I go and see my boyfriend soon and we have been talking about things we wanna do when i see him....what im worried about is what we would do at night .... sometimes i feel im ready ..other times i dont....what does this mean??? Im 15 by the way so should this be a bad thing?
2006-11-15 11:53:40 · 15 answers · asked by Ikemefuna s 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
So you are 15? Ready to have a baby are you? Unless you are ready for that.... don't do it.
If you were ready, you would not be asking this question, would you?
Even if the guy says he loves you (don't they all?), it doesn't mean he will be the one you eventually marry. All the statistics show that the odds are very much against that happening. So you will be giving yourself to someone you will not be with later. Do you want to do that?
Research shows that 95% of girls engaging in premarital sex are thinking they will be with that guy for life, have a nice house, a white picket fence, two kids and a dog! Only 5% of guys researched thought of that. The other 95% are thinking of the physical pleasure they are getting in the sex act. It is important that you know this and I wish all young girls were taught these things instead of being taught to use condoms!
You are ambivalent. Most likely (hey, I was 15 once too!) you are sexually attracted to him and have a relationship, so you feel it is the next step. I get that. But if it really is the right thing to do, why do you question it? Why do you feel at times that you are not ready? How about this:
You are concerned about the possible consequences, such as STDs and pregnancy.
Your parents would not approve and you don't want them to find out, so there will be some sneaking around and secrets. It will put a wall in your relationship with them because you cannot be open about your life and actions.
You've never had sexual intercourse and maybe are just a little scared and don't know what to expect?
You have a religious belief and deep inside you know it's wrong.
Yes, Dear.... I've been there. And I was a bit older than you, but started making a lot of mistakes. I regret all of those mistakes to this day, and most women do.
More research:
Girls who engage in sex prior to age 16 generally will continue to be sexually active and have many partners, not able to be discriminating about who they have sex with. Girls whose first experience is after age 16 tend to be very discriminating about who they have sex with and so have fewer partners, generally only those with whom they have a monogamous relationship at the time.
Age 16 seems to be a point where a girl reaches a level of maturity that allows her to make better decision for herself. Prior to that she is not ready to make those kinds of decisions.
Honey, you have a long life ahead of you and plenty of time to have a sexual relationship with someone you will eventually marry. This is a time to get to know guys in friendships, because they are not going to marry you. Again.... statistics and research shows that this guy and you will eventually break up.
What you need to do now is just enjoy activities together and each other's company ... without a sexual relationship.
If he's still there when you turn 18, have sex with my blessing and I'll pay for your room! But I guarantee you that is not going to happen.
I wish you the best.... and the best for a gal your age is to wait.
By the way, oral sex is sex and you can get STDs that way too. Someone on here is apparently young and unknowing to tell you that it's ok.
You must decide where you will draw the line in advance, before the heat of battle.... and don't cross it. If your boyfriend cares about you and is genuine, he will respect you and your wishes. If he dumps you over it.... you know he didn't care in the first place and was just out to get his jollies.
Sue
2006-11-15 12:44:46 · answer #1 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know we live in a sex crazed culture, but don't do anything you are not ready for. If he tries pressuring you then he really isn't the one you should be with. Let me tell you my first time story. I was 16 years old. The guy I decided to have sex with was my best friend for a year. After we had sex he dumped me. Remember guys at your age are full of hormones they will do almost anything for sex. Be strong and do what you feel is right.
2006-11-15 19:57:36 · answer #2 · answered by Glee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you shouldn't definitely wait until you are COMPLETELY ready before you do anything. If you are still afraid of it, the don't do it. If you feel like you want to do something then you can always "play around" but you don't actually have to go all the way.
You only lose you virginity once, do it how you want and when you want to
2006-11-15 19:57:29 · answer #3 · answered by TNL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your asking yourself if you're ready then you're not. You should have no doubt that you are. Most teenagers just want to do certain things because they think that they're the only one who isn't. believe me, it's not the case. Keep your relationship at a comfortable level. You wont be asking yourself if you're ready to do something if you truly are.
2006-11-15 20:39:35 · answer #4 · answered by j_ace84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so basically your mind is saying no but your body is saying yes.....? well think about it really hard (sleep on it) and think about the ups/downs that might come with your decision...if you still wanna "do the do" then go for it...but if you doubt that you want to, then try to steer clear from any situations that would put you in the position to do it...because most likely you will get caught up in the moment and...you know....
2006-11-15 20:57:34 · answer #5 · answered by Renee` 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WAIT until you are ready and when you are use protection. You can also do other things besides sex- foreplay: kiss, touch, oral, etc... And be careful there are a lot of STDs out there
2006-11-15 20:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by mommy@18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have the slightest doubt, then don't do anything that makes you worried, extremely nervous, or scared! It can wait!
But if you do plan on ever doing anything, please use the proper protection! Good luck!
2006-11-15 19:56:01 · answer #7 · answered by Jen 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DOITDOITDOIT! then dump him the next day and shoot his foot with a 12 gauge
2006-11-15 21:49:18 · answer #8 · answered by Chicken C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont do anything you dont want to do. Its not worth it. I waited until I was married, and it was so worth it!!!!
Good luck!!
2006-11-15 19:56:56 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda K 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that is sexual tension, but you shouldnt do it, because you will probably ruin all your future, and you will regret it, just like everyone does
2006-11-15 20:46:36 · answer #10 · answered by ~~Chiki~~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋