having sex in the school bathroom with her boyfriend. I'd gone to the high school to speak at a bible study group. (I'm not only a teacher at the middle school but a youth director at a local church) I went to the bathroom to freshen up and heard moaning from the corner stall. My teacher instinct kicked in so I called out and told them to come out right now. I heard zippers and rustling clothing. When the door opened there stood a red faced boy and a girl in my youth group. Now I had suspected that she was sexually active despite my encouragment to the contrary and this wasn't necessarily a surprise in the truest sense. The fact that she had the guts to do it in the high school girl's bathroom was, but not the sex part. I had to tell the principal about this incident (again with the teacher thing) and obviously noone in my youth group needs to know this, but how do I address this girl? She was breaking the rules, I had to tell and I don't feel guilty about that. But I don't
2006-11-15 14:04:27 · 8 answers · asked by bubb1e_gir1 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
want this incident to keep her away from church. She was already teetering anyway, but we were making progress on her opening up and being more secure about who she was. I don't want to lose all that because she had the unfortunate luck to not only get caught but by her youth director none the less. I know I have to give her sometime, and again no one but the school administrators, her parents (because the school had no choice but to call them) and myself will know of this in my area, but how do I talk to her about this to let her know I'm not angry or upset (or sorry for that matter) for what happened and that my views of her have not changed?
2006-11-15 14:07:00 · update #1
And no, my youth (the girl involved as well of the rest of them) a) do not know this screenname and b)all but one do not own a computer- rural poverty area
2006-11-15 14:11:12 · update #2
I think your concern should be more the idea that she may be angry that you turned her in and then she correlates that with "church people" and turns her back on you and the church.
No, it would be much better if some of the more mature youth in your group talk to her; they can better relate to her and she's more likely to talk to them than you at this point, and are more likely to help show her that she is indeed in need of some wise counsel and intervention, and that you are only looking out for her best interest. I think that's the better way to go, at least to begin with.
2006-11-15 14:12:23 · answer #1 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
don't shun her and don't tell anyone else
Talk to her and tell her that you need to see her in youth group
Let her know that the reason that she is acting out is because she needs more attention
Help her to become more fulfilled with in the church give her projects and make sure they are fun
when she realizes that she can get positive attention then it is possible that she will seek out more
Get some literature on AIDS and teen pregnancy
2006-11-15 22:16:18 · answer #2 · answered by Heaven C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing but I think that you should also talk to her... not just about her. Whats going on in her life. Why does she not love herself. Does she understand that sex can be harmful? Let her know you love her and that (I assume ) christianity is not about condemnation but conviction and principle ... there is a difference
2006-11-15 23:37:22 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just point out to the youth group that sex before marriage is wrong your not anyone to point her out infront of every body.. you should think of her as your daughter would you want some one to point her mistakes out in public like that to the whole church community you your self would feel bad if it were done to your daughter.. again your not God.. i know she did wrong but that is a very intamate mistake she did. and i strongly belive that her sin did not need to be put out like that..
2006-11-15 22:47:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello- This is a cry for help.I am glad you found them,now I hope you can get this young lady the care and help that she needs.Her self esteem needs work, and her well-being.A good support worker would be a good start. Please I hope you lend a helping hand to her.
Take Care!
2006-11-15 22:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would definetly sit one on one with her, and let her know that what you did was because you were concern.....children are having sexual intercourse these days like its nothing, thses children and others need to be talked to and she needs to reached about precautions, abstinente, and definetly self respect. I think you made a good choice and I think the lord put you into children lives for a reason. I say go for the support and ask her questions and let her know you are there for her and the others, they are young they know what sex is.... the basics but they do not know when it comes to effect ( love, marriage, commitment, trust, faith...etc.) God bless.
2006-11-15 22:16:54 · answer #6 · answered by old 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Throw her in the lake. If she floats, she's a witch. I love that you found a polite way to call this girl a slut.
You already ratted her out. Not like she's gonna be happy or not embarassed to talk to you.
2006-11-15 23:12:26 · answer #7 · answered by electron670 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You definitely did the right thing. what was she thinking? Matter of fact, that is what i would ask her
2006-11-15 22:11:04 · answer #8 · answered by Sony 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋