A dear friend of mine is going through a divorce after almost10 years and the thing said to him was "I love you but I am not In love with you anymore" What kind of explanation is this?
2006-11-15 15:27:41 · 14 answers · asked by rjteacup 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think in a long marriage you go through that in cycles. You cant always be in love deeply and passionatly ALL the time. There are times when you just really care for someone, love them like a friend, but do not have the deep, passionate feelings you used to. But it does come back if you care for and respect the person you have chosen. Stress, problems and work can be hard on love.
But I think it is a shame so many people give up when they lose those "in love" feelings for awhile. They usually do come back, sometimes with an even deeper love than before, and dating is the pits. The grass isnt always greener. What you have might be the best your going to get!
2006-11-15 17:09:26 · answer #1 · answered by Blondana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if that's exactly a good way of terminating a ten year marriage but from a kinda "puppy love" level, I understand that there is a difference. Love is an emotion that can be shared with just about anyone whereas to be "in love" with someone, you have to love them for all that they are! Their good/bad, their strengths/weaknesses, and all else. When you are "in love", there's not much that can separate you from that person emotionally. They will always be a part of you and you practically understand and are capable of dealing with every particle of their existence. It seems as if actually being "in love" is what is required to maintain a healthy marriage. A question your friend should possibly have for their ex is, were you ever really "in love" with me and if so, when was it that you "fell out of love"?
2006-11-15 23:42:17 · answer #2 · answered by MACH3LL3MYB3LL3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that answer is yes. Everyone loves people differently. You love your family, right? And I am assuming you love your friends too, right? Although you love them all, it is somewhat different, right?(I am guessing you are thinking or picturing it . . . imagining it as you read it). It is also different when you are "in love" with someone. You want to do more or share more with that person . . . do things that are special or that only you and that person do with the other.
I think that situation, although I know nothing about it, sounds like she thinks she might have found something better and although she does not "want" the husband as she used to, she still does not wish bad on him. As far as "what kind of explination" that is . . . . PATHETIC. There better be LOTS of reasoning and examples behind it and they better be good, or, they are just empty(i.e. found something/someone better)
2006-11-15 23:35:55 · answer #3 · answered by Batracer04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens, married, engaged etc.....you can love someone dearly, but the romantic interest dies out, before the relationship does. There should be an attempt to get it going again before calling it quits. But sometime we just out grow the other person. As we get older we look for other things (not intentionally) just happens. Sometimes as we grow our taste does as well, and what we seek in a companion. I do wish these things never happened. If it's any consolation to your friend I'm sure he feels just as bad, or worse. That's if he really loved her to begin with!
2006-11-16 00:19:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, you can love someone due to certain circumstances-time spent with them, because they cared for you, because you have been through alot with them. When you are in love with someone-there is a happiness, a never like before feeling. Seeing/hearing that person brightens your day and face, you think about that person all day,every day. Being in love with someone is more emotional and deep. I love you is just a mutual statement.You can love someone but not be in love with them. You can't be in love with someone and not love them though.
2006-11-16 01:00:41 · answer #5 · answered by RoxieC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love you = You are a dear friend, and I love you like one.
Not IN love with you= I can't love you the way you deserve to be loved.
2006-11-15 23:29:29 · answer #6 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its simple. She love him but shes not in love with him. You can love anyone like a family member, like i love all my friends i care about they well being but if ur in love with someone thats more on a relationship type basis. You'll do anything for that person, that person is ur soul mate forever. But by her saying that to him means she no longer get them chills up her spine when she sees him, no longer feel attached to that person. Im sorry for ur friend too, i kno it hurts.
2006-11-15 23:32:02 · answer #7 · answered by Sweetheart88 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me that wouls mean that there is love in her heart for him because they have been together for a long time though she isnt heart strung with him anymore. she isnt getting the feeling she used to when they would do stuff and would kiss and things like that.. good example i love my boyfriend with all my heart and i am fully in love with him. though i still love my ex though it doesnt feel the same. i hope this helps some
2006-11-15 23:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by loveinit2345 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The spiritual bond between them was no longer there even though the physical unions may have been regular.
2006-11-15 23:30:23 · answer #9 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those who have been "in love" never would ask this question.
Yes there's definitely a difference.
2006-11-15 23:31:38 · answer #10 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋