how does one cope with being alone?

Question

i hate the holidays because i am alone pretty much every year. is there a site where single can hook up, that actually works? nothing i have tried on the internet works. any advice other than going back to your ex?

Answer 1

why not join a church singles group, theres alot of places other than the internet we can meet people. there is someone out there for u, but u just haven't met them yet, because u don't go out places to meet people. when u see someone that stikes your interest, start up a conversation with them, and what's the worst that can happen? but it may bring u a relationship. there are alot of lonely people out there just like u, seeking what u seek.

Answer 2

Being along is very tough on the holidays. You didn't state your age, but I'll assume you are young. If you look around at the area churches they are always looking for help. Maybe you know some people who are also going to be alone even if they are much older than you. Get out there and plan something. I have 6 children and they all live out of state of me and can't come home this year. It will be a hard Christmas. So this is what I'm going to do is look and call the area churches and see if they are serving Christmas dinner someplace. It will make you feel good and you will make new friends. You know sitting at home will only bring you down, so look up and see what you can do for others. You may have a smile all day.

Answer 3

That being "alone" feeling, I'm afraid to say is in your head and your heart honey. Nobody can change that except for you. At this point, it would appear that you could be in a crowded room filled with people you know and you'd still feel alone. Going back to your ex to get rid of that feeling doesn't make it go away either hon. You are missing certain things about being in a relationship, not the relationship per say...it's sort of why you ask if there is any place to "hook up" with someone. I know being alone sucks....but lonliness is a state of mind and once you begin enjoying life again, things will start to fall into place. The first thing in life we all should learn is that we can't look for others to make us happy, we have to find that happiness within ourselves first.

And I know this is all easier said than done...but there are times I feel your pain and I"m a busy mother of five with a job, a huge extended family and commitments that have me running in circles. And when I start feeling like you are, I stop whatever it is I"m doing and re-evaluate things. the great thing about life is that each day is a new chance to re-invent ourselves. We can be whoever or whatever we want to be in life. If something isn't working for us, we can change it...we all have that power....even during the holidays.

And I normally don't do this, but to give you some hope that I"m not just rambling on, I'll site an example. Two years ago, I was counseling this 19 yr old lost soul. He was the sweetest man, but he'd lost his direction, had no family and was making some bad choices because he didn't know what else to do. So I suggested that he volunteer at the free kitchen for Thanksgiving. He thought I was nuts. He didn't want to do it, said he wasn't going to do it, so I ordered him to do it as part of his probabtion. And that next Monday when we met for our session, I was staring at a completely different person. He had seen first hand the true meaning of lonliness. He had seen people far worse off than he was and ...this is the part I still love...he met the love of his life....she was working in the kitchen with him. They got married this past June. And although I don't visit with him anymore, he still calls from time to time to catch me up on his life.

I know this doesn't happen for everyone honey...but these things do happen when we least expect them to. That one little Holiday that he dreaded more than anything turned into the turning point in this man's life. Take it one day at a time sweetie. Things are going to happen when you least expect them to....they always do!

I wish you well and if you're still bored on the holidays, you can come on here...most of us, will be here too!

Answer 4

Well, I don't know what you did or do wrong, but I never had a problem finding very neat men on the internet, and in personal advertising before there was an internet. Met my husband with a personal ad in a magazine. Our marriage was lovely for 18 years. He WAS a great guy. When it was over, and I was alone, I tried Yahoo Personals. I put up a great ad, have a killer smile (yup, it cost a bunch--and you gotta have that killer smile -- it radiates health... and mine will burn down a room, sweetie....). And, I'm pretty particular -- I'm educated, smart, traveled, speak some foreign languages, taught school, into horses, into classical music, have symphony tickets, yadayadayadayada...... I met great men -- also educated, and all the rest of it. Some I wanted to see again, but they weren't interested, and some wanted to see me, but I wasn't interested. Then the computer matched me up with this guy who was just stunning -- not handsome, stunning..... educated, smart, can fix anything, kind, gentle, and internationally known his field. I am treated like a princess.... We have been together a year and a half, traveled together, have very similar interests, same politics, religion and all the rest of it.

I didn't want to go back to my ex... So, don't know what your problem is. I was interested in a long term relationship.... some of the men I met were not, and they were quickly dismissed. Some had religious ideas that were just tooooo spooky for me, and those, I never met more than once or twice, just to be sure. I'm a breezy, light, happy kind of a lady, and I never stop smiling. I am not demanding, invasive, nor threatening. All I can say, hon, is always met neat guys with Yahoo (Well, no, one nut case who was incredibly clever, bright, interesting, but a nut case, (trying to cheat on his girlfriend of almost 4 years....I got filled in by someone who he was also trying to add to his stable...) none the less... educated orthopedic surgeon, but hey, nuts....) Apart from that, very nice men...

Questions? write me, and I'll tell you even more

Answer 5

When you see a person walking down the street, say hello. Talk to them. If you are a guy - I hope you know all of us women are waiting for you to talk to us. Don't be shy. We're shy too. I hate the holidays too. My married sister shows up each year with her husband cracking jokes about me being a spinster. I laugh it off, then go home and cry. I wish I could find the right guy, but there is always some problem and I end up parting ways with men I have dated. Sometimes I see men, but they never say anything to me. As a woman, I am supposed to wait for the guy, but if they are going to be shy, the whole world will be lonely. Just keep talking to us women - you'll meet someone who will want to warm up your home.

Answer 6

make a life for yourself. be stronger my dear. There are lots of things you can do out there. and there are many women who are widows . pick up a hobby that you like. Most important like yourself enjoy the silence and just htink you can do what ever you want when ever you want without anyone yelling at you or hurting you or hitting you. . sometimes its better being alone than in a bad marriage trust me for those who came from such and ordeal Sure if i meet a nice man then great but im not sitting at home sulking over will I or wont I. Try finding yourself find out what your interest are if you enjoy reading join a book club with others who share your interest what ever you like just start living it and doing what you want to do.

You don't need a partner to make you whole sure its nice to be loved but you don't want just anyone. your better of alone then that to be married ina bad relationship and still alone thats really tough too.

good luck

Answer 7

Try the web site called hotornot!