i am frustrated with life. My wife was seeing a guy in her office. The guy is better looking than me. This happened a couple of months back. She came upfront and told me about it but later on i came to know of a couple of details that she lied about. She says she has nothing to do with the guy now, but i suspect something is still going on. I have two kids and i love my family. I love my wife but i just cannot carry on with my life. The thoughts of she being with that person haunt me day and night. i dont know wat to do. I cant live with her and i cannot imagine life without her. I cant die bcos my kids are too young. what do i do? can anyone outthere help me?
2006-11-15 15:24:42 · 12 answers · asked by k s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, dying is not an option here -- you have 2 children that love you and depend on you. Be the responsible parent here.
I feel for you -- I really do. Years ago, my wife of 6 years told me matter-of-factly that she had a boyfriend and that our marriage was over. I felt like my world had ended. But it did not. Life went on, and I had to find the courage to pick up and begin again. I and I alone am responsible for how I deal with what life throws at me.
You suspect that your wife is still cheating? Act -- do not react. If she refuses to get marriage counseling, then hire a private investigator to follow her. This might sound harsh, but you should expect nothing less than the two of you to be faithful to each other. There is no excuse whatsoever for a person to have an extramarital affair.
One who does is, in effect, telling the other spouse that they are not worth much and that their own pleasure means more to them than the children they have.
Whatever you decide to do, decide that you will follow through with it.
2006-11-15 15:42:37 · answer #1 · answered by calledkevinalot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tomorrow is always going to come no matter what. You not being here for you children will just make things worse for them. Suicide is a cowards way out. You both need to get help. If she refuses then she's not going to hang around any way. It could be better that she don't if she doesn't want help. If she agrees go right away and if you don't attend a church, it might help if you started when you get back on the right road. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-11-15 23:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
been in V ERY similar situation earlier this year. first off, GET AWAY FROM HER. move out, change phone #, whatever you have to do. if ya got a feelin something is still going on, more than likely you are right. trust your gut. next, worry about NO ONE but you and YOUR KIDS. in other words, knock off the suicide talk. weak way to go out plus you arent thinking of your kids. next, while away from your wife, decide if you want a divorce or not. if you BOTH want to stay together, get counseling. DONOT get back together without it. being apart doesnot fix problems.if you get a divorce, realize you WILL survive and go on with your life---even if you dont think so right now. try your very best to make the divorce as smooth as possible for the kids. good luck. been in that same hole before. trust me, eventually you will see daylight. god bless.
2006-11-15 23:39:30 · answer #3 · answered by tnkster71 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing you need to realize is that no woman is worth ending your life over, as a matter of fact nothing is worth taking your own life. You have your kids to think about, they should be your number one priority. Think about the pain that you would cause them if you were to take your own life and leave them alone in this world without their father. They need you, they will aways need you and you have a responsibility to ALWAYS be there for them. Second, PLEASE seek some professional help immediately so that you can get through this rough time in your life. You need to talk about this with someone who knows how to handle these situations and feelings so that you can go on with your life and be there for your children!
2006-11-15 23:33:34 · answer #4 · answered by qtee425 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry that you are going through such a rough time. it's important for you to reach out for help. i think it would be good to talk to a counsellor or a faith leader if you have one. you may want to consider marriage counselling, if you feel you can handle the emotions it will bring up. however, right now you sound so down that i think it would be good to deal your own emotions first. most communities in North America have suicide prevention lines or distress centres. you can look one up in the phone book. reach out and get some of these feelings off your chest. your kids need you and you sound like a good guy. your life is worth living even if you feel lousy about it right now. i wish you all the best and hope you feel better.
2006-11-16 00:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by cotopaximary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something similar happened to me years ago, and I let it mess up my life for a year and a half. Make goals and plans and execute them one by one. You have to realize that your wife's behaviour is not likely to change and like it or not, you and your kids have to survive. Put a lid on the hurt, and make sure you keep yourself and the little guys in the forefront of your life. I hope things work out for you, make damned sure your Ts are crossed and your Is dotted because she likely will. Good luck and remember don't feel isolated, lean on your friends and family and don't forget to access this forum. The people here are all smart and full of ideas so use your resources to survive.
2006-11-15 23:45:44 · answer #6 · answered by ron k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you can not live without her play the waiting game for a while, maybe the guy will stop seeing her. Be nice to her, but do not mention the other man and see how she reacts. You should prepare your mind to accept that she might move on and you do not want to be caught by surprise. Go to talk to a professional by yourself if she does not want to go with you.
2006-11-15 23:42:08 · answer #7 · answered by RY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can't live without her then you'll have to live with the fact that she could still be seeing the other guy. you have to make a choice. stay with her and just shut up or leave her and start a new life with the kids.
i think if you file for a divorce you get custody of the children because she is the one committing adultery. make up your mind, be a man. in your situation, there is no grey area.
2006-11-15 23:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you need to ask her is if she still loves you. I fully believe that this type of pain and mistrust can be overcome, but you both have to want it. I agree that professional help is needed instead of here. Just don't give up on life. It sounds like your kids mean to much to you for that to happen.
2006-11-15 23:32:42 · answer #9 · answered by rjteacup 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do the silent party... i do it...just ignore her completely act like a "silent party" if she talks to you agree with whater she says still live there to be with your kids but just ignore the hell out of her maybe someday she will break down i hope she burns in H***
2006-11-15 23:29:41 · answer #10 · answered by tiffany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋