My hubby and his drinking?

Question

How does a women deal with a husband and all of his drinking? He hangs out with his friends and drink at least three days a week, but never seems to want to do anything with me. I would go with him, but he always tell me that there is never any women around. I am sick of it now. He couldn't even take me anywhere nice on our anniversary, we had to rush home so that he could get his drink on....I have been married to him for 22yrs, I love him to death, but this drinking is really getting old....I just don't know which way to go....

Answer 1

You cannot make him stop. Only he can do that. Otherwise wait for him to self destruct.

Answer 2

all these responses saying put your foot down or move out on him or lock him out none of this is going to work. you have to understand for him this drink is a drug to him he needs it he can't function without it. so as much as he loves you he can't let go of his drinking if he is drinking that much he will need to go to a dry out center and get help or what we call here AAA alocholics anyominice ( spelled that wrong but you get the idea) also if he is drinking this much he most likely will never be able to go back to a drop again once he gets the help he needs for if he falls off the wagon he will be back on again. But he has to want to go. Its like you asking him to quit smoking if he enjoys it he won't quit. he has to reach that spot himself. So you see by you threatening to leave or take the children away or telling him he has to go live in a motel he won't understand what your saying for he is addicted to his drinks. Why not go to aa your self yhou can learn alot about how to cope and how to deal with this in your life and hopefully your husband will get the help he needs.

My aunt way back in the days had 5 kids he drank like a fish and she divorced him he cleaned up his act went to aa and has never touched a drop again and they got back together and remarried now for over 15 years or even longer so it can work but its how badly the man wants and what he values in his life.

good luck.

Answer 3

Drinking that much is never acceptable. You should not put up with it. He is killing himself and destroying your relationship.
Either you tell him to leave or you leave and stay with someone and don't tell him where you are. Then after a couple of days, call during his drinking time and if he is out, leave a message saying you will call again.
He needs rehab, Nothing else really works if he fights your being disappionted.

Answer 4

My own opinion is that he is not treating you right what so ever and if all that he cares about is his drinking and not about you and your needs than he is not meeting your needs in the relationship that is needed. Turn to the bible and read 1 Corinthians chapter 13 is the chapter of love whenever you are feeling down. Try to get him to start to meet your needs and it may even come down to you giving him an ultimatums and see what he decides if it is the drinking than he does not care about you anymore.

Answer 5

If you have tried talking, and that doesn't work, time for action. Pack your things and spend a couple nights with friends or family. They will understand.... really. Do not be ashamed!! The thought of losing his wife should send any man into a panic, and you'll have his attention. If not, perhaps you should think about staying gone...

Answer 6

This all depends when he started drinking. If it was before you married him you shouldn't mind his drinking since you knew what you were marrying. If he started recently then you need to find out what triggered it and help him fix the problem or leave him.

Answer 7

I am truly sorry for you!! But I do know wnat you mean. I have been there to. It seems like an addict cant live without, no matter what the consequences!! It doesn't meen that he does not love you, even though you are tired of the crap. It just means if he is addicted to alcohol or whatever than his " drug of choice" is most important to him, most of the time.

Answer 8

some kind of intervention may help, confront him, without condemnation,judgement or comparisons, just with the facts. seek the honest opinion of a close friend or minister, u have to look at this situation as it is, not how u think it should be. he is sucking u dry, and you are beginning to feel unloved, and u resent it. time to confront, and set boundaries, and get him to go to some therapy. u have alot invested and alot of years, and u love him dearly, so it's time to bring in someone else to help, not family.

Answer 9

hes right pack your bags & stay gone for a few days with out any contact let him worry for a while. my ex drinked alot also i know how you feel he did not wanna straighten up & i was pregant he had no job lived off of his mother i had enough so i left town & went to live with my sister for a couple of monthes. leaving did not help much but it gave me some space to really figure out what i wanted to do with my life & my daughter but anyways we ended up divorcing in the long run which was a big releif off of my shoulders cause he turned out to be nothing but a drunk. {good luck with what ever you decide to do with your life in the near future}

Answer 10

I don't know what to say to this. You need to put your foot down and let him know how you feel. i AM ALWAYS SAYING THIS we women have a problem expressing our feelings. WE need to do this or else they won't understand how we feel. He needs to know that you want to spend quality time with him and need to improve your life and your married life.