I met this girl in a chatroom and we became friends almost instantly. She's a very nice girl and we share a lot in common in terms of our anxiety and depression. Today we were chatting online and she started really getting upset. She's in college and she always has a lot of schoolwork. I called her (I live in Philly, she lives in Seattle) and she was bawling telling me how nobody cares about her and even her family doesn't care about her and she doesn't know what's wrong and she doesn't know how to fix it. I tried really hard to calm her down and try to make her think positive and I told her she needs to relax once in a while and not overwork herself, but she says if she does that she will fall behind and feel even worse. I really wish I could just fly over there and just be there for her because it appears I'm the only person she can count on. She goes to a therapist but she tells me she doesn't help out. What can I do to keep her from getting this upset? Its killing me.
2006-11-15 15:49:49 · 12 answers · asked by BKelly237 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This something that is needed for your friend to do, not you. Its unfortunate yes what she is going through, however that is too much of burden for you. What can you truly do? Other than speaking with her, and reassuring her with positive speaking. I understand that its bugging you, however theres really not much you can do. Remember, to get a hold of authorities if she mentions suicide or the like in any of your conversations.
2006-11-15 15:53:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it's kind of hard to really help her since you're in different states but from your end just be there for her be her friend and a listener. just be supportive. make her see all the positives she has in her life. ex. she has her health, she's in college trying to make something of herself. I don't know too much about your friend but just point out the positives she has. tell her that if she really thinks that her family doesn't care about her that she could make her own family and what I mean by that is that she could get a group of good friends and share an apartment. just make her feel special and important and remind her of the positive things she has going on in her life
2006-11-15 16:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by bettygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the best thing you can do is just be there for them. I have been through depression, and still suffer from it. My friends have all had to realise that they can't pull me out of it. And in reality, I know that all I want is for them to listen and understand. If you have things in common like you say, and you can relate to her like you do, then you are doing the best you can. Maybe call her every second day to see how she is going, or send her cheerful emails.
Just a reminder, never say "you will be fine" or "things will get better". When you are in such a depressed state you don't want anything to be brushed off. You need to know that your friends understand how hopeless you feel.
2006-11-15 15:56:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a really tough one... tell her over and over again that you care and that others care too... let her vent and cry at will it is actually very therapeutic to cry and to scream at someone even if it is not the one causing the problems just let her know that you are there for her to talk to anytime and not to worry that things have a way of working themselves out for the best if she is a religious person then tell her that god does not give us more than we can handle and sometimes we may think he has more faith in us than we deserve but it usually works out in the end just keep her talking and try to make her laugh at something anything to change her mood
2006-11-15 15:58:35 · answer #4 · answered by hda77137 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww I know how that is really I've had to deal with that before. The best thing you can do is just let her know that if she ever needs someone to talk to then you are there for her. Tell her to take it easy and there really are people that care about her even if she doesn't realize it now. Everyone has someone that cares about them even if they dont know it. Tell her that she is never alone and can always come to you to talk. Hope this helps. Good luck!
2006-11-15 15:55:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to take everything one step at a time and I think she needs a break. She should try to talk to her family about it especially because problems are real hard without a lot of family and friends. She shouldn't worry so much.
2006-11-15 15:55:04 · answer #6 · answered by lost for words 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she should talk to her brother. If I were you I would talk to a counsler to see what you can do as her friend to make "AMY" better. I know that your having a hard time but everything will work out. It sounds lame but you should tell a respected adult about your issue so that they can make sure that amy has care. You will need to be there for her and make her realize that she has something to live for. But if amy goes downhill it is NOT your fault. But like I said talk to a respected adult first
2016-03-28 22:05:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try to remember that you cant fix your friend you can be a good friend be supportive and caring but ultimatlly its her choice on which direction her life will travel.You cant put yourself as an enabler because than you will cease to actually be helpful.You may want to advise her to seek counseling.Although we all look for the night in shining amor to save us sometimes it is only acheivable by that person.Continue to be a good friend listen,care it seems as though that is what she needs most.
2006-11-15 15:56:09 · answer #8 · answered by resigned 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this might sound silly, but tell her to get a boyfriend. Being in a relationship can completely kill depression. It worked for me.
2006-11-15 15:53:58 · answer #9 · answered by awesome_nickname 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not responsible for her. You don't even know her in real life. She could be completely lying to you to play on your emotions for attention.
2006-11-15 15:52:27 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋