As I ate my Rice Krispies in peace, I suddenly heard a noise. Where was it coming from? Snap! I shifted my eyes cautiously from side to side. Crackle! Was this going to be my last day to live? Pop! I looked down at my heaping bowl of Rice Krispies and sighed in relief. It was my cereal all along! After all their slogan is "Snap! Crackle! Pop! Rice Krispies!"
Is there anything I can do to make it better?
Please correct it?
2006-11-15 13:44:50 · 7 answers · asked by Taco Dog 3 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
"As I ate" ought to be "As I was eating" (it's the imperfect tense).
"Heaping" perhaps should be "heaped".
"Sighed in relief" is more commonly written as "sighed with relief".
2006-11-15 13:51:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I ate my Rice Krispies in peace, I suddenly heard a noise. Where was it coming from, I wondered? Snap! I shifted my eyes cautiously from side to side. Crackle! Was this going to be my last day to live, I thought? Pop! I looked down at my heaping bowl of Rice Krispies and sighed in relief. I realized it was my bowl of cereal all along! After all, their slogan is "Snap! Crackle! Pop! Rice Krispies!"
i like it :)
2006-11-15 13:48:32 · answer #2 · answered by Just another nickname 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I thinks it sounds good, funny to. Dang, now I want some rice krispies!
2006-11-15 13:52:45 · answer #3 · answered by Silent Nellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm no longer likely to assert what all of us else did, yet only make the full element sound greater effective. Wild Servals are modern-day in lots of areas of the worldwide; greater often than not contained in the midsection and southern region of Africa. Servals oftentimes have their properties positioned close to grassy savannas.
2016-10-04 00:35:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are printing this out for submission (and I think it's very good)
I might suggest you put the slogan on the last line...all by itself...and in bold type
2006-11-15 13:52:33 · answer #5 · answered by skwonripken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good.
2006-11-15 13:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by rideitmark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no that was good just the way you have it
2006-11-15 13:48:33 · answer #7 · answered by arc 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋