My fiance wants me to have an abortion but I am not sure. Any advice?

Question

My fiance is no good, selfish, and offer no moral, emotional, or financial support for me. I am thinking it would be best to have an abortion so that I don't have to deal with this man anymore and bear the immense burden of raising a child with a dead-beat father.

Answer 1

I'm going to be blunt here, but it's out of genuine concern for both you and your child. None of the circumstances of your life are your baby's fault. It's not your child's fault that your fiance is a jerk, or that you chose to have sex with him. You may consider your baby a burden, but remember, he or she didn't ask to be created and doesn't deserve to be killed. The baby is the only one who is totally innocent in all of this.

Look, if your fiance is pressuring you to abort, he obviously doesn't care about your physical or emotional well-being, about the risks to you, or about his own son or daughter. Those are issues you need to bring up to him, but don't punish your baby because he's selfish and uncaring. There is plenty of free help available for you. If you go to a pregnancy care center, they can give you referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance, free maternity and baby supplies, pregnancy and parenting information, and counseling and emotional support. If you honestly feel that you can't care for your child, they can talk to you about placing your child with an adoptive family. You can find a center near you by calling 1-800-395-HELP or visiting:

http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp
http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp

If you are a college or working woman, there is also a special network set up to help you here:

http://www.nurturingnetwork.org

You need to take a good look at what you're considering, and learn about the risks to you as well:

Photos of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/11weeks.htm

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm

Don't punish your baby for what is not his or her fault. Do the right thing and let your baby live.

Answer 2

If you are not in the position to care for a child, whether that be financially, emotionally, relationship-wise, etc., you would be doing a disservice to yourself and the child if you kept it. It is your right to terminate the pregnancy if you feel that is the right choice (don't let anyone tell you that it is wrong just because of religion or GOD). You also have the option of having the child and giving it up for adoption. I will caution you again, though, on bringing a child into your situation (having a dead-beat father who won't give any love or support, and I'm assuming that you probably don't make enough on your own to care for the child properly). The STRONG decision is the one that is best for the child in the end.

Answer 3

This is a very hard decision and one you can't take lightly (your messing with another humans life that you both created).
It depends on how old you are and how much support you will get from your family...after all the baby didn't ask to be born.

And if you decide you do have all the support from your family then make sure you get a court order to ensure the baby remains your responsibility and the father has no rights at all, make sure agreement is in writing and lodged in the court.

You just have to become the mother and father alone and explain to the child when older his father didn't want any responsibility at the time, hey you made your bed so, unfortunately you will need to lay in it.

Whichever decision you make it will get better...it couldn't get any worse.
GOOD LUCK AND BE STRONG.

Answer 4

Have your child, give it up for adoption if you feel you need to. I know so many people who had an abortion and regret it, always wondering what the child would be like, what they could have contributed to this world. A man who wants you to have an abortion usually does NOT want to pay child support. Think about that. My best to you...please find some good support. It is out there! Oh, and why are you marrying this man?

Answer 5

You should never abort a child just because of the man who got you pregnant. If that is the case go on with the pregnancy and put the baby up for adoption. There are plenty of people who would love a child!! And if anything you should leave the man...it doesn't sound like you think to much of him, why be with a man who doesn't offer anything for you! There are better men out there!!! But please put a lot of thought into your decision!!! And, also, think of You have SO MUCH to offer this child and you will soon find out! I SURE DID!!!

Answer 6

Ok first of all why are you calling him your Fiance? After all you just said about him you should be referring to him as your EX. And yes if he is a dead beat and as bad as you say then you may not want to have the baby. It's not fair to the child to bring it into a situtation like that. Plus you don't want to be stuck dealing with him forever. Trust me. I have a child with someone I hate and I would rather have not had my son then drag him through the drama and arguments his dad and I have. Don't do it because he wants you to though. If you do it make sure it's something you feel is in YOUR best interest. But if you want this child then go for it. Good luck!

Answer 7

No! If you do that....you will go to hell if you're Catholic ^_^ and even if you're not...it will stick with you forr the rest fo your life. I think you are old enough to understand this and its really ashame that you want to have an abortion and you'll end up feelign gulity, sad, regrets, ugly, an ugly fat mean person who killed a poor babycute face baby. I mean....I dont even know you, but I'm telling you.....if you think about it in your future......you will denfinally feel a harsh dying pain inside of you. Take it from me....my auant has had an abortion and she cries at night all the time wishing she hadent.....=/

You will cry at night everyday. You are so ungrateful that you are going to have a beautiful goroues baby and you dont even want it? I see a problem here......don't you? If you dont want the baby and not ready...put the baby up for adoption.

Answer 8

He has no say in it...unless you were getting the abortion and he didn't want you to. If you want to go through with the pregnancy, go for it. Then you have the option of keeping it or giving it to a family who would otherwise not have any kids. Anyway, if he is no good, selfish and offers no support of any kind, WHY IS HE YOUR FIANCE...ditch the creep.

Answer 9

What do you want to do? You more or less answered your own question, he will not be around to support you - can you support yourself and the child? I feel abortion is up to the woman. It's your body, not his. Your question can only be answered by you. I'm not offering any advice - except don't take anyone else's advice. Make the decision all yourself - you are the one who has to keep on with your life - no one else.

Answer 10

I would like to suggest that you reconsider the idea of having an abortion. I think it's sad that the man you are engaged to doesn't want you to keep your child. Children are the consequences of sex, and in this case you did get pregnant. If you and your husband can't keep the child - if your lives just don't seem to have room for one due to money or other issues, know that there are many couples out there who can't have children and someone would surely be able to care for your baby. Your child deserves the right to live, just as much as you do.