Dream
His smile
lights up my world
His eyes
i could stair at them forever
His intellegence
could teach a stick to walk
His humor
could make me laugh at a funeral
I sit
I dream
Me asking
Do you like me?
And he replys yes
He holds my hand
Walking down the hall
A hug
A kiss
But then i'm awaken by the truth
it's a dream
only a dream
only a dream
2006-11-15 11:00:52 · 15 answers · asked by Sarah 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
btw how do u think it is for a 13 yr old like me?
2006-11-15 11:07:12 · update #1
oh and no i dont have a bf but i do like someone
2006-11-15 11:08:45 · update #2
Wow! I'm really impressed - especially because you are just 13. Make sure you spell check though and watch grammar. It's intelligence, stare, replies, and when you use the contraction "I'm" you have to change awaken to past tense - awakened. But way to go! Keep writing. :)
2006-11-15 11:20:11 · answer #1 · answered by Lilyothvalli 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
almost as good as this one..
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
But not as sweet as you
BUT...
the roses have wilted
and the sugar is lumpy
just like your head
no just kidding its good for a 13 yr old even older...and if you write poems and just not that one, there are a few websites where people and can write and submit poems for free one is Love Poetry.com and the other is I dont know off hand the wewbsite but is called Stare Lite cafe maybe ""Light""" google it, you will find it..
2006-11-15 19:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by american_eagle_guy1983 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, dear, it's more of a sign that you're in love than it is a poem. Fortunately, though, since you're only 13, it's only a dream. And it's a nice thought, too. Keep at it!
2006-11-15 21:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by worldinspector 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep on writing! It's really good stuff. It's a good poem!
2006-11-15 19:09:38 · answer #4 · answered by luvmuzik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good!
Keep writing, even if you are the only one to enjoy your talent.
(BTW, use the word 'stare' for looking at someone, not 'stair')
Best of luck!
2006-11-15 19:03:57 · answer #5 · answered by DJ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is really good! Keep on writing and I'll comment every time!
2006-11-15 19:22:51 · answer #6 · answered by Elisabeth B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked it till the part about laughing at a funeral.
2006-11-15 19:20:39 · answer #7 · answered by IthinkFramptonisstillahottie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a really good poem. was this an assignment for school or just for fun? i really like it. great job!
2006-11-15 19:08:47 · answer #8 · answered by collgegrl11 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your 13 i am so going to report you!!!
and i think your poem is good!!
omg your 13
2006-11-15 19:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
OMG THATS AMAZING!!!! i feel the same way all the time!! its like your readin my mind!!
2006-11-15 19:19:42 · answer #10 · answered by kaytlynsangryraccoon 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋