About 3 months ago i directed my trouble disciplining my step daughter, in an emotional outburst, where i used foul language and made the huge mistake of saying "you don't like that **** you can leave"... I know i errored big time, but i loved my step daughter more than anything in the world. My wife also told my parents that her daughter worships me. My wife trusted me to watch her all day while she was at work. In the morning my step daughter would crawl into bed with me and we would watch cartoons. She was my world, but i only had less then 90 days to adjust to the living situation. I knew what i was getting into, but i stumbled once and it was big time. My wife has sinced moved out and filed for an anullment, and has also cut off all communication with me. I know i pushed her as far away as i could and crushed her heart. I loved my step daughter so much she was my heart and soul. What do you think she is feeling or thinking, and can i still get them back????? I love them
2006-11-15 09:34:29 · 12 answers · asked by john d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all -- it is VERY CREEPY that you would be in bed with the step-daughter (and how OLD is she anyway?) and watching Cartoons.
I DO NOT think this is the whole story here --- I suspect what is a problem with the relationship is the pedophile that you are -- and seriously -- that is why I WAS SCARED for the Wife and Step Daughter and had to READ this posting at LEAST twice before I responded.
2006-11-15 09:47:30 · answer #1 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long were you dating before marriage? How old was your step daughter? Just in passing, there appears to be a bigger problem. Have you read what you wrote? Your "Heart and soul" should be your wife. Your "world" should be your wife. You should not have allowed the daughter to crawl in bed with you, however innocent. And lastly, Who is the "she" whose heart is crushed and who you want to know what they could be feeling or thinking.
I see alot of "red flags" in what you have written. I feel that you are not totally honest in what you are writing. There is something missing. A woman would not leave for a single outburst, even if it was like you had said. I suggest you seek counseling. Since there is no communication, you will have to respect what the mother wants you have no legal, moral, ethical or blood claims.
2006-11-15 10:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by believer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is talk to them. I would start with the step daughter, except that might be difficult if your wife won't let you. I would just tell them, your wife if you have to start there, just what you said here and what you feel. Explain that it take some time to adjust, but that you want another chance more than anything. If you can't talk to her, I just noticed you said she cut off all communication, you can try saying all this in a letter. If this won't work, I'm sorry, I can't think of any other approach. If it works you have to make sure to keep control and not let anything like this ever happen again.
2006-11-15 09:39:42 · answer #3 · answered by irongrama 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your wife did the right thing by leaving, she put her daughhter first when it came to the verbal abuse. What this world needs is more people like her. She's smart to not stick around and find out if it will happen again. Sorry guy, but you messed up big time. If I was your wife, you would be history too. Live and let learn.
2006-11-15 10:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Filing for divorce for that is ridiculous! Maybe she had a past relationship that verbally abused both of them or just her daughter that made her think it was happening again. If that's not the case, then there was already something else going on that made her use it as a good excuse to get up and leave.
2006-11-15 09:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by Viviana 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't feel we're getting the whole truth here for some reason. Marriages don't break up because of 1 outburst usually unless there was severe physical damage done to someone.
I'd write her a letter first. Plead forgivness, even say ( and mean it) that you will attend counseling.
Try your best to express your ever ending love for the both of them.
2006-11-15 09:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow dude. well talk to your wife and see if you 2 can make things work for you guys. Tell her you are sorry and made a mistake. Tell your wife you love her and your stepdaughter very much and they are your life. Tell her how you feel
2006-11-15 10:28:40 · answer #7 · answered by goodlookin.mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One outburst and your wife moved out!!!!
She obviously doesn't care that much for you if she won't communicate with you.
2006-11-15 09:37:36 · answer #8 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How old is the stepdaughter and why was she in bed with you?
2006-11-15 09:40:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only apolgize and see what happens.
2006-11-15 09:37:19 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋