I'm 22 and have been married for 4.5 months. I love my husband dearly, but his family cannot stand me for the most retarded reasonsthat are too numerous to name here. Do I dare stay in my marriage or let it go before things get worse? IF I leave, how much is a divorce in Texas?
2006-11-15 15:54:42 · 36 answers · asked by behind_hazel_eyes22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been married 4.5 months. My husband's family has hated me the entire 4 years we've known each other b/c i'm not "pretty" and I "do not have the same personality" as he does. We got married not as an act of defiance, but because we love each other. My husband has tried desperately to get them to lay off, but to no avail. Should I leave?
2006-11-15 16:08:18 · update #1
As much as every woman wants to get along with her in-laws, you have to realize you didn't marry them. You married HIM! Your loyalty lies with your husband, not his family. You made a commitment to love and honor HIM. Stop taking what his family does and says like its the Gospel. You and your husband are ONE in God's eyes, and don't let anyone or anything come between you. Please try and work your marriage out. If you need to get counseling...get it. If you need to move away from his parents to grow as a couple...move. Whatever it takes to make your marriage work...DO IT. (as long as you are not being abused mentally and physically by your husband). P.S. ..just so you know, the first 2 years of marriage are the worst because two people are coming together as one and they have to get to know each other.....Be encouraged...I will be praying for you and your husband....
2006-11-15 16:06:10 · answer #1 · answered by Monique 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! Have you discussed how you feel with your husband? I'm sure if you are considering this option, you must feel very overwhelmed by the situation. But, you guys married because you are in love and wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. What if you take a step back from the situation and discuss ways you and he can try to work on the relationship with his parents. Ideally, I feel most times, it is much better for new couples to live a distance from either set of parents...at least an hour or so. if that's not possible, limit the amount of time spent together. the first year, especially, should be spent building a foundation of trust and support; really learning to depend on each other.
2006-11-15 16:16:28 · answer #2 · answered by kb1123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only important thing is how the two of you feel for each other. If you want to stay married just ignore everyone else . My condition is too somewhat similar. What I've learnt to do is that think the other people do not exist at all. After six years I ve somewhat learnt to switch off and sometimes I literally don't ever hear what anuone is saying. Ignore like dirt is the policy. I dont have issues of any sort. And never have arguments because that leads to accusations and brings me on to the offensive and that spoils the relation betwen me and my husband. We are important to each other and want to be together
2006-11-15 16:06:36 · answer #3 · answered by pakir poyum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, if you want to know the cost of a divorce in Texas you should contact the county courthouse where you live to find out.
Also, you didn't marry your husband's family you married your husband. So what if they don't like you. You have better things to do with your life/time than to worry about a bunch of jackasses and their opinions of you.
Have you talked to your husband about why they don't like you? Has any of them come right out and said that they don't like you? Have they even taken the time to get to know you?
Sweetie, life is too short to worry about small-minded people. If you love husband as you say you do then to hell with the rest of them.
Don't let your in-laws ruin your marriage. When they push you need to push back. Always kill them with kindness. It will piss them off every time. First and foremost, always be polite until it's time to NOT be polite.
I wish you luck. I know what you are going through. I have been there done that. Thank goodness I put a stop to the bullcrap. I have been married for 14yrs now and my in-laws mind their business now.
2006-11-15 16:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really sad. I was in the same boat; went to marriage counseling 3 mos in. We stayed together 3 yrs but he never really stood by me, his family always intervened. If the problem is w/ the family only I wouldn't end my marriage but if your husband is just as bad as they are that probably won't change. And don't have a child thinking that will help. "They" say the first year is the hardest if you can at least get to that you will have a more definite answer.
2006-11-15 15:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are considering a divorce at only 4.5 months, to the point where you are looking for a price tag...you've got bigger problems than his family's distaste for you. It doesn't sound as though you thought this whole thing through BEFORE you took your vows...you know, those "'til death" or "as long as you both shall live" things you repeated or said "I do" to. How can you say your marriage may be over when it hasn't really even started?
Suck it up...give it a chance...you made a commitment. Honor it.
2006-11-15 16:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by neumannsboat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation like you. I told to his family not to come to my house any more. If they want to see my doughtier, my husband has to take her to there house. since then i got peace in my life. You will have better relationship when u stay away from his family but that depend on your husband he has to stand up for u and agree with what u decide other wise if he is on his family side may be you guys should go to counselor.
Good luck!
2006-11-15 16:08:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, you love him and you married him because of him-not his parents. I say stay if your relationship with HIM is good. When you marry someone, that is the family that you are supposed to be dedicated too and considered 1st in your life. Running will only let them win and they will be able to say well, if she really love you should would have stayed. But at the same time, if he loves you he will make them respect you.
2006-11-15 16:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by RoxieC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said the problem was your husband family not your husband so why would you leave.If things are fine with you and him I wouldnt leave unless you live with his family. If thats the case move out.It has only been a few month why are you given up in such a short time ?
2006-11-15 15:58:52 · answer #9 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to leave because his family doesn't like you, then you weren't ready to get married in the first place. You married him, not his family. If your relationship is good other than the "family issues," then you really should try to talk to him. If you just up and leave over something like that, you are only proving his family right for thinking you weren't good enough for him.
2006-11-15 15:58:13 · answer #10 · answered by mjboog2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋