I am an empty nester, alone these days. I recently found a friend, of the opposite sex, and opposite "flavor", but we both hit it off. We talked at least 3 times a week on IM for 2 to 5 hours a time, for 2 1/2 years. Recently I did something really nice for this person, and due to another person butting in, I got upset. All of a sudden it was my fault, and we have done nothing but send nasty emails to each other. It's been 6 weeks now, and altho it's said we will get on line and talk, now I don't beleive it. I feel used by this person, and still can't talk about it without tears. Am I the idiot? Did I go too far? I feel so used by this person, and now see them writing on the board where we met, like nothing is wrong. I am still hurting, and actually thought I had a true friend. Why does it hurt so bad, when will it stop, and will we ever get back together? And if we do, do I want to.....this is why I don't date....it hurts too much. I feel like I will be alone forever.
2006-11-15 15:37:46 · 8 answers · asked by cantwin 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Finding a perfect match, isn't just about finding the right person, it's being the right person. You told me you got upset. That was your doing, not theirs. You choose how to react to a situation. If it's truly in your mind to like someone, you'll like them. If not, you won't. That's how it works. I think from now on you should expect the best, love like you've never been hurt, Trust like you've never had someone break your trust, and live life to the fullest for it's too short to only be focusing on these negative aspects. that's the whole problem here. You're letting your fears control the situation. Stop the worries, stop the what-ifs, stop it all. Simply focus on the best and expect the best from those you meet and you'll be surprised on how often that'll be what you get from them. It'll be Amazing. Focusing on negative things, controls your luck towards negative occurances for the brain cannot be aware of something unless it is in it's mind to be aware of it. In other words, if you're asleep, you'll never hear the thunderstorm. But even if you were to wake, if you saw the heavens watering the plants instead of a scary scene outside, you'd be on the right path to having the mindset of those who live very very magical happy, dreamlike lives.
2006-11-15 15:53:08 · answer #1 · answered by Answerer 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take responsibility for your own feelings. No one wants that job anyway.
Accept people as they are. Don't assume they owe you anything just because you have feelings for them.
Do not try to change people. Don't get all emotionally invested in someone and expect them to change how they are to suit your needs. Same reason you don't but shoes that are three sizes too small...
Let go of the baggage. Admit that something didn't work, and quit blaming other people for your actions. Baggage is like picking up poop and sticking it in your pocket. It's not like you are fooling anyone, and it's no wonder good people avoid you.
Quit being so needy and desperate. You are responsible for your own happiness, not anyone else.
Build yourself up from the inside out. Try something new like kickboxing or throwing darts. Practice and get goodenough to teach someone else. Accomplishments build self-estem.
With more elf-esteem, you are less likely to be mislead, or offended by someone else's bad behavor.
Choose not to be a professional voctim, but rather a survivor overcoming adversity,
You will be fine, you just have to decide to put yourself first, and not rely on anyone esle to be ok.
2006-11-15 15:56:44 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, when looking for people to date/good friends, do not use the internet! Of course sites like Eharmony.com and others are ok because you actually meet the person face to face. Character is next to impossible to judge online. Go out and join some clubs, get to know some genuine people like yourself.
2006-11-15 17:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by Alamo323 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do no longer think of your guy chum rather is familiar with what he needs. you will desire to tell him which you have been straightforward with him and you in effortless terms prefer to comprehend no rely if or no longer he has thoughts for you. If he likes you, yet relatively doesnt desire a relationship with you (a minimum of no longer suitable now) then youre high quality with that and youll nevertheless be his chum. If he doesnt such as you, then thats high quality too. only permit him comprehend that the way he's performing is complicated you and making you ask your self what's happening between the two considered one of you. wish i helped!!
2016-10-15 14:55:59 · answer #4 · answered by ellefson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like your not the one at loss, they are . you deserve a friend that lets you exsplain and can get over it . just keep looking it takes years sometimes to find the right one , until then have fun checking em all out .
2006-11-15 15:56:45 · answer #5 · answered by porcelain65711 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
insecurity
2006-11-15 15:38:56 · answer #6 · answered by St♥rmy Skye 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe something to do with the people you were brought up around????...
2006-11-15 15:48:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
your pickin from the wrong gardens. :)
2006-11-15 15:39:06 · answer #8 · answered by CeKaye L 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋