I want the best for our son truly I do. I want my husband to be apart of his life completly in everyway I can facilitate but he has a history of drugs and alchohol and when he is not clean and sober he is abusive, and neglectfull. He has not been sober for longer than 2 months in our marriage of 2 years. He has been in and out of jail and I think if we go throught the divorce process I would win because my evidence is substantial but I hate fighting, and just want to settle this but he refuses anything other than joint custody and wants my son in his mothers house (whom is also a drug attic) with him 50 percent of the time. I can not get him to see the concerns or that it is unrealistic, he is not in treatment and not always sober but fighting is going to take so much money I dont know what to do, he got drunk and left his niece alone...any suggestions?
2006-11-15 11:59:42 · 9 answers · asked by liyah's mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has been sober for 2 weeks and has been holding a job for 3 months I just dont feel that is long enough although I am happy for him
2006-11-15 12:06:27 · update #1
get a public defender. or someone that will fight pro bono for you. it looks like you are going to have to fight him by the way he is acting so you might as well do it now.
2006-11-15 12:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to fight him in court. Do not have joint custody. Let him have visitation with no over nights. My father was(still is) an alcoholic. My mom tried the joint custody thing and it didn't work, he drank when he was supposed to be caring for us. My mom took him back to court and changed him to having visitation 3 times per week for 3 hrs each visit, and in the beginning the visits were supervised. If you get a public defender the costs won't be bad. You can't let this slip by though, you have to protect your child, especially a newborn baby. A baby can't be left unsupervised at all for any amount of time. If he shows responsibility during visitation you can allow him more time. After my father straightened up my mom let him take us camping and stuff. He had to show that he wouldn't be drinking while we were with him though. As a mother it is your 1st and foremost job to put your child's safety first, forget any fears or aversions you have and look out for your child. Remember if anything happens to that baby you will blame yourself if you do nothing to protect him.
2006-11-15 12:24:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no problem here. With his documented (jail/police reports) history of drugs and alcohol, you will automatically be awarded child custody (as long as you have no child or drug abuse charges), child support, the house and possible spousal support. If you agree, he would get state mandated supervised visitation rights with no overnights til he proves hes clean over a lengthy time period. You can get a protective restraining order for you and your son if needbe. With his history, he has nothing to stand on in court but thats his wn fault and not yours. Good luck
2006-11-15 12:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well no matter what im sorry you had a not so well life with him divorce not realy an answer asking yahoo and the members cant really do anything but advice and thats what im gonna give to you split half way for now see if he wants and will change to better the life between you both i know its hard to have to drag rather for him to want to to it but get him help be by his side and show him that you care and you want to save it rather then throw it all away i wish you luck and all and if you want someone to talk with just send me a instent message ok take care
2006-11-15 12:15:56 · answer #4 · answered by nasty_boy823 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend just went though this in Maine and she got SOLE custody.....take out a loan or ask for public assistance. They...the court will make him have supervised visits and also drug tests...random drug tests...hair testing as well....you will win I think....don't let $$$$ stop you...your child is more important than a new car or wardrobe. BTW, why did you MARRY this man? But mostly,why did you let him father your child?
2006-11-15 12:10:43 · answer #5 · answered by PRISSY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
feels like he has already got here across himself a sparkling life and is getting on with it, and that do not propose to assert yet another lady, or it can nicely be that he only feels like reducing off from you both at this minute in time. Who replaced into the single to keen to divorce, if he replaced into the innocuous one, then he will be feeling damage. i imagine in the journey that your son were older he does not have stopped seeing the body so effortlessly. in spite of the actual shown actuality that adult males love their 2 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous sons, there is not very a lot they could do at the same time is there, a 2 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous continues to be a lot of a touch one. don't be damage through that in spite of the actuality that, fathers in spite of the actuality that they love their youthful ones oftentimes do not fairly bond with very youthful ones, they imagine that is what females do ideal and commonly we do. We lady on the different hand have that instinctive motherly project and are in spite of everything outfitted for nurturing youthful children and youngsters. If I were you i'd depart issues as they are, he will come round finally yet do not argue with him about it, ask why yet do not nag. in case you do you'll really flare up tensions and in spite of the actuality that a 2 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous does not communicate nicely verbally they nonetheless %. up the tensions. i imagine issues will style themselves out. i imagine in the present day he only needs day out to familiarize your self inclusive of his personal emotions that is all, he will come round quickly, you'll see.
2016-11-24 21:38:20 · answer #6 · answered by howling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was my baby no alcoholic looser would be allowed to even look in my baby's direction. i would fight with everything i have inside me to make sure dysfunctional family members don't have any rights. i know you dont want to fight and want him to be in the baby's life, but you're gonna have a lot of problems with him getting ****** up, the mother too and not taking care of the kid properly.
if those 2 weeks of sobriety were actually years, MAYBE. but that's just me i'm really protective over the ones i love, i can't even imagine if it was my baby.
2006-11-15 12:07:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to court for custody when all is going on have your atty. request that both of you are drug tested (you better be clean) then ask for custody and your x to have visitation but no matter what both of you need to be part of the childs life
2006-11-15 12:08:42 · answer #8 · answered by skip75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do whats best for your son fight for him all the way!And don't let the son go live with his mother that is wrong YOU are the mom not her. FIGHT FOR YOUR SON. Good luck to you and your son and God Bless
2006-11-15 12:59:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋