurts you it was better for the boy in the long run. Now it's time for you to start searching for a lawyer and to figure out things like custody and child support.

Answer 6

Your husband is seeing another woman I no you don't went to believe that . Think back when all this started did he come home from work every day a little later until it got to the point where he did not care what you thought about him coming home late from work .Did he start to do what ever he wanted regardless of your feelings.And did he also leave you home crying and begging him to stay home with you because you love him.Does any of this sound formilor and if it does then your husband the father of your child the man you have been sleeping with and bonding with over the years is going out and doing all the things the two of you use to do.Your husband still loves you only he doesn't no that .He was # one in your eyes then here comes the baby that took his place.A man needs to feel that he is the most important person in your life he doesn't no how to share.He sees you giving all your love and affection to this baby and leaving him out in the cold to fend for himself .Here comes a woman that makes him feel the way you use to make him feel.To justify what he is feeling he makes you out to be the bad guy here.If you want your husband back you need to let him see that he isn't the only man around and your not going to set around waiting for him to get his head on stranght.You can tell him you love him until you are blue in the face it won't do any good because he sees you as the one who cause this mess.The only thing you can do now is be good and be yourself he will see this and slowly but surely his love will survive. I wish you all the luck please hang in there if not for him then for your son. Remember he is losing his father and in his eyes he will think he is the cause so be very very careful with him p.s. my husband put me through the samething almost word for word. He came back to me.And yes it was about another woman someone he worked with.

Answer 7

Are you sure there is not another woman in his life? People just don't fall out of love without a reason. Evidently he is not happy or satisfied with your married life but you see nothing wrong ! ! He is still your husband but don't let him use you for a "booty call". Try harder to communicate because that is the only way you will find out what is going on with him.

Answer 8

People lose interest in other people all time. He probably feel like y'all have grown apart. It not a negative thing it's just something that happens sometimes. He's might have even found someone he feels he is more compatible with and that may have triggered his thought of him feeling unsure of wanting to spend the rest of his life with you. You should stop having sex with him because as long as you continue to have sex with him you are going to stay attached to him, and keep wishing for him. More than likely he's not taking the whole sex thing as serious as you probably are, so i would suggest you to just move on with your life, because it is quite clear that he is trying to do the same.

Answer 9

First thing is stop sleeping with him !!!!! If he is telling you he don't love you anymore, then why are letting him still sleep with you? He has something going on in his life and you will be the last to know but don't waste another minute allowing him to belittle you like that, if he's still sleeping with you and he has a girlfriend , then don't risk getting a disease. You get on with your life and raise your son. Hurt him where it'll really hurt him MONEY.

Answer 10

He has found someone else and does not want to be divorced
for adultry...
Don't worry though , abandonment is almost as good as far as the
courts are concerned...
When you say you "sleep" together...Does that mean sex ??
If so, then it is even weirder...
You are right, unless you have done something really bad and
unforgivable that you are not revealing, then there is something
going on with him / in his life that you don't know about...