he has been nice when around me but I still feel uncomfortable around him. My wife feels I shouldnt be and I am not being fair because I dont think it is fair to me to have to spend time around him. He wants to go to her parents because he is fighting with his mother and sister and not going to their house.
2006-11-15 09:53:05 · 33 answers · asked by rottn30 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your right, she's wrong. Let her know it will feel uncomfortable, and that isn't fair to you. It will be awkward for others, too in her family so let her know.
2006-11-15 09:54:39 · answer #1 · answered by QueenofLeon 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have alot of respect for your wife and so should you. Relationships go sour sometimes and the best thing that could happen is that you remain friends. Remember there is something that she really liked in this man and that is what usually attracts families.
My fiance had issues with these things too. I very rarely had a nasty break up and my family loves everyone. There has been more than once that we should up at an event where an Ex appeared.
Just because you break up with someone it does not mean that your family must either. It is understandable that you feel uncomfortable, but you will get over it.
2006-11-15 10:17:38 · answer #2 · answered by live4logan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people really need to learn how to move on...he is a part of her PAST. That doesn't mean that he and your wife need to have animosity toward each because their relationship ended, however the attitude that I would have (personally) we ended it amicably, lets move on, she remarried you and that is who needs to be at her family's home for the holidays, I don't care what kind of relationship the family has with him, at the end of the day she sleeps with you not them. If it is that serious for the family to have him there, then I wouldn't go , that is ridiculous. I am sorry that he and his family are experiencing discord, but it is not YOUR wife's place to solve his problems.. If there are kids involved then I could understand him coming. Personally, if I were him I wouldn't even want to go around my ex and his family, that looks pathetic. If I were you I would tell her how I feel, if she gets angry about it then make it a tradition, tell her they both can eat all the glazed ham and yams together until they are blue in the face, and you just start going to your family's house for the holidays.
2006-11-15 12:15:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is getting caught up in th fact that he is an EX. I don't believe that when a couple parts the friendship established by the family suffers. What do I mean....the family may still care about the EX and have some sort of friendship that was NOT affected by the divorce. So during Thanksgiving as stated above it's celebrated by family (the current husband) and friends (the EX). Focus on giving thanks and NOT who or what he USED to represent....Your the BIG DOG now. Wuff, Wuff!
2006-11-15 10:18:13 · answer #4 · answered by D1MOND LYFE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ex has issues. Sounds like every time there's controversy, he takes off. Now he wants to force himself on your family's' Thanksgiving. Don't let it happen. Tell the ex yourself that you don't feel comfortable with him coming to Thanksgiving dinner. You should let your wife and mother-in-law know this also. Be very tactful and leave no doubt you are serious. Your wife should say, "ok, you're my husband and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, it was a silly thought by him anyway". If they insist he come you should question your wife's conviction to you.
2006-11-15 10:53:05 · answer #5 · answered by Ricky: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm about the most open minded person you'll ever meet...but the ex at Thanksgiving? That's just totally crazy. If you were all really great friends, then sure. But if you're uncomfortable (and rightfully so) I would hope that you're wife and her family would respect that. Tell her how you feel in a deep-felt conversation. And good luck!!!
2006-11-15 09:55:35 · answer #6 · answered by shannonscorpio 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you for how you feel!!
I think I'd be telling the wife, it's either him or I for Thanksgiving, not both of us. IF her family don't mind him being there, then let them have him, but make your own at your house.
Your wife isn't actually seeing nor seems to be careing how uncomfortable this is making you.
She needs a wife adjustment.
2006-11-15 09:58:47 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have seen this happen a few times in the past. Let him come and show you are good with it. It is a day to be thankful so be thankful you do not have to have him over for dinner every night. Besides, if there are kids of his there, it is a good thing. Just remember you are the one she has chosen and quit worrying about it.
2006-11-15 09:57:18 · answer #8 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell?? I'm only speaking for myself when I say this, my husband and I have an agreement, we both decided it was best not to speak with the ex's. If you let her talk to him like THAT and he's hanging out and about with you two then of course it's gonna get sticky!
Sounds like this guy is trying to slowly get back with her on a subconscious level. I wouldn't have been cool with that.
If it bothers you TALK to your wife, don't be afraid to address your feelings to her. Hear what she has to say and If it bothers u and she truly loves u she'd stop hanging out with Mr. Suave. Don't get stepped on. Best of luck to you!
2006-11-15 10:26:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's pathetic. I don't like the idea and he should find himself someplace else to go...maybe a soup kitchen. Lots of people spend Thanksgiving alone...he could try that. Your wife is wrong.
2006-11-15 10:01:04 · answer #10 · answered by DeborahDel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
um, if that's her EX husband, why the hell would he wanna go to her parents house. Do they have kids together. That may be the only exception, because you know how hard it is for kids who have divorced parents on the holidays.....well.....I wouldn't want the guy around, but that's just my opinion. hope you figure it out, good luck.
2006-11-15 09:56:26 · answer #11 · answered by StonerChick 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋