How do i get her back?

Question

MY WIFE JUST LEFT WITH MY TWO CHILDREN. I'VE TRIED TO CONTACT HER BUT SHE WON'T RESPOND. I'VE TALKED BADDLY TO HER AND I THINK SHE IS TIRED OF ME. I'VE NEVER HIT HER AND NEVER WOULD. WE WERE TOGETHER FOR ABOUT NINE YEARS AND THE PROBLEMS STARTED ABOUT A YEAR +- AGO. SHE SEEMS DEPRESSED AND I'VE BEEN STRESSED OUT. IT MADE FOR BAD COMUNICATION. I WOULD RUN MY MOUTH WHICH IS SOMETIMES HARSH AND SHE WOULD JUST SET THERE. I STILL LOVE HER WITH ALL MY HEART AND WISH I COULD TRY TO MAKE IT RIGHT AND PUT MY STRESS SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT HER DEPRESSION. THE LOVE FOR THE CHILDREN WAS NEVER IN ANY DOUGHT FROM EITHER OF US. IF SHE WOULD GIVE ME A CHANCE I WOULD DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Answer 1

Been There and Done That. I am changing that now. Best that i can tell you is that no matter what a relationship relies on both of you to work things out. I suggest to you that you contact her, and if she doesn't answer than give her time she will because you both have that long invested together and you also have children together. Second start to go to church of your choice and get god on your side. Read 1 Corinthians chapter 13 it is about love. See if both of you can see a counselor through the church or from an outside organization. Work together on everything there is no I in team and that is exactly what you two are a team and when you got married you combined two souls into one. Try your best to work things out for the children.

Answer 2

Two words, pick a number any number:
1. anger management
2. marriage counselling (either with or without her)
3. divorce therapy (hey, sometimes it doesnt end in divorce) and finally
4. shut up. Seriously. You know something bad is gonna come out of that fool mouth, so close your trap and count to 10.
Good luck, kid. I wish you and your lady the best. If you don't think you can afford # 1, 2 or 3, then contact your local free clinic, or even catholic charities or the salvation army, they've always got something going on like 1 2 or 3. Good luck again!

Answer 3

Have you tryed telling her this from the heart really from deep down from your heart and letting her know you now realize the things you did to her were terrible and you should have never told her mean things as you did and that you admit you have a problem and you'll get that fixed and she means more to you than anytyhing and you will definatly change things. if everything else was good in your relationship i think you can salvage this. But she needs to know your serious and you mean what you say and you do what you say.

Also continue to show her you mean business while she is away she is probably thinking your not serious and if you really cared you be after her. so continue to call her send her flowers be there as much as possible so she can realize wow you really want her back its just not empty words. You will have to do alot of work here but its worth it if you love her and want her back.

good luck

Answer 4

Have you said this to her? That might be a start. She may need time to SEE the change in your behavior. Remember how you treated her when you first got together? Start trying to be that man to her again. If she is important enough to you , you will learn self control with what you say. If you can control your stress enough to keep from hitting her , then control your tongue as well. Words can leave scars too. And harsh words make her feel unloved. You will have to start proving yourself to her. She may need time, but your children are worth the effort. They need a mom and a dad in their life.

Answer 5

You bring up a few painful issues in your letter. First is the issue of trust, and second is the issue of your so-called inability to express love and compassion - your "passion gap." The two issues may be connected
The problems surface when the excitement and passion of a new relationship wear off (within a few months to a year or two) and a couple finds that one of them is high T and the other is low T. This natural phenomenon can create a great deal of pain and conflict in their relationship. For example, when one member of the couple is looking for sex and is turned down by the other, he feels a lack of love, compassion and intimacy. This often starts a downward cycle that accelerates and leads to communication difficulties, problems in the bedroom and finally a lack of trust and intimacy.

Long periods apart can be especially trying to a marital relationship. It can lead to feelings of loneliness, suspicion and jealousy. There are undoubtedly temptations for both of you that you have to struggle to avoid. These fears and unmet needs can lead to conflict and mistrust. Talking about your feelings with each other during these long periods of separation might be helpful.

You need to feel comfortable with your behavior, and be able to live honestly with yourself.

Answer 6

I think that I know what she is thinking. She has had it if she has finally left. If I left like that it would be over and too late for saving anything. No woman wants to listen to there husband run there mouth badly to them. After awhile your feelings change until you feel hatred. Sometimes it is too late to get anther chance. You may have never hit her but you are still mentally abusing her. I am sorry to say all this but I am speaking from experience.

Answer 7

We believe ya, dude! What you need to do is show HER! You know the things she wanted from you.....short of stalking her, your only bet is to shower her with all the things you should have done before. If she ever suggested counseling, make an appointment....or two, one for you and one as a couple.... In this day of disposable relationships, I commend you for waking up and wanting to change your ways, I only pray it isn't too late! Good Luck!

Answer 8

Let a professional do the diagnosing. Do not refer to her as depressed.
She may just be fed up and feel she has limited choices.
If you really love her as much as you say you do, then talk to her when she is ready and not when you want to.
then treat her like you did when you were dating.
Apply your dating skills to your marriage and you might be able to save and keep it until the day you both die.
Forget to honor and respect her, and you WILL lose her again and forever!!!

Answer 9

get off the internet and get over there and bring her back. join the real world again and do it now. put all this fantasy away and concentrate on the gifts you have in your wife and children. by doing this, you will show her the depth of your love. be truly interested in her and her needs and take joy in being with her and your children. if you can't do that, then you should let her go and allow her to find happiness with someone who will be able to appreciate her the way she should be appreciated. good luck to you dear.

Answer 10

Give it a little time. Don't rush her.You need time as well to get yourself together. WHEN you get her back remember this incident to help you to do the right things from now on. I have a feeling that you will her from her soon.The children need both of you. It hurts them most.Good luck with this.