Why don't all married women take on their husband's last name?

Question

I think that it is a shame that the old-fashioned custom of a wife being called by her husband’s name has gone by the wayside.

Ok, let me add this. I think it should be required for the women to change her name. You are getting married for goodness sakes!! Do so many women have such a dominance issue that they can't concede on one little tradition? If you don't take his name then you shouldn't marry.

Answer 1

I've had my last name all my life, it's not fair that he gets to keep his last name and I have to change mine. We're not going to have kids, so it's not like we'd have problems with their last names. My last name represents my roots, my people, my heritage and I'm not going to erase it.

Answer 2

I did not change my last name because I feel like I was born with an "identity" and to take my husband's name would be as if I am changing who I am. That's how I feel about it. And I don't think it's a big deal. I know many people who did not change their last name and I also know many people who did. It's all about personal choices, that's why we have free will.

Besides, it's such a hassle! You have to go and change everything from your driver's license to your birth certificate. Who has time to stand in those dreadful lines?

Answer 3

It has long been the patriarchal tradition for women to change their surname upon marriage from their birth name (or maiden name) to their husband's last name. From the first known instance of a woman keeping her birth name, Lucy Stone in the 19th century, there has been a general increase in the rate of women keeping their original name. This has gone through periods of flux, however, and the 1990's saw a decline in the percentage of name retention among women. As of 2004, roughly 90% of American women automatically assumed their husband's surname upon getting married. Even in families where the wife has kept her birth name, parents often choose to give their children their father's family name.

Answer 4

As of Dec. 31, 2006 I will carry my husbands name for the first time in 10 years.
Now the question why I have not changed it, simple at 20 I had a daughter born out of wedlock. To make sure (till she was old enough to understand) I loved her and that would never change. But now that she is 15 she doesn't care weather or not my last name is different from her, she knows I love her.
I do understand what you saying my step son, born out of wedlock carries his fathers sir name "Jr.", I hate the fact of it.

Answer 5

Because a lot of women like their birth name and how it sounds...and a lot of people also don't like their husbands last name...you have to keep in mind that sometimes women have already established full blown careers with a certain name and it's hard to change it...personally I don't think I would legally change my last name once I am married maybe add a hyphen

Answer 6

that is a Little harsh, but to each their own, I would have it it had been allowed back when I married, the only ones who didn't were women doctors, and that was only in their medical practise. at home they were Mrs. So now I am still stuck with my exes name or pay a big price to have it and all my id changed. and I didn't as I never plan to remarry so no point

Answer 7

Different things are significant to different people. I never took my husband's last name, and he never took mine, hence we have different names; my own name has more significance to me than his name, it's that simple. I don't really see any one way being "THE" way, it really is a personal choice of the parties involved. But then, I'm not the one to sit around lamenting the disappearance of the old traditions; I embrace some things from the past that are meaningful, but am open to what the present and the future brings. My own name happens to be meaningful to me in a way that someone else's name can never be. Traditions change, and each person has to find their own path, don't you agree?

Answer 8

It hasn't mattered to me. Both my wives decided to take my last name, but that was their choice to go along with the tradition. I don't think our lives would have changed any if they had kept their names as they were.

I think it is a shame that there is not a custom of the husband being called by his wife's name.

Answer 9

In these days of equality, women enjoy their freedom and independence, yet can still be committed to a wonderful relationship. Maybe it is better to be a partner rather than a wife? Without judgment, live and let live. What works for you is fine, but I can see where it doesn't make sense for everyone.

Answer 10

I used to think I'd hate to give up my last name. It was mine, I'd always had it. It's a big part of who I am, and I just plain liked it. I couldn't think of another name that would sound as good.

Then I met my fiance and fell in love. I want to be his in every way. I want it to be obvious that we are married. I just want to belong to him. That's just my thoughts on it. I want to be part of his family. I want us to be a family. Truthfully, I prefer his last name now. It makes our connection seem more solid. I will be taking his last name, and I will not be using my last name as my new middle name. I don't like that trend either. Call me old-fashioned, but I'm so proud to be marrying him that I want everyone to know it. :)

Answer 11

well...that depends. My last name is rare. and my ex's last name was gonzalez. ew. my husband's last name actually sounds good with my first name, so i have no problem changing it as soon as i get my lazy rear end to the SS office. So mine was a vanity issue. not really a heritage issue.