How often does a normal married couple have sex?

Question

Is once every two or three weeks bad? We're both fit, healthy, and attractive. We've been married for a year, but it's been like this since we first started dating. I don't think it's enough, he thinks it's fine. In your opinion, is something wrong?

Oh...and we don't talk about it. When we have in the past it would get even less frequent, so now I just don't mention it. And I am almost always the one to initiate.

Answer 1

Yes, something is wrong. It doesn't matter how often you actually have sex- every day, every week, every month- as long as both of you feel contented. You are unhappy enough about it to be asking this question, so something is going on that isn't quite right.

I've been in a low sex marriage (sex less than once a month, sometimes no sex for six months + at a time) for years and years and believe me, it isn't going to get better over time. You'll end up being the "pursuer" sexually and emotionally, as I am with my husband. Seek outside assistance now, while your relationship is still fresh enough for you both to invest in addressing this issue. Otherwise you'll end up like me- wondering if you chose the wrong mate, wondering if it's still possible to fix it, wondering if platonic friendship is going to be enough for the next 40 years.

Answer 2

From a man that has been married before I would say it's terrible, I would like it a couple times a week, maybe he's just burned out from work or something, I'm not sure what would make him happy only getting it once every 2 to 3 weeks. What's he thinking. Now I see why some married women cheat. sorry hope it don't hurt

Answer 3

There is no such thing as a right or wrong number. Everyone is different and everyone's body's function very differently. If you and your husband are okay with it and happy with each other, there is no point in forcing it. I don't think anything is wrong. However, the most important part of marriage is an open communication. If you are not happy with this situation, you must speak up and let your husband know how you feel. If it bothers you and he doesn't know, how will he fix the problem. Good luck.

Answer 4

Don't go by what is normal for other people. If he is not satisfying you, then you need to assert yourself. You didn't say what age bracket you are in, so assuming that you are both on the sunny side of 40, he needs to have a physical exam. His low libido is not healthy for his age, and his blood tests might reveal a low testosterone level. Have the same doctor test you also and get his opinion as to the root of the situation.

Does he have erections when stimulated? Does he respond when you seduce him? Does he have hang-ups dating back to his adolescence?

If there is no physical reason for his low libido, then he needs psych-counseling, both individually & jointly. A "disinterested" sex partner is not a healthy relationship. It is shame that you didn't recognize this problem prior to your wedding. If it's bad now, it only gets worse with age.

There is a possibility that he prefers a passive role, and he wants you have to be the agresser. There are many variations and combinations to your problems. Good luck trying to figure them out.

Last of all, do not stay in a sexless marriage. Get out while you still have your libido in tact.

Answer 5

Well, I'm in a similar situation except mine is maybe only once every 4-6 weeks. My husband is having a hrad time getting an erection and medications on the market for that make him ill.

It's hard to deal with since I feel I'm the reason and he's not attracted to me etc.... I don't even feel like he tries to initiate or get an erection. It's the only thing we argue about in our marriage.

What happens when you initiate more frequently? I understand it's frustrating to always be the one to start things off. How old is he? Most guys hit their sexual peaks at 21 or so and women his it more around 31.

Answer 6

I have figured out most married couples don't have sex after they have their children. It is a fact. All of my closest friends are in sexless marriages, all attractive, all a good relationship otherwise. Want the kicker....they all don't have sex because the husband doesn't want to, not the wife life the media would like to convince us. Once every two or three weeks is considered a sexless marriage. I should know. I am in one.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

It seems very infrequent. Fit, healthy and attractive, we'd be doing it two or three times a week and that's after we settled down from daily. You are right...it's not enough. What worries me is that it's worse if you try to talk about it and that he rarely initiates. Guys are generally horn dogs, so something is going on and you need to figure out what it is.

Answer 9

me and my wife have been married for 16 years and we have sex about 3 to 4 times a week.

Answer 10

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